The Mental Debt Struggle...

Cherryfudge

It sounds like a lovely time with your friends. As you say, moments like that put other things into perspective.

I love that you are able to keep coming at your repayments from fresh perspectives, and finding new ways of doing things. I'm also a bit relieved that you are taking some pressure off yourself! That much less pressure will pay you dividends.

And about work: are you actively looking yet? I know you're still off but I found it took me a while to find potential jobs that clicked with me (though I'm not in a city, so there's probably a smaller pool of jobs), and it was also a slow process in one case from getting an interview to starting. If you aren't looking, I'd encourage you to start, even if you don't actually apply - to get your hand in, and in case you just happen on a dream job that comes up once in a blue moon!

Makingabobor2

How lovely to have a nice day out with friends. Trying to arrange a girlie weekend with my best friend, she lives 4 hour drive away & its hard to meet up. Does you the world of good though

Keedie

I've not started job hunting as yet @cherryfudge, but I do keep an eye on the types of jobs I might want to apply for. Mainly so that I can see what the job description is about and what they asking for in the criteria. I want to move into digital media/marketing/communications. I'm happy enough with entry level and working upward, as I like to take my time and properly understand what I am doing and I've zero desire to manage anyone ever again and I don't want too much responsibility at work as it's not worth it as far I am concerned. 

I'll always have a part time job to cover my bills and freelance. I wouldn't be able to handle the pressure of trying to live off a freelance income only. I've tried that and I got so depressed it was a vicious cycle; I was so anxious about my income and expenses that I became too depressed to function and in turn lost clients and income which made the depression and anxiety worse. 

Having quality time with friends and family is really what it's all about. I don't want life to pass me by, I already have a difficult enough time of it as it is, and so there isn't really any point in making my life even harder. I've spent all day recovering from my day trip yesterday. It was quite a lot of activity for me, up and down on the tube and getting trains etc. It was quite draining, but I really loved it. And we're meeting up in Norfolk 9-11 February, and I'm looking forward to that as well. We've declared Cambridge as our adult only time spot and so we'll meet up with the kids, then just us three in rotation. It really does make a difference when you can just enjoy yourself with people who know and get you. We've all been friends for nearly 22 years. And now our kids are friends too, and it's so great to watch them all growing up together even if they don't see each for months at a time.

LittleMissDetermined

Just catching up as I didn't get much chance over the weekend @Keedie.  I think that scaling back the debt repayments is exactly the right thing to do.  As others have said, at least you've had money available from somewhere to utilise so that's a win in my book!

Being able to live your life and make memories is hugely important and making room in your budget is essential I think for your mental and physical wellbeing. 

I know it's not a nice thing to say (and I don't mean it to be taken literally), but I'm kind of glad some of your co-workers have been feeling stressed with the workload, as it proves that it's not a 'you' problem. It lies firmly at the door of your employer. I really hope that they change their approach based on this so that nobody else has to go through it.  

So glad you had fun with your friends, and that you've made plans for the next visit. I have started having weekly video calls with some of my friends, just an hour and we have a cuppa and natter away and put the world to rights. It really does make a difference to my mood, something to consider as you live quite far from each other.

Keep at it lovely, I think you're doing amazing!
LMD x

Keedie

I feel a lot better about scaling things back, so it was definitely the right thing to do. And I think looking at things in quarters instead of per month is also helping, as it allows me to have a few months grace to try and get things together to make overpayments without too much pressure.

I know what you mean @LittleMissDetermined about my colleagues also being stressed. Whilst it isn't something that I would wish on anyone, I felt vindicated that it wasn't just me. And they've now got 2 full time people doing what I was doing as a part time employee all on my own. And across the whole wider team they are employing more people and are in the process of recruiting two new people. So they've finally woken up to the fact that they didn't have enough people to begin with. And from having spoken with the Head of Service, she seems to be on the ball, in terms of recognising that things need to the change in the way the work is undertaken as well. So we'll see. Still not heard anything from my manager regarding the OH referral form, as that needs to be consented by me before the appointment can take place. So I dunno what is going on there, but I'm not in a rush to remind them, as without the OH report I can't return to work. So we'll just see what they're doing.

The video calls sounds like a great way to connect with your friends LMD and as does the girlie weekend @Makingabobor2. It makes a big difference to have these connections. They're the moments in life that makes you realise that all the grinding and scrimping and saving isn't the true essence of life. Sustaining relationships with people that matter to you and having time for yourself is what matters.

I've not been feeling too great and was feeling a bit sorry for myself and my son told me to get up and get going to my creative writing group. He told me that he was very proud of me for always going and just like I always see the potential in him and push him, he can see the potential in me and that I needed to just go and do my thing. Well... after such a motivating endorsement, I got myself ready, he got my crutches and helped me down the stairs and put the rubbish out. I then hobbled to my car in the car park, only to see that the passenger tyre on the driver's side was flatter than flat... 🤦🏾‍♀️.

So yeah, I wasn't about to try and change a tyre when I can't bend down and have no chance of getting back up so that will have to wait for another day. I told my son I'd give him instructions to change the tyre as the spare was in the boot, but he looked so panicked by that responsibility I told him not to worry. I'll ask my brother to help me later in the week, so that I can get the car to the tyre shop to see if they can repair the tyre. Not really looking to replace anything as there isn't really the funds for that, but such is life.

I think the flat tire was a way of telling me to just chill today, and my son's motivational talk earlier was a way of telling me that he sees and appreciates me. So not a bad day, even if I'm now back in my bed on the heated blanket recovering from having done the stairs in and out of the flat.

The £10 my brother gave me from what he owes me has gone into the pot for next month's budget. From now on, any money I receive from people who owe me, or any money that I come into from selling things second hand or side hustle money will all go into my budget savings pot on Monzo. I used to save my income and benefits, but then use other bits as they arise, either towards debts or if me or my son need anything. But to build my discipline, I will put every penny in that account from now on and then properly live off the previous month's budget. I think that discipline will help me to not overspend as well.

The NHS penalty charge people came back to me and said that they have closed the case and there is nothing for me to do. They said the enquiry letter was sent, as my dentist practice submitted a claim stating that I didn't pay for my treatment. I don't know which one is lying, but someone is scamming something here. The dentist surgery acted like the NHS penalty people were out of their mind for chasing me when there was proof of payment and the penalty people are saying it's for me to update my dentist surgery so that they don't submit more claims. So essentially, despite doing nothing wrong, the dentist blame the NHS and the NHS blame the dentist and me. You can't make it up 😤. No one has taken responsibility for stressing me out 🙄.

beanielou

You could not make the penalty thing up. 

So not on. 

Keedie

You really can't make it up @beanielou...

This is what the NHS sent me, and it sounds like they're blaming me for the dental practice's poor admin by stating how to 'avoid errors in future'. What is there to say? I already told them I wasn't eligible, hence I paid! Arrrgh! 



The mind really does boggle...

beanielou

Is it next month we get the next COL pennies do you know? Thanks ☺️ 

Keedie

beanielou said:

Is it next month we get the next COL pennies do you know? Thanks ☺️ 

Yep, between 6 Feb to 22 Feb

beanielou

Great. Thanks.