The Mental Debt Struggle...

PennysIntoPounds

That all sounds so exhausting and no wonder you're feeling sorry for yourself, it's horrible having to take time and energy to list all the ways in which things are extremely uncool.But what an excellent achievement, that even though it was laborious and grim, you sat down and you did it, and you stuck up for yourself and also for others in similar positions to you who this workplace or employees might encounter.
I'm impressed and you have definitely earned a glass of your favourite wine/the sleep of the just/a cuppa on the balcony (wearing several layers 😁)

Cherryfudge

Assembling all that must have been extremely hard work. You've done really well to get through it, so reward yourself with rest if you can.

I hope your son has a good term (and gets up okay tomorrow!).

Keedie

It has been very draining trying to sort it all out and I was starting to get a bit paranoid if the truth be told. I wasn't sure if I was reading too much into the letter that I received, so I showed it to my friend who is also an HR Advisor, and she told me that it doesn't paint me in a good light at all. And gave me some advice on who to cc into my email, so that action is actually taken. I was grateful to know that I wasn't being paranoid, but saddened that they were indeed trying to gaslight me.But you're right @PennysIntoPounds, me standing up for myself should hopefully pave the way for better treatment of others. We sure as hell deserve it, after being exploited and overworked!

My son went all the way to college, even after feeling sick and vomiting this morning, only to realise when he got there, that he didn't have lessons as it's reading week and the exam is on Friday 🤦🏾‍♀️. He stayed for a couple of hours in the library then came out sick and crashed out and I've barely been able to get him up, so it's not looking good for his sleep tonight 😬.

But I went to a creative writing workshop today with the Mental Fight Club and it was really good. I even got a free lunch afterwards which was really tasty and I was talking to some of the other people there whilst we ate. I'm getting a glimpse into retired living, as there were a lot of older creatives there, and it's inspired me to cultivate a lifestyle now, that is similar to being semi-retired and doing the things that matter to me. Rather than always being stressed and busy but not even feeling productive.

So I'm taking Mondays as my me-time, and it was nice to do something creative today. And I got really good feedback on what I had written in our exercises, so that has boosted my confidence. I'm determined to complete the first draft of my novel this year. I figured if I have to go back to work and endure all that toxicity to get into a better financial position, I need to ensure that my mind is being nourished and I have a creative outlet. I found some of my adult colouring books whilst decluttering, but I'm yet to remember where I've put the pencils. But that will help me to destress as well.

The budget spreadsheet tracking is going very well. Not as in I'm on top of the budget 😬, but as in going well that I'm keeping up the habit of tracking my expenses against the budget. I can see how I've been falling into problems most months. I think I have been under budgeting for some categories and splurging in others.

So I reckon after the first quarter, I'll be able to see what's what and make some more adjustments. And besides, quarter 2 is when the big debt payments start to materialise, so I need to get on top of my spending, so that the money is available to achieve the next quarter's goal of £2,250 paid off. I've still got an additional £600 to find by the end of March 2024, to meet the target of £1,800 cleared in quarter 1.

I've put the tentative feelers out for freelance work, and I think I have my first copyediting job, so if after the meeting on Friday afternoon things look good, then I can amend that article and if I do a good job, then there's 3 more that I can do apparently. As I'm going back to work to do a job I detest, and be around people who make me question my life choices, I need to be creating avenues of income and career switching. So this has fallen into my lap and it's not a tight turnaround, so I won't be stressed by it and I like editing work (sad huh? 😂), so hopefully it shouldn't be too difficult. And the money for that will come through in February.

PennysIntoPounds

Hope your son feels better soon, poor thing. Better to be tired than ill so if he needs to sleep it out of his system then so be it! 

Enormous congrats on the freelancing job! And the free lunch obvs 😁

Keedie

My son stumbled out of bed for dinner (as you do) and barely has any recollection on any of the conversations we've had when I was trying to get him awake 😂. I could have told him that he'd promised to do the dishes or something and he'd have no clue if it was true or not! He's in much better spirits for having slept for hours. But he said he's still tired enough to go to bed soon, so that's a plus.

I'm excited about the freelance job as it allows me to dip my toes in the water with a career change, with not much at stake. So hopefully it pans out.

Cherryfudge

Oh dear, he really is under the weather, isn't he? I hope he can rest for a few days as it's a reading week, and get his strength back.

I think we are headed in the same career direction, though you are going in for more complicated stuff than I am! How exciting to be getting something freelance to get your teeth into! Loads of good wishes for it all.

LittleMissDetermined

Hope your son is feeling a bit better now, and that you have managed to get some rest too.
LMD x

Makingabobor2

The freelance work sounds exciting. I would love to do something like that now I'm retired  

Keedie

Hey everyone, I hope you're all well. I've had a rollercoaster few days, but things are a lot better now.

My son seems to be feeling a lot better, and his sleeping pattern seems to be a bit better too. Although he has reading week from Business, he still has his English and Maths GCSE classes, so he's still had to go into college yesterday and today. I think the routine of having to get up and leave the house has really helped him and it has improved his mood as I could tell that he was starting to get anxious and down again. But he seems to be spending a lot of time staying awake during the day and keeping busy so that he can fall asleep at night, that he doesn't seem to be doing all that much revision and the exam is on Friday afternoon 😬🤦🏾‍♀️. I've stopped going on at him, as it's just stressing us both out. So I'm just leaving him to do his thing. As my dad always said, "those that don't hear, must feel". Hopefully he still does well in his exam, but if he doesn't, it'll be a lesson he has to learn.

Work wise, I got an email from my manager yesterday and surprise surprise, they've changed my job description to actually reflect what we have been doing and will roll it out to everyone else on the same job description. And they have confirmed in writing that they will not be asking me to do more than my colleagues and we're all going to be doing the same work and there will be no variances amongst our duties! Only took them 16 months since I first raised it when I was given that new job title and job description in September 2022. And it's been 10 months since I've been off sick and asked on numerous occasions for clarity on our job role and relentlessly stated that there needs to be an equitable distribution of labour and expected duties as it's all too lopsided with me and another colleague getting the short stick. 

All of a sudden, since I've copied in the new Head of Service into my email last week, meetings have taken place to discuss the points I raised and they're now willing to meet with me to actually work on a plan of action and my expected duties. I'm very pleased that they've finally worked out that gaslighting me and putting the onus on my bipolar and mental health, instead taking responsibility for the workplace stress which led to this bipolar episode isn't going to cut. But if the truth be told, I'm angry. It should not have taken so much fighting on my part when I was already unwell, for them to behave like decent human beings and take accountability for sending me over the edge in the first place!

But anyways, things are looking up as I've gotten what I wanted and I've forced them into treating us all the same. I told them from now on I will only do what I am contracted to do, and that is based upon my job title and corresponding job description. Funny how things can change when you're not prepared to let people in power get away with their manipulation tactics and exploitation.

I am excited about the freelancing and what prospects that will lead to. The digital marketing course that I have been half heartedly going through has been helpful, but I've not really done much with it. I think it's because it's about running your business and how to do branding and marketing and as I've not done my copywriting course as yet and qualified, I can't really think of what my services that I am going to offer will be. But it has helped me to set up social media accounts and build a basic website.

I'm aiming to complete the copywriting course by July 2024 and finish off the website. It's not very good, but it will be functional and as I gain more experience and confidence, I can make it look fancier as I try to branch out and get more clients. The main thing is that the digital marketing course was free, and it's a great course, but my mind has just been too jumbled to do much with it. But hopefully as things settle and I get back to work and execute my debt free plan, and qualify as a certified copywriter, things will come back to me and I can put the bits I've learned into practice.

I've been putting my coins and change in a little ceramic dish I got whilst on holiday in Kenya (another nice find whilst decluttering 🤗)  and I'm going to count up my change at the end of each week and put the relevant coins in my cat tin or money tin. That way I'll be able to cross things off my savings trackers, and decide what I'm doing with the money. I realised that emptying my purse at the end of the day was boosting my savings but derailing my budget as I kept breaking notes or £1 coins as I didn't have the cash on me. But if I spend what I have and then save from the genuine change at the end of the week, then it makes more sense. Especially as January is such a lean month and it's my East London Sister's birthday this month, my Hot Chocolate Nephew and my Football Mathematician Nephew's birthday all this month. And I may be meeting up with some friends in Cambridge for the day on 20 January.

My driving licence runs on Saturday 13 January 2024 and I spoke to the DVLA and they said under Section 88 of the Road Traffic Act 1988 I can continue to drive if a medical professional states that I am fit to drive. So I've done an e-consult with my GP and I'm waiting to hear back from them. Hot Chocolate Nephew's birthday is on Sunday, so if I don't get confirmation from the GP before then, I'm going to have to work out the bus and train route to get to the Toby Carvery for his birthday dinner. 

Cherryfudge

Wow Keedie - fantastic success with your workplace! Congratulations