The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

That sounds so idyllic @Cherryfudge! Opera and canaries singing 🤗.

I missed my balcony time yesterday as I completely forgot - oops! I'll be out there this afternoon though. I think the trick is sit there as part of my morning routine to wake me up and start the day with a bit of silence and peace.

I'm building a tracking habit with my expenses and bills, and that Etsy spreadsheet has been very helpful in helping me to keep an overview of things. I think I'm quite taken by the little pie charts and graphs as I update my expenses in relation to my budget. But it is helping me to work out exactly what my budget categories are, and it has helped me to think a bit more about how I organise my finances and I've made tweaks to my own spreadsheet, which I use to actually set the budget and then use the Etsy one for recording the budget and logging the transactions.

January and February are going to be financially lean months, and most likely March as well. I'm not sure how the pay is going to work when I'm doing a phased return to work, as it will be based upon working an 18 hour week, and at the moment I'm on half pay based on 28 hours per week. So I think there'll be some jiggling around of the budget once I know how that works. I will then be able to create my own budget planner template that I can print out and work on as I prefer paper and pen when I'm working things out.

Makingabobor2

Good idea to get onto balcony as part of your morning routine. I do a morning stretch routine & love to do it on the patio when the weather is good. This year we are hoping to build a nice under cover area out there with seating. I think morning fresh air is important. X

Keedie

There is just something about crisp morning air that sets your day up right isn't it @Makingabobor2? I think your idea for the patio sounds lovely. As does the morning stretch routine. I do a half hearted stretch when I get up, but I think a proper stretch would be good. The balcony is rather small so I won't be able to do much out there, but maybe I can stretch in the living room and then relax on the balcony in the mornings.

I've just attended a recovery college workshop regarding routines for recovery and how to manage the new year and goal setting so that you don't over commit, and it is realistic. And we did a section about habit stacking, whereby you work out what routines you already do that are good for you and how you can add other habits onto something existing, so that you can make small changes, and build a routine from there.

My son keeps getting £2 coins and 50p coins in his change, and then he hands them to me and I transfer the money to his Starling account. He seems to think I'm a little banker 😂. But he gets so excited when he gets either coins as he knows that I put them in the poundland tin. I realised that he enjoys putting them in there too, so now, I mark off my tracker and he deposits the coins. Team work makes the dream work 🤗.  We managed to put £5.50 in the tins today and I'm excited that I might stand a chance of actually filling the tin this year. As I put all the coins in December in the tin without logging them. So that'll be a bonus and it means that I can open it around Christmas and see what I have to kickstart 2025.

Aimingforthegoodlife

Oh I do love a cup of tea outside, we have a covered area which is good, but I am rubbish at going out there in the Winter, in Spring and Summer I have breakfast and a cuppa out there before work. Outdoors in any shape, is great for mental health!

Keedie

That sounds so lovely @Aimingforthegoodlife and I agree, being outdoors is definitely good for our mental health.

I've had a been of a slothful weekend, as I've been feeling a bit fragile. I went to my bipolar group on Friday, but didn't go to the pub afterwards as my son wasn't well so I needed to get back home and sort out his dinner and make sure he wasn't alone for too long. It was a good meeting, but I was starting to feel really wiped out half way through. I realised that I was at the beginning stages of a chronic fatigue syndrome flare up and so that pretty much dictated my weekend and I've done nothing much. Still feel rough, but not as much as the other day,

But we did pop out for a McDonald's last night and my son was telling me how much he's unimpressed with the rising cost of living as our McDonald's came up to a whopping £17.51, whereas a few months ago, that would have been no more than £14. I don't think he wants to stay in the UK when he's older, he seems to be so over it, as we were driving back from the drive thru with our food slowly getting cooler and cooler. They've shut all the side roads and what used to take us 3 minutes as a return trip now takes about 10 minutes crawling along with the 20mph speed cameras everywhere and everyone else being funnelled onto the main roads too. 

His sleeping pattern has gone all over the place since he's being on the Christmas holidays, so I think he's going to really struggle tomorrow to get up and get to college. I need to buy his travelcard today, and try not to cringe as I spend £98 for him to get to college. I'll have to make sure I'm up too, as I get the feeling I'll be dropping him to the larger train station as he'll likely not make it to our local overground station on time to get his connections 😬.

I've been playing around with the Etsy spreadsheet and it's mindblowing to see all my expense tracking turning into graphs and pie charts and stuff. But it's also helping to see where I'm overspending and where I have under budgeted. I'm determined to track every penny this year so that I can see exactly what I'm doing. And so next year, when I should be debt free, I can make better use of my money, and I can start a different financial chapter with more discipline.

But at least I had some good change from my extortionate McDonald's and the week in general and I was able to put £1.12 in the penny challenge and £0.50 in the 50p challenge. I've decided that when I have completed the first round of my mini penny challenge which saves £30, I'll exchange the coins for notes and put them in the tin that has holds my 50p and £2 challenge. Then at the end of the year, I'll see how much I've saved from coins and put them towards kickstarting 2025 with a celebration of what I have achieved in 2024.

I've still not started my 50 envelope challenge. I've been toying with the idea of making some laminated envelopes so that I can redo the challenge every year. I've watched some tutorials on YouTube and it doesn't look overly complicated, but my lazy side wins out and I just do nothing 🤦🏾‍♀️.

beanielou

Hardly lazy! 

Those who have never experienced chronic pain or chronic fatigue live a different life. 

I sometimes think getting out of bed is a win! 

Four_Seasons

Totally agree beanielou another member of the CFS clan x

Makingabobor2

Having chronic fatigue does not make you lazy or slothful. You can only do what you can do and you need to take care of yourself. I am still fatigued from this awful covid, even walking upstairs is wearing me out at the moment, so I totally understand how you must feel suffering all the time. You need to rest sometimes. x

PennysIntoPounds

Are Maccy D's still doing their reward of a meal discount if you do a receipt survey? Might be worth checking out just in case it's a useful reduction in future

Keedie

You're all very right, sometimes getting out of bed and having a shower is a tremendous achievement and makes me feel like I can conquer the world. I'm just tired of being tired. Fed up of being in pain. And I'm feeling sorry for myself. 

This week has been stressful as I finally sent my email to my managers and it was LONG and I sent all of my letters from the Mental Health Practitioner, Occupational Health, the Specialist Occupational Therapist from the pain programme, and the referral letters from the therapy that I tried to get and was rejected from and a PDF version of the email that I sent on 27 March 2023 asking for clarification of my duties upon returning to work. And I clarified and challenged all of the points that I was not happy with in that letter I received about the formal sickness absence. And it took me about 4 hours to draft that email and I just felt absolutely drained afterwards!

I also had my the work coach from that Maximus Access to Work service that provides the one to one mental health support to help me transition back to work. I've not slept much as it's been so much going on and that led to the flare up. And I'm just so worn out. Always having to battle toxic people is just so utterly draining and depressing. But I just keep trying to think of my clearing my debt and getting on with my life at another workplace. The good thing about the Maximus stuff is that I've been given access to an Employment Support Hub and enrolled on some e-learning modules about health and wellbeing. It looks at things like work/life balance, resilience and relaxation. So I'll give that a go and see how it pans out. 

I'm not sure about the McD's surveys @PennysIntoPounds as I never do them and I didn't get a receipt yesterday from the drive thru. I can't afford McDonald's anytime soon as I have a lot of family birthdays this month and meals out, but I'll definitely make an effort with the surveys next time.