The Mental Debt Struggle...

PennysIntoPounds

Cor well done on getting the rusty screw shifted, that's a good achievement even without physical hurty issues! I was pleased with my EDS body doing all the washing up in one go today and there you are sitting on the estate floor with an audience, wrestling with that 😁
I don't know how it works but it might be worth checking with the relevant union/s if you could still have short notice representation, they are there to support workers in general after all, and if you've been meaning to join then that might be ideal impetus (for both you and the union!). No harm in asking 

Keedie

Yeah I'll contact the union tomorrow and see what they say @PennysIntoPounds. I might give ACAS a ring as well and get some advice.

My back, hips and knees are not thanking me for what I did today, but at least it's done. I've got my heated blanket on now and I'm just relaxing.

Cherryfudge

Well done for winning the battle with the car! I wouldn't have had a clue but it sounds as though you did the right thing.

I had my long term sickness meeting a couple of months back, I took the Union rep with me and it was all okay (despite me getting in a real state beforehand). I also have access to an Employment Support person from the NHS: if you have one they may advise you. You could ask for time to process what's said to you if that makes a difference: there can be a difference between understanding the conversation and realising how some scenario looks in real life. However, speaking to ACAS sounds excellent. They should be able to inform you and their website is good too.

Do have in place your boundaries and ask for time to consider any compromises that are suggested. Oh, and look up lots about 'reasonable adjustments', because you're entitled to them - whether it's doing some of your work from home, starting later (or earlier), having breaks, having adapted furniture etc.

If there's no one suitable on your team who could accompany you, is there a manager, maybe from a related department, who knows you?

Keep us posted.  

AntoMac

Great work with car Keedie! I have every confidence in you for your HR interview. These things are rarely as bad as we think they will be

Keedie

I didn't sleep very well last night, thinking about this meeting and then I've just received the official invite letter and my stomach was in knots! I know it'll probably be okay, but my head is catasrophising about it all @AntoMac, so I need to kind of get over myself and then things will be a bit better. 

I don't have any support people in any official capacity @Cherryfudge, but I will take your advice about stating that I need more time to process things. The main thing is that I need to not panic, and then commit to something that is neither realistic or helpful for me or them. 

I'm trying to get into the mindset of working and I tried on a couple of my work trousers last night, one fits and the other, despite being the same sized label and trousers is very tight and doesn't do up. I think M&S sewed a size 12 label onto a sized 10 trousers as I remembered that they've never fitted and I was too lazy to do anything about it at the time and half convinced myself I would lose enough weight to fit into them in no time 🤦🏾‍♀️😂. That was 5 years ago 🙈. I figured, if I see this as a fresh start and actually get ready to resume working, just as I would do if I was starting a new role, and freshen up my work wardrobe and whatnot, it might make it all less daunting. Metacognition and mental reframing and all of that jazz. 

My internet fixed deal that I pay £37.50 a month for, is ending next month and so they said I can be on a rolling contract for an additional £2 a month. I've no interest in paying £39.50 a month for internet. So I went on their website to see what other price plans they had, and lo and behold there was one for £25 a month for double the speed I have now! I called them straight away and the lady I spoke to has passed my renewal request and price plan option to the renewals team as her system kept freezing. So I'll hear from them within 24 hours. To save £12.50 a month with double the connection speed would be great.

Cherryfudge

I had to look up 'metacognition'. This is a very educational website.  

If you've not worn the work trousers much, why not add them to the sales and put the money towards another pair? Or ask your son to do it for a cut of the price? I like the idea of trying on your work things as if this were a new start. I think my concept of me as a worker has morphed a bit while I've been off and I can imagine that seeing yourself in the mirror in your work clothes will probably help with taking control of that situation.

That's a fantastic improvement in your broadband deal - £150 pa saved. You've reminded me we need to check ours as the speed we've got isn't enough and the cable company won't do our road (DH rang them and asked).

Keedie

Glad that I taught you something @Cherryfudge 🤗. I learn so so much from this forum.

It hadn't occurred to me to sell the trousers, so I'll definitely do that. And then I can get something that I can actually fit into. I'm nervous about my absence meeting next week, but trying to think of how to actually focus on what would make the difference at work when I restart, rather than thinking about the implications of a review meeting. Apparently, they dropped the ball and I should have had one before now.

I've secured my broadband deal and they're upgrading my wifi router for free, so from next month the price drops from £37.50 to £25 for 2 years. My son is very excited that we'll keep the same company as I think he was worried that we'd go back to Sky or something (no chance as the internet was horrendous, especially when it rained for some weird reason). He's thinking of the internet in terms of gaming and streaming sports and films etc. I'm thinking about the internet in terms of researching things on line and watching YoutTube 😂. But we're both happy to stick with Community Fibre and I'm more excited about the price drop than anything else! Also, for some random reason that I am not complaining about, they have also given me a 2 year Tastecard for free. So that's quite exciting and means my Munch Munch (eating out) spending category will stretch further.

I've been playing around with my two part budget some more, and I think I've got it to a realistic amount that will apply when I restart working, as I'll have more money then. I just need to wait for the Argos Card to be fully processed so that I can see what the direct debit is, and how many months the £130 will stretch for. I've tried to Google their terms and it seems that buy now pay later is spread equally over the duration of the price plan period, so I round that up to £41 over the 12 months. But I'm not sure.

We picked up the PS5 and gaming bundle last night and the lady in Argos asked if I wanted to spend an additional £59 (I don't have) on an extended warranty against accidental damage for 3 years, or £25 to cover the controllers. I told her I'd think about it. Not sure if it's worth spending an extra £84? She said that I have 45 days from collection to decide. I've not had cover on any of his consoles before, but I did get stung when the PS4 broke down and wouldn't switch on and it had to be fixed and cleaned and that cost me an eye watering £120. I'll have a good think, as that's an upfront cost, the £84 and not something I can spread over the duration of paying it off, so erm, I dunno to be honest what's best to do? 🤷🏾‍♀️

Keedie

My friend just sent me this and it made me have a bittersweet smile as it sums things up perfectly…

beanielou

Keedie said:

My friend just sent me this and it made me have a bittersweet smile as it sums things up perfectly…

Thank you for sharing. 

I mourn the life I used to have. 

Keedie

I do too @beanielou. I feel like I'm constantly grieving the old me and sometimes I genuinely forget that I can't do certain things so easily, until I have a flare up and I'm struggling. Or I get a jolt of pain or just plain worn out from not doing very much at all...