The Mental Debt Struggle...

Makingabobor2

Oh my, you poor thing. What a day!  Hope your mouth feels ok now after your dentist trip. NHS dentists are really getting few & far between now and its so hard to get in. 

Cherryfudge

That sounds absolutely dire. How is your mouth today? I had similar with a dentist years ago: he was off so often that  the tooth died and it cost me a fortune having the root taken out and a crown put in. However, I had a different dentist to do that and he was superb: I hardly felt him do the work, and the repair has to be at least fourteen years old and is still going strong. Definitely one to flag up with the practice manager in your case.

The garage thing doesn't sound right either - did you get a receipt? It just rings alarm bells, I assume the manager was out of earshot while you were paying. At least the car is put together for now and drive-able.

I hope you're having a better day today.

Keedie

Hey everyone, thank you for your well wishes and checking in on me. The last couple of days have been really hectic and I had my sickness absence review meeting on Thursday and I've been feeling really wiped out ever since. I'd not slept properly beforehand because of my tooth extraction the day before and I've rocking a headache ever since. But I didn't want to be all woe is me and depress everyone so I just didn't post an update as I was still very much in my feelings and acting like a victim 😂. I've got over myself though now.

I don't have it in me to complain to the manager at the dentists, and that garage is admittedly dodgy as they like you to pay in cash. But the reality is that I won't have a car for long and I'll just have to get the screws and get under the car properly screwed on so that I can sell it once the MOT is done in April 2024. I've not been using the car much at all really, so it'll hold up until I get the money together to get it sorted properly and then I'll sell the car. This is going to be such a bitter winter, and although it's not used much, having a car when my joints are stiff and cold will make a difference. Once I'm used to public transport and slow walking from April onward, the 2024 winter onward won't bother me as much. Hopefully anyways.

The sickness absence meeting went well, but I got rather cross and agitated with my manager as she was telling me that I must let her know next time if I'm overwhelmed (I did, they just all ignored me), and she can make accommodations. I explained that I'm not asking for special treatment, I just need them to clarify exactly what they are asking of me, as my job role and job description do not match. And until they're clear on my duties and how that is all supposed to work, I'm not in a position to return to work, as my days of working over and above the scope and remit of my job to deal with their resourcing issues are well and truly done! She said it was the least I deserved but I can tell she wasn't very happy about me highlighting the situation again as we also had a HR representative in the meeting.

But I just can't bring myself to care. I've worked exceptionally hard on my recovery and it's not nice to be in a position where you can barely function and have to literally drag yourself from the depths of despair into a routine that allows me to actually live instead of exist, and to be able to take care of my son, and I'm not prepared to compromise or jeopardise this. And until I know what is expected of me, I can't ensure that my boundaries can be established, so that I return to work and produce tasks to a high quality as usual, without burning myself out and being taken advantage of. So we'll see what happens...

Yesterday was a very good day, as it was the first Friday of the month so I went to my bipolar support group and it was so nice to see everyone and be able to talk freely about how we really feel. We went to the pub as usual afterwards and I had a good time there, and my mouth isn't hurting at all anymore so I was able to have my first hot meal yesterday.

I've been working on my budget as well, and it's already going a lot better than the start of last month. I hobbled down to the bank today and withdrew all the cash we need for the month for things like food shopping, petrol, eating out, family fun and to put in my sinking funds. I need to design more trackers for me to keep on top of what I have spent and for me to make a start on my savings challenges for 2024.

I had £215 in my Debt Buster pot and I decided to pay £200 of it to my mum, and the normal standing order of £50 came out. So that means that I've paid £250 to her for December and with £250 for Barlcaycard to come out at the end of the month, I'll have paid £500 off my debt. So that's quite exciting.

PennysIntoPounds

My diary is all whinge, whinge away gal 😂

Good on you for sticking up for yourself at the work meeting, everything you said is completely fair and reasonable.

That's a nice chunk off the debt, well done! Bet your mum's pleased to have extra back before Christmas too 

beanielou

PennysIntoPounds said:

My diary is all whinge, whinge away gal 😂

Good on you for sticking up for yourself at the work meeting, everything you said is completely fair and reasonable.

That's a nice chunk off the debt, well done! Bet your mum's pleased to have extra back before Christmas too 

Exactly this from me too. 

Aimingforthegoodlife

Dental work sounds brutal! I also love some barefoot moscato, have you tried the fizzy version? I will usually wait for an offer, makes me feel posh! You are doing really well with the debt, I love the idea of you keeping to your xmas budget, whilst teaching DS monetary skills! 

Take care x

Cherryfudge

I think you've done exceptionally well at your sickness absence meeting, I only hope I do as well when I come to give feedback about my previous job. 

It's great you've been able to give your mum a significant chunk, too.

And yay to being back on hot meals!

Keedie

I'll definitely keep my opinionated whinging going them @PennysIntoPounds and @beanielou 😂.

I've not tried fizzy Barefoot @Aimingforthegoodlife, as I didn't know it existed. It's definitely my favourite wine but pricey so it's always brought as a treat when it's on offer. I need to get some Shloer, which I've been calling 'children's wine' for years, on account of the kids in the family always having Shloer in mini wine glasses or shot glasses whilst adults drank wine at special occasions like Christmas and birthdays. 

We're going to my mum's for Christmas, but only for the present opening and then off to the cemetery to visit my dad. Then me and my son will come home and have dinner here, which is the first time we're having Christmas dinner without the rest of the family. I'm actually looking forward to things being quieter and I've started getting little bits and pieces and we'll be able to just have our own meal and relax at home and he can try out his PS5 and then we'll probably watch something on TV.

I get so overwhelmed with everything at Christmas time, and I know this time of year is notoriously difficult for people with mental health conditions, so I'm trying to be kinder to myself. I usually get weighed down by the need to help cook a meal for our family which isn't small and it's a lot to deal with when I just want to do nothing much. So I figured, if I made a macaroni cheese (my son's favourite) in little ramekin dishes, we can easily reheat that on Christmas and most of the meal will be things that I can put in the air fryer or oven and not have to think too much about everything. My son's only request was macaroni and cheese to have as a side with his turkey, pigs in blankets and he said this year he'll try parsnips too.

My sister was a bit horrified by my approach, but my son is also looking forward to spending time with the family, but being able to just come back home and do things at our own pace and timing. I've realised this year, that having a balance is the best approach, as I'm going to see everyone for a timescale that allows me to actually enjoy their company, but I can come home and then enjoy my own company and my son's afterward.

Best of luck with your work meeting @Cherryfudge, I hope it goes well. You've actually inspired me with your approach to moving forward and finding something that suits you first and foremost, so I'm sure your meeting will go well.

My mum was very excited because I gave her a printed statement (I just turned a page of my debt tracking spreadsheet into a PDF), and she could see the history of the payments I'd made and the amount owing. She doesn't know how to really use her online banking, and so seeing the statement and how the debt was progressing, made her smile and she told me that she was proud of me for still going, even when it was hard. That's given me the determination to keep pushing through with everything. 

beanielou

Glad that you are doing what is best for you for Christmas 🎄. 

PennysIntoPounds

That's so lovely @Keedie, and your mum's right, you're doing brilliantly. 

Your Christmas plans sound perfect.

I might have to get some festive Mac Cheese in too. I wonder if anywhere has a good price on festive shaped pasta pieces I could use...
Great work on the parsnips trade-off 😁

Absolutely keep up the opinionated whinging 😂