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Money Moral Dilemma: I'm crashing on a mate's sofa - can I tell him to stop eating my food?



  • ripongrammargirl
    Is this REALLY a mate? You are on his sofa, which he doesn’t want you to be, so you already feel unwanted and a burden and then he has the nerve to eat your food? What did he do before you paid him £160 to sleep on a hard sofa? I doubt that he never ate!!!! He is taking the mick big time and you definitely need to say something. For £160 you deserve some respect and to eat the food that you buy. You can have a double bed and private bathroom  in our house for that price and we won’t eat your food. Ditch the “mate” as you would be better off with your enemies.
  • KaelaLee88
    KaelaLee88 Posts: 13 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    As others have said, why not offer to do joint shopping/cooking and ensure that he has a meal to come home to. You are paying to stay with him which should cover electric/gas/water and perhaps he'd be willing to decrease the rent by a portion in return for you shopping/cooking/doing the dishes, etc? 
    "Araf deg mae mynd ymhell" - "Go Slowly, Go Far" <3
  • consumers_revenge
    Start batch cooking curries, lots of them. Hotter the better. And oranges.....the more the better.

  • SavvySlut
    SavvySlut Posts: 9 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    1. Offer to do his shopping! Ask him to write a list of what he needs and he gives you the money
    2. if your cooking skills are ok tell him you will shop and do the cooking - split the food bill and share your meal times 
    3. If he isn’t agreeable to that. Shop for yourself little and often and your cook meals and eat before he gets home from work. Any additional snacks keep with your personal belongings so he can’t get at them! 
    Yes he’s doing you a favour by providing a roof over your head but you are paying him and his ‘favour’ doesn’t give him the right to steal food from you. 
  • Groom
    Groom Posts: 58 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    This is an awkward situation as it isn't a flat share, he is doing you a favour by letting you sleep on his sofa - how long have you been there and have you given him any idea when you are going to be able to move out? £40 a week probably isn't covering the bills, especially if you are cooking separately and are there all day using electricity etc when he is out. You said that he was reluctant to let you stay, so perhaps it is time to have a good talk to him and ask if he wants you to move out. It must be hard for him having another person around all the time if he is used to living alone. If he is happy for you to stay, then follow some of the previous suggestions.  
  • MalMonroe
    MalMonroe Posts: 5,783 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper Photogenic
    I'd be doing my very best to try to move out. Do you only have the one mate? He doesn't sound like much of a mate though since he wasn't keen to help you when you were desperate in the first place. 

    If you MUST stay with him, then yes, do mention in as nice a way as possible that you're very sorry but you just can't afford to feed him as well as yourself, that's why you're on his sofa. You're paying him £160 which he otherwise wouldn't have. 

    Or you could suggest that you pool your resources and shop together. As others have said, nobody is so busy that they can't do a food shop. You and he could even shop online. 

    But do look around for somewhere else. Even if you have to go to the council and get on their housing list - tell them that you'll be homeless when your 'friend' kicks you out. I'm very sorry to say that you're not welcome. And eating your food is your pal's way of letting you know it.  
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  • CapeTown
    CapeTown Posts: 105 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper
    To meet it is obvious.  He is trying to get rid of you by passing you off. Time to move on.
  • paulk3
    paulk3 Posts: 9 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    It's theft simple,ask him not to steal your food !
    better still tell him you will do his shopping,ask for the money and a shopping list.
  • london21
    london21 Posts: 2,096 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper

    Communicate with him and offer to help to do shopping.


  • Spendless
    Spendless Posts: 24,207 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    I suspect the food eaten is of the hand to mouth variety, crisps, cake bars, sausage rolls rather than he's helping himself to the OP's mince to knock himself up a lasagna.

    The ONLY way I stopped my young adult offspring and mates eating like this at my house(they once devoured a week's shopping in 1 day!) was to stop buying things like this and instead only buy snacks that needed 'building' eg I bought pizza bases and separate toppings. 

    I suspect the clue is in he's working long hours and hasn't time to shop. He's coming home hungry having not prepped and planned himself and eating the first thing he sees.

    It's not cost effective to buy 2 lots of food anyway. Have a chat to him about alternative ways you can food shop. Would investing in a slow cooker so there's a hot meal for both of you when he walks in be an idea? 
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