Debt and Caring

WelshmansDaughter

Hair is cut and apparently I now look like an elf. 
Sitting outside with a cup of tea now before dad gets up for the day.
I've been thinking about a lot of different projects lately and how to organize them. I don't like only working on one thing at a time as there are often days when nothing can be done for a particular thing or I have finished everything and just have to wait for a particular day. Or money. 

GhibliFan

Regarding the spending, people are sometimes very quick to judge and say what you're allowed or not allowed to spend on yourself.  The (POA) rules are designed to prevent financial abuse, but they don't take into account your previous relationship with the person being cared for or the fact that you are saving your family thousands of Euros by caring for them.  Going rate round here for a care home is £1200 to £1500 a week.  

Edited: TMI 🫢 probably would have been wiser in a DM.

satchmo1

Stress can often result in scalp irritation. Philip Kingsley Itchy Scalp Toner is very soothing. It's expensive but lasts years.

WelshmansDaughter

Thanks for the recommendation Satchmo1, I will look out for it once I am finished with the nizoral. Although now I have short hair again I can go cheap and just put coconut oil on it. Yes stress is the main problem. Comfort eating just feeds the micro-organisms all the sugar their little hearts require.

WelshmansDaughter

I do love a good essay Ghibli, the longer the comments the better.
Caring is one of the most misunderstood aspects of life. Dementia even less understood. 
Luckily we don't have to enact our POA in our current circumstances.
I think what people underestimate the most is the mental energy that caring consumes. It is then very difficult to do anything but the most basic things- shopping and eating. Which requires spending. 

GhibliFan

You're right, nobody knows how hard Dementia caring is until they experience it.  I found even medical professionals were ill informed about Dementia and especially how to communicate with a pwd.  Caring is absolutely exhausting in every way. Take care of you, too - you are important and what you do makes a big difference to your loved one's quality of life. 💐.
  

badmemory

It is exhausting, even when you aren't doing day to day care.  Even visiting a care home most days of the week is draining.  I feel sorry for people in a care home with no family to visit regularly as you need to keep an eye out.  I even had to have a quiet word with a new asst manager to explain that she may have been dealing with 0-4s because to put it bluntly you are not trying to get them to grow up but dealing with them going from 4 to 0.  She really thought she could teach them not to take their teeth out etc.  She didn't last very long - not my fault honest!

savingholmes

I would be completely daunted by the challenge you are undertaking in caring for your relative - never mind the extras you are doing in terms of trying to deal with their long term issues with their home too.

I am therefore genuinely in awe of what you are doing and recognise the sacrifice that it takes.

WelshmansDaughter

New hair has rebelled and this morning I woke up as a member of Flock of Seagulls 🤣🤣🤣

The practical side of caring does come easier for me. My parents had us late in life and so I am only in my thirties. I can imagine it would be much more difficult if I was in my fifties or had a family of my own to negotiate. 
That being said, I find other things much harder to cope with. I'm sad that my father doesn't get to have outings with friends, to get up and make himself a cup of coffee, to start a conversation...
Every time somebody tells me that it is hard I say the same thing- it's the most rewarding thing I've ever done. 

WelshmansDaughter

If there is one thing I've learned Ghibli it is that people do not have communication skills full stop. And with dementia it has the effect of making them more confused so they look worse than they are.
I shall try and take care of myself however that is definitely an area I need to upskill in.