Debt and Caring

WelshmansDaughter

Thanks all, it definitely recharged my batteries somewhat. 

Not pictured the small boy and his father driving a remote control car over the rocks. One of those things that I wanted not to judge. But still. 

Sitting outside in the garden today as the sun is blazing down. Was supposed to be planning today but think my brain has switched its engine off. 

Cherryfudge

Minus points: bad example
Plus points: dad and son time, at least it wasn't a real car. 

WelshmansDaughter

I want to be the sort of person who thinks that at least they’re out enjoying nature. I just prefer my nature without engines 🤷

Cherryfudge

I get your point. At least they were out in nature! The quiet time with nature can be when it's you and the little one.

WelshmansDaughter

That was the other thing- I could easily see myself doing something engine based with Small One in inappropriate places 🤦

Cherryfudge

If he's enjoying it and no one's coming to any harm, you probably can't go too far wrong. 

WelshmansDaughter

I’m sitting thinking about a plan for the next two weeks and while I’ve assigned the task to brain to cogitate on, I thought I’d stand a chance of getting other work information out. Starting with a list of thoughts that helped me change my perspective on having too much stuff. @KajiKita

In no order and no importance is implied.

It’s about the idea not the product. At one stage in my decluttering, I gave away an outdoor stove. I still think about it now. But it isn’t about the stove, it’s because I want a place I can sit outside even when it’s cold.

A giant pile of stuff you might need one day is a Giant Pile of Uncertainty. 

Things like minimalism are not about your stuff, they’re about joining a tribe.

Most of us who struggle with stuff have never actually learned why keeping a tidy, well loved house means or why we want it. Or what it looks like. 

Investigate all different organising styles and apply the bits that mean something to you. 

Konmari works to show you how much stuff you have. It isn’t a lifestyle principle. It’s a tool to have in your arsenal. Chances are you will have to keep refining your approach over a long period of time.

Too often we get caught up in romantic ideas of what life can be. At the end of your life, you could end up using only 20 sq metres of the house you worked a whole life to keep.

You don’t need to do everything to the max. I had stuff for mountain hiking when really I just like going on a small hike on a nice forest trail.

Store items in a way that you will intuitively follow. This could be something like having one big cupboard or even a room dedicated to storing everything. It could be painted a colour and items for that section have a corresponding colour label. 

Spend time in places where design/aesthetics has not been considered or where traditional rules don’t work. It helps to see why visuals matter.

Consider what your stuff is hiding. Sometimes it’s emotional. Or maybe your real likes/dislikes. Or perhaps you start something new because there is something too difficult.

All I can think of for now. I’ll probably do a part 2 when I can really pin down more thoughts.

WelshmansDaughter

Maybe I have some more thoughts 😂😂😂
Books

The Happiness Project. In it Gretchen Rubin has a project where she ends up with an empty shelf. For me I think of this as signifying a circular flow of items moving in and out as you move with life instead of piling up stuff against it.

How to Keep House While Drowning. All I really have as a takeaway is put stuff in baskets. This is so handy when there are multiple different categories of stuff to put away and you are too overwhelmed by that.

The Lazy Genius Way. I like this because it is clear language that isn’t prescriptive but instead invites you to think about what you’re doing.

Home Comforts. A very involved book about why we keep house, something I think we forget or never learn. It is nice to have nice things. And part of nice is rarity. Having a lot of something reduces its significance (in general). Household routines etc are part of why we get to be human, we made these things real.

There are probably way more but these four came to mind immediately.

Cherryfudge

Two thought-provoking lists! I particularly like your perspective on minimalism.

KajiKita

Thanks @WelshmansDaughter, I really appreciate that. I’ll see if I can get those books from the library and dig into them a bit more. 

KK