Should I charge my son keep?

Petriix

elsien said:

Petriix said:

I'm going to go against the grain here. None of the comments acknowledge that it's incomparable for a young family to survive today in contrast to even a few years ago. Sounds like they're in a tricky position, but trying to find their feet.

It's great that you're supporting them - they would likely be destitute without that support. People asking what they spend their money on have obviously not experienced the misery of Universal Credit; the idea that they have any spare money is laughable. The truth is that every penny you ask from them will be reducing their already low means to provide for their kids in the long run.

They do need to learn to budget, and you can help with that. My suggestion is that you ask for a contribution, but that you squirrel whatever they pay away and save it up for them, paying it back when they are ready to go it alone.

Also see if your son qualifies for a Help to Save account via his Universal Credit as it's free bonus money which might make a big difference. 

All the more reason not to have a second child till they are back on their feet, surely? 

You don't know the circumstances behind the pregnancy. It seems irresponsible but may have been unplanned. 

Marvel1

In that case, stop buying them stuff etc and consider bye bye there's the door, but she may decide to stop contact with grandchild.

elsien

Petriix said:

elsien said:

Petriix said:

I'm going to go against the grain here. None of the comments acknowledge that it's incomparable for a young family to survive today in contrast to even a few years ago. Sounds like they're in a tricky position, but trying to find their feet.

It's great that you're supporting them - they would likely be destitute without that support. People asking what they spend their money on have obviously not experienced the misery of Universal Credit; the idea that they have any spare money is laughable. The truth is that every penny you ask from them will be reducing their already low means to provide for their kids in the long run.

They do need to learn to budget, and you can help with that. My suggestion is that you ask for a contribution, but that you squirrel whatever they pay away and save it up for them, paying it back when they are ready to go it alone.

Also see if your son qualifies for a Help to Save account via his Universal Credit as it's free bonus money which might make a big difference. 

All the more reason not to have a second child till they are back on their feet, surely? 

You don't know the circumstances behind the pregnancy. It seems irresponsible but may have been unplanned. 

Whether planned or not, there is still a choice. 

HRH_MUngo

Tell them that's fine, if they don't want to pay you, they are free to find a place elsewhere.

Then when they can't find anywhere, tell them they can live at yours for £50 a week.

prowla

(...and to not be a toxic influence in the house.)

HampshireH

elsien said:

Petriix said:

elsien said:

Petriix said:

I'm going to go against the grain here. None of the comments acknowledge that it's incomparable for a young family to survive today in contrast to even a few years ago. Sounds like they're in a tricky position, but trying to find their feet.

It's great that you're supporting them - they would likely be destitute without that support. People asking what they spend their money on have obviously not experienced the misery of Universal Credit; the idea that they have any spare money is laughable. The truth is that every penny you ask from them will be reducing their already low means to provide for their kids in the long run.

They do need to learn to budget, and you can help with that. My suggestion is that you ask for a contribution, but that you squirrel whatever they pay away and save it up for them, paying it back when they are ready to go it alone.

Also see if your son qualifies for a Help to Save account via his Universal Credit as it's free bonus money which might make a big difference. 

All the more reason not to have a second child till they are back on their feet, surely? 

You don't know the circumstances behind the pregnancy. It seems irresponsible but may have been unplanned. 

Whether planned or not, there is still a choice. 

Completely agree. It is their choice. 

To the person who said UC is hard to live on. Yes it is. But it's much easier when someone else pays all your bills, food and baby stuff.

Until they are faced with having to take some responsibility for the costs of life they will keep on taking

wilfred30

That girl wouldn't last 5 minutes in my house before I put her straight.

Pollycat

Petriix said:

I'm going to go against the grain here. None of the comments acknowledge that it's incomparable for a young family to survive today in contrast to even a few years ago. Sounds like they're in a tricky position, but trying to find their feet.

It's great that you're supporting them - they would likely be destitute without that support. People asking what they spend their money on have obviously not experienced the misery of Universal Credit; the idea that they have any spare money is laughable. The truth is that every penny you ask from them will be reducing their already low means to provide for their kids in the long run.

They do need to learn to budget, and you can help with that. My suggestion is that you ask for a contribution, but that you squirrel whatever they pay away and save it up for them, paying it back when they are ready to go it alone.

Also see if your son qualifies for a Help to Save account via his Universal Credit as it's free bonus money which might make a big difference. 

I don't follow the logic in this response.
I'm not sure if you actually mean 'incomparable' but lots of families with young children who are not living with parents have no choice but to manage.
It sounds to me like they are in a lucky - rather than tricky - situation.
And the son's girlfriend doesn't seem to appreciate how lucky she is.
It doesn't sound to me like they are trying to find their feet.
More like they are trying to get their feet under the table even further than they are now (by having another child).

Petriix
What do you think they are spending their money on?
No rent to pay. No bills to pay. No food to pay for. Limited spend for baby stuff.
The idea that they don't have any spare money - with the son in full time work - is laughable.
This young couple need to consider how they provide for their kids in the long run. Not rely on Mum & Dad/in-laws who have other commitments to younger children.

The OP and her husband work full time.
Without this girlfriend and 2 year old baby and soon to be newborn baby in the house during the day, their energy bills would be less.
The OP has said they only just make ends meet.
It will get worse for them with prices for all things rising.

BikingBud

Petriix said:

I'm going to go against the grain here. None of the comments acknowledge that it's incomparable for a young family to survive today in contrast to even a few years ago. Sounds like they're in a tricky position, but trying to find their feet.

It's great that you're supporting them - they would likely be destitute without that support. People asking what they spend their money on have obviously not experienced the misery of Universal Credit; the idea that they have any spare money is laughable. The truth is that every penny you ask from them will be reducing their already low means to provide for their kids in the long run.

They do need to learn to budget, and you can help with that. My suggestion is that you ask for a contribution, but that you squirrel whatever they pay away and save it up for them, paying it back when they are ready to go it alone.

Also see if your son qualifies for a Help to Save account via his Universal Credit as it's free bonus money which might make a big difference. 

Aside from the fact that UC is not designed to provide "in the long run" do you really think the parents have set up savings accounts for the current and expected child to give them good start in life?

Saving the money secretly and paying back to the parents in the future may lead it being squandered down stream, perhaps the OP could consider saving and protecting the cash for the children.

sammyjammy

BikingBud said:

Petriix said:

I'm going to go against the grain here. None of the comments acknowledge that it's incomparable for a young family to survive today in contrast to even a few years ago. Sounds like they're in a tricky position, but trying to find their feet.

It's great that you're supporting them - they would likely be destitute without that support. People asking what they spend their money on have obviously not experienced the misery of Universal Credit; the idea that they have any spare money is laughable. The truth is that every penny you ask from them will be reducing their already low means to provide for their kids in the long run.

They do need to learn to budget, and you can help with that. My suggestion is that you ask for a contribution, but that you squirrel whatever they pay away and save it up for them, paying it back when they are ready to go it alone.

Also see if your son qualifies for a Help to Save account via his Universal Credit as it's free bonus money which might make a big difference. 

Aside from the fact that UC is not designed to provide "in the long run" do you really think the parents have set up savings accounts for the current and expected child to give them good start in life?

Saving the money secretly and paying back to the parents in the future may lead it being squandered down stream, perhaps the OP could consider saving and protecting the cash for the children.

You have to be kidding!  The OP is barely managing herself with the extra cost of this family,  they are adults and should be fiscally responsible for themselves and their offspring, if they are not that is not for the OP to resolve.