Ex Partner Remained in Our Home and is Wrecking It. 10 May 2022 at 4:55PM in Marriage, relationships & families 37 replies 3.6K views

summerfields

Joint tenants. About £25K outstanding on mortgage and I think there is a £2K early redemption fee. 

You are right that I need to make a will to protect my kids' interest in the house. I do have life insurance in the event of me dying before they are 18, they are guaranteed quite a good amount, but not sure what would happen if he tried to sell the house. I will need to look into that.

I have booked an EA valuation for next week, I think it is best to have that before seeking legal advice. Thanks.

RAS

Do you understand that if you have a joint tenancy and die, he gets the whole house? As the surviving tenant.

I'd suggest the other way round.

Register with the Land Registry Alert scheme.

Get a lawyer to severe the tenancy (you can do this unilaterally), after making a will leaving your half to the kids and nominating someone with balls as the trustees.

Get a valuation.

pxxls51

so sorry for you and your child and house.
nobody is allowed to disctroy somebody's home((((
have you talked to him/his friends?

lincroft1710

pxxls51 said:

so sorry for you and your child and house.
nobody is allowed to disctroy somebody's home((((
have you talked to him/his friends?

No home has been "destroyed", just neglected! Also it is the husband's "home", no longer that of the wife and children as they walked out 7 years ago. 

tightauldgit

summerfields said:

tightauldgit said:

The easiest solution would be to hire a gardener and a cleaner while the house is listed and deduct the costs from the proceeds of the sale of the house.

Can it be taken from his share?! The place was actually in quite good nick when I left. My late father spent a lot of time on the garden when we first moved in - this part annoys me more than I can say really.

It was £170K when we bought it with £50K mortgage in 2008 - was valued at £85K in 2015, but surrounding houses have climbed to about £130K since then. But you really can't predict the housing market so I am wondering if we could sell now, if that might be best.

 

You've said in one post that an EA told you it wouldn't be sellable in it's current state when you split and then that it was in good nick when you split so I'm slightly confused. To be honest I think you are going to struggle to make a case that his behaviour is so extreme that you should be compensated for it so try to look at it practically. 

I'm also a bit confused by your valuations. If you bought it for £170k with a £50k mortgage where did the original £120k deposit come from? Or is that a typo for £70k? 

If it's gone down in value by £40k or more since you bought it then it would seem that you would probably only get back at most the original £120k and divide that up in proportion to where it came from. 

If you meant £70k and it's now worth potentially £130k then even if you sold it at less than value of say 100-110k then you should be able to pay off the mortgage, and split the equity increase. 

If it's not sellable in it's current state then it would seem to still make sense (if you can make it work practically) to pay to bring it up to standard and sell it. 

The thing to remember is that it doesn't really matter what it was like 7 years ago, or whats gone on in the past 7 years. You are where you are now and if you don't sell it now things are only going to get worse. So yes applying to the court to force a sale would seem like your best option at this point.

You are going to have to work out an agreement on how that happens and what the equity split is but it seems like a court is going to be inevitable so you might as well get it moving. 

tightauldgit

summerfields said:

Joint tenants. About £25K outstanding on mortgage and I think there is a £2K early redemption fee. 

You are right that I need to make a will to protect my kids' interest in the house. I do have life insurance in the event of me dying before they are 18, they are guaranteed quite a good amount, but not sure what would happen if he tried to sell the house. I will need to look into that.

I have booked an EA valuation for next week, I think it is best to have that before seeking legal advice. Thanks.

I'm less sure on how the process works for unmarried couples than married ones. While you were living in the house were you contributing to the mortgage and upkeep? Did you contribute to the original deposit? I assume you haven't been contributing to the mortgage since you left? I would imagine these things may well be more relevant in the case of cohabitation.

summerfields

I had the EA look at it a year after I left, it was very much a buyers market then and it had been badly neglected for a year. He had a lodger so double the mess. 

The house is an absolute shithole, I don't know how you define 'neglect' but it is more than cosmetic - imagine if you'd done nothing, no redecoration, no repairs, to your own house for 7 years! There is a gigantic chunk of the ridge tiles missing, he doesn't appear to even be interested. Every fence in the garden has now fallen down - the garden is huge. The trees at the back are conifers and have grown to enormous heights. This stuff is expensive to remedy.

IT was our 2nd home, so we put £120K towards it, and yes, I had been paying the mortgage(s) since 2003, it always came from my account, half and half every month, he gave me cash. 

Twixty3

If he doesn’t mind living in the house like that there is not a lot you can do.  

The fact he has a new girlfriend could actually work in your favour especially if he is thinking about a future with her.  

It may be that to get it sorted once and for all accepting that it may not achieve the price it could have may even be worth considering.  An end to an unhappy, stressful time can  be beneficial in itself. 

Some do not recommend buying a property of a separated/divorced couple for reasons like this and add a forced sale into the mix ….. it could take some time to sell. 

I don’t know how a court would divide the money  if it came to that because you are not married but you could be deemed adequately housed and he would be homeless if the house was sold so he has nowhere to go as it stands. It could be a straight 50/50 , I don’t know.  

If you talk of reducing his share because of the loss in what the value would be for repairs may mean he could just dig his heels in further . That’s the reality of it based on what you are saying he is doing.  The housing market could crash before it is sold.  Who knows. 

HampshireH

I am surprised you got social housing from the council if you still have a financial interest in a house.

That doesn't happen here, unless in cases of domestic Abuse.

Sounds like you still have keys and full access. Be interesting to see how he responds to you turning up with an agent for valuation

RogerBareford

summerfields said:

I had the EA look at it a year after I left, it was very much a buyers market then and it had been badly neglected for a year. He had a lodger so double the mess. 

The house is an absolute shithole, I don't know how you define 'neglect' but it is more than cosmetic - imagine if you'd done nothing, no redecoration, no repairs, to your own house for 7 years! There is a gigantic chunk of the ridge tiles missing, he doesn't appear to even be interested. Every fence in the garden has now fallen down - the garden is huge. The trees at the back are conifers and have grown to enormous heights. This stuff is expensive to remedy.

IT was our 2nd home, so we put £120K towards it, and yes, I had been paying the mortgage(s) since 2003, it always came from my account, half and half every month, he gave me cash. 

If the house was in good condition when you left then "badly neglecting it for a year" isn't really going to cause any issues. A house in good condition can be lived in for a year and yes it may be untidy but most people will want to paint and decorate anyway so it would have been easy and cheap for the buyer to tidy it up. I really think you should have sold then to break away financially from your ex and that is what most people recommend on here as nothing good comes of jointly owning a property with an ex.

But if you want to live in the property then there is nothing stopping you from moving back in now and tidying it up as you jointly own it.

Assuming you don't want to do that i really think you need to sell it and just get out of this situation for whatever it is worth. He may live like a slob and not look after the house but you knew that after a year so to let it go on for another 6 years after that then you can't really be surprised it's just got worse and worse.