Currently clueless...aiming for awareness

canvascamper

Thank you @mumtoomany and @bigbeff! 

I have written out a budget, the biggest problem I have at the moment is that until the overdraft is gone, I don't have any money to allocate to anything other than absolute basics, every other penny spent is debt, because it's the bank's money I'm spending. So the budget feels very academic at the moment. Maybe that's the wrong way to look at it. I'm not sure!

Took the kids to the park today with snacks and drinks, all was going well! We were there about an hour and a half, just thinking of heading back and 10yo friend from school arrived and they wanted to play longer. It was really hot and they'd had all their drinks so I got them each an ice lolly. 10yo friend then wanted to come and play, she has a special diet for medical reasons so I nipped to the shop on the way home for some snacks she could have. Total spend for the day £6.80

Cleaner couldn't come as her kid was ill but she's coming tomorrow - at least I got all the tidying done today. So that's £30 spend rolled over to tomorrow.

Listed 2 more bits on eBay.

Tonight's job is to organise a load of paperwork that's stacked up for months - OH liberated some lever arch files for us as the ones we have are full.

Overspend so far £136.77   

canvascamper

Oh, when I say OH liberated some files I mean from his work, he didn't rob WH Smith or anything 

[Deleted User]

Hello 👋 
I've just read through your diary. We are the same age, I have 2 children, married, I previously made £40k and Husband £25k, we lived in our overdraft, I had CC debts from my 20s. We made harsh decisions and got out of debt, I walked away from my career when Husband got a new job £40k and its now £55k. 

And now we are back in debt - no home improvements, no big car expense - purely because like you I didn't want my children to go without, I couldn't say no to nights out, meaks out, a trip to greggs for a few snacks, a take away or 6 because we'd been out all day instead of plan our meals... it all adds up.

I had my wake up moment about a month ago. We were maxing our overdraft each month, I was increasing it to cover the cost of living beyond our means, then enough was enough. I'd say I started facing our debt in January but I wasn't ready to make real change/sacrifice. This was until a close relative said to me " nothing changes if nothing changes". 

At the time I was admittedly very upset with the relative and remember moaning to DH about them. So I sad on this uncomfortable feeling until I realised the comment hurt because it was true. I sat and wrote everything down for a week and counted £150 I'd spent ( of my OD) on coffee, cake, lunch out, take away, subscription, prime purchases... that was just one week. Once this reality hit me I was ready to face facts that I HAD to make a change. I started taking my travel flask out with me and drinks for the children, snacks, I arranged to see friends after lunch, I booked my children onto less activities and un subscribed to prime, netflix and Spotify. 

I'd say you've done the hardest part by facing up to your debt and making this diary, your journey is exactly that, YOURS! Go as slow or as fast as you feel comfortable with. 

I haven't actually started overpaying our debts yet as I was focused on dramatically reducing spending and saving up £1k emergency fund. We are now out of our overdraft and I've reduced it to £800 ( from (£1.5k). In February we were £1.5k OD on the 27th. We now have £1k  for emergencies and on payday I plan on putting a bit of  money into sinking funds then tackling our smallest debt first. 

I've subscribed to your diary and look forward to seeing you grow and move towards your debt free goals xxx

canvascamper

Right, I've looked at the overdraft again because it was driving me a bit nuts trying to figure out how to reduce it but also still set a budget for daily living. Maths never was my strongest subject!

I made myself a chart and I think I have a plan figured out.

So, my monthly wage after deductions is £1946.

My necessary scheduled outgoings are £1604.34 (for now, as I work on reducing them). So, a surplus of £342. 

If I ensure that every month £200 goes into paying off the overdraft, I should in theory be overdraft free when I get paid in September.

That leaves me with £142 plus child benefit of £196.60 each month for all other expenses, total £338.60, that I can transfer to my Monzo account. I need to work out a budget for that amount and then any left over can go back into my current account to reduce the overdraft more quickly.

Sounds straightforward on paper! I get paid mid month so already got paid for April, but child benefit not paid until month end. The only (ha!) problem is that since I got paid in April I have ALREADY spent £266.25 in addition to scheduled bills!! Mostly because it's the Easter holidays. I am basically an idiot. I can see it a lot more clearly now, at least, which is a start. It genuinely makes me feel sick thinking about it all.

I feel a bit overwhelmed by reality tonight. 

[Deleted User]

Hello, I know how overwhelming it can feel. You're not on your own. I promise this situation isn't forever and you are making the right steps to create a better future for you, your Husband and your children.

Will the £300 + be enough for fuel, food, car expenses like mot etc, dentist, hair cuts, birthdays etc each month? It's important to set realistic budgets for each else it will be soul destroying when you fall at each hurdle and have to use more debt to live.

When I started my journey originally I looked at ways I could reduce spending so having 3 coffees out instead of 5, trying to do a few swaps of branded items while I did the food shop, holding back on the big days out and going somewhere at a lower cost. All this helped me make small gradual changes and made a shift in my mindset.

My advice would be start small. It's taken a long time to get in the situations we get ourselves in and it will take time but we will get there.

I hope you can try have a good night's sleep xx

[Deleted User]

Ps  you're not an idiot. Your human, you're a parent, we all want nice things, experiences and to make sure our families are happy. 

Go easy on yourself xxx

WinterWarrior

Just popping on to wish you good luck.
I would also ditch the cleaner, as that seems like an easy win. I don’t run a spotless house and not many do, so you could just do what you can and not sweat the small stuff. It’s not forever, just for a set time while you catch up and become debt free.
The overdraft is the scariest I think, as that’s the one that could be reduced, taken away or the interest increased with very little notice. I’d tackle that first.
i recommend watching YouTube’s and listening to podcasts of Dave Ramsey and all the other money savers and debt busters out there. You might not want to do what they do, but they might inspire you to keep going. There are a lot of sensible people out there who have completed or are on this debt free journey and are happy to share the ups and downs with us,
you’ve got this, you can do this 🌟

benbenandme

I've just read your diary and loved it - you are so close to getting this thing sorted but you still need a shift in mindset. What worked for me was setting aside the leftover amount in my account each month as you have said above, but then anything extra that you make (eBay, surveys, tax rebate etc) goes straight towards the debts as you never had it in the first place. It then becomes a competition to see how quick you can get the next £50, £100 etc. 

How about as a family doing a car boot sale? Set the kids a challenge to find 5 toys they no longer play with, go around the house / shed / loft and dig out all sorts of bits and pieces (clutter mainly) that you don't need anymore. You make money and clear space too, helping keep the house tidy in the process. It saves the time of listing on eBay, particularly for items that won't sell so well on there due to postage. You've already got a big car to take it all in, see if you can make £50 to chuck at a debt that way.

I'd also ditch the milkman and as you said your dh sticks to lists make sure that he is the one who goes to get the stuff from the shops when its needed. This will also cause less stress between you as you both know he won't overspend and you won't be tempted to. 

Good luck and keep updating here regularly, it definitely helps keep the motivation up and keeps you accountable x

canvascamper

Phew. I had a right wobble last night! Feel a bit better today, especially after all your encouragement @Deleted_User @WinterWarrior and @benbenandme, thank you all ❤️

Went into the office today and only spent the tram fare to get in of £4.30. I took my slow cooker soup for lunch and was not tempted out for anything else - I work in a big city centre so it's VERY easy to nip to any shop I chose at lunch. I also work with a load of wealthy fashion addicts so it's easy to see spending as normal. 

I've transferred myself £50 to my Monzo account to try and last until child benefit lands at the end of the month - I'm seeing it as a challenge. 

Great idea about the car boot sale @benbenandme - there's one quite near me that's just restarted after lockdown that's only £10 for a pitch. I'd probably have to do it in secret from the kids, 7yo gets very attached to things (even sticks and rocks 😑) so I'm not sure she'd agree to selling anything!

Minor budget setback today, my kids are still off for Easter and they were supposed to be going out with my parents for the day tomorrow but mum has tested positive for covid. My dad can't manage them on his own so it's an extra day at holiday club for another £20 each. Thank goodness they had spaces though! 7yo is very upset as she doesn't really like holiday club but 10yo loves it so he's chuffed. I told 7yo we could do something special together at the weekend to make up for it so I'll factor that into the budget, maybe we can go and get an ice cream, and she has a £10 book voucher to spend so we could take that to the local bookshop. 

canvascamper

Oh, also some good news, I've been waiting for ages for a refund for some ferry tickets I booked for our summer holiday (camping in Jersey) that had gone through twice in error, so I got a refund on my co-op credit card of £421.25 which is a nice chunk of the balance and brings it down to £2185.76.