Currently clueless...aiming for awareness

Brie

canvascamper said:

@Brie we do watch live TV quite a bit, particularly newsnight and University Challenge (geeks  ).   Then Netflix needs to go.  There's lots available via freeview/freesat.

Milkman - last time I cancelled it I found I spent more on top up shops, I would go out for milk and come back with a load of random !!!!!!.   Get the OH to do all the shopping as he can stick to the lists?  Bulk buy the UHT stuff if that means you don't go to the shops and spend?

Cleaner - it's not the mess that's the issue really, it's the cleaning. I seem to lack the executive functioning skills to clean consistently or effectively and then I get really depressed about the state of things, particularly kitchen and bathrooms.   I quite get this.  OH & I have discussed this on occasion as the bigger the mess the harder it is to start on things.  I've suggested we get a cleaner but he hates the intrusion and states he'll do X, Y, Z but then doesn't.  Which annoys of course.  He's going to be somewhat surprised at me nagging next month when I am at home all the time and will happily give him a chores list with deadlines.

                    

canvascamper

@Brie my OH loves our cleaner as it makes us both in such a better mood when she's been! OH is very good at tidying, but hopeless at cleaning (OH, this is a cloth, you use it to wipe things...). I'm terrible at tidying (just make piles) but much more aware of dust and dirt. Just can't keep on top of it. I'm also very allergic to dust so despite a daily antihistamine I get very congested if I do any big Spring cleaning. Actually must make a GP appt about trying different antihistamines. Will put it on my list.

Yesterday, spent £18.70 at the Easter food fair, sounds like a lot but it was for fresh salad, fries and cake for all 5 of us. Brought the left over cake home for lunch today. Then spent £9.60 at little Tesco on pull ups for 3yo and a bunch of tulips for the host of the BBQ we went to in the afternoon.

Overspend yesterday - £28.30

Total for April so far - £79.27

Today - aiming for a no spend day! Kids are happily mainlining chocolate eggs in front of the TV and the older 2 have got homework to do later. 7yo wants to do some baking and I just remembered I've got 2 piping bags of frosting in the freezer from her last baking session (she wants to be a professional pastry chef one day).

My aims for today are to

1 - plant some veg seeds - I've got sweetcorn, beetroot and squash. Already growing garlic, kale, leeks and raspberries

2 - list 5 things on eBay

3 - make lentil soup in slow cooker for lunches for the week (I'm back in the office 2 days this week and need to avoid buying lunch)

4 - be a nice fun non-shouty mum (a noble aim...in practice I find this so hard  )

Humdinger1

@canvascamper loving your diary and have subscribed.   Having fought my way out of over £100k personal/business debt several years ago, I do agree that unless you can clear it all in a short fixed period that you're happy to treat as a blitz, sustainable is the way to go.  We don't have a cleaner now, but when we did,  she was a key part of feeling on top of the situation and motivated me to keep going. Not everyone will agree but I think that as long as it doesn't segue into expecting to clear debt while changing nothing, using the services of one external expert can really help.  Looking forward to your adventures love Humdinger x 

canvascamper

@Humdinger1 Hi! So happy to have you here  sounds like you've done amazingly clearing your debt.

Update for the day -

Didn't manage a NSD as got a reminder to make a credit card payment, so paid off £55. No other spends though.

Planted lots of seeds with 7yo and 3yo, we planted sunflowers, beetroot, chives, sweetcorn, chillies, thyme and coriander. All in pots on the south facing windowsills to germinate.

Listed 3 things on eBay (all kids clothes), not quite 5 but will try and do a couple more later.

Made soup in the slow cooker out of fridge randoms and cupboard stuff. I put some shredded red cabbage in it that I thought would give it a nice purple colour but it made it a bit of an odd grey colour and the kids won't touch it  so looks like that's my lunches for the next few days.

Mainly managed to be a nice fun mum but we've not got to bedtime for the big 2 yet! 

Overspend for April so far - £129.97

canvascamper

I've just spent a couple of hours going through all of our accounts to properly understand and diarise all of our loan and credit agreements. Of course I should have done this from the start of each one! We moved house in November 2019 and did a big building project so got few bits of credit and 0% cards to finish everything off.

It's so useful to have everything written down in one place and I'm hoping to update all the balances monthly so I can see us chipping away at the amounts. Most of it is interest free so can just tick along until I need to do a new balance transfer at the end of the period, but there is one 6% credit card, our car loan and our mortgage that, if I ever get to the point of having a surplus, can be the focus for overpayment.

I can't log into my student loan account which is annoying because I've been repaying it since 2007 and I honestly have no idea how much longer I will be repaying it for! The email address linked to the loan account is my university email address that I've not used since 2006. I'm sure I used to get paper statements but not had one for a long time. There's a number to phone so I'll do that this week.

I've been reading lots of DFW diaries and getting very inspired! 

cymruchris

canvascamper said:

Most of it is interest free so can just tick along until I need to do a new balance transfer at the end of the period,

Be aware that if you are thinking to apply for a new balance transfer card - there's no guarantee you'll get one in the present climate. How long until the deals expire? What will the increased interest payments do to your monthly budget if they started adding interest? Lending criteria has been a bit tighter in recent months - and if you have existing debt on files as a higher percentage of available credit - there's a chance that you'll get a decline (no matter what your credit score says). Just something to  be aware of, and keep in your mind as you focus on getting the debt down. 

I know you've said you're 'serious' about dealing with it - and can see you're getting your ducks in a row by listing exactly what you've got, going where and when, and what it's costing you. There are two common ways to do it - one is to trickle it slowly, try and cut the odd £ here or there, and blindly hope for the best while continuing to spend, and it'll take a few years to get yourself to where you want to be. The other is where the family sits down, and is candid (even with the kids) to say things are difficult right now, and if we can cut back a bit more drastically, the impact will be the debts are gone sooner, and monthly disposable income returns, allowing a controlled amount of treats back into your life. The family need to be behind you as you get through this rough patch (and I'm sure it is just a rough patch - and yes you CAN do it!) 

Here's a little sobering thought in terms of interest.

Let's say you have £5000 on a credit card. Let's also say you are never going to spend on it ever again. Then let's make a payment of £100 a month towards it. Today is 2022. If you did nothing but pay £100 a month until cleared - it would take you until 2031 to pay it off in full - and from today you'd have paid £5808 interest on top of your £5000 (APR 21.9%) That's MORE interest than the original balance!

If you paid £250 a month following the same rules - it would be clear by 2024 with an interest charge of £1131. (£1131 is still a big chunk of money - that's a new top-spec TV!)

https://www.moneysupermarket.com/credit-cards/calculator/

What I'm trying to emphasise is that the more you can attack the debt NOW - the less  potential interest you'll pay, and your monthly commitments to debts will reduce - and then you'll  back to spending your own disposable income instead of robbing Peter to pay Paul.

We are a nice bunch but sometimes we try and be a little direct. Many of us have had money struggles (and many of us still do). Reading your responses so far I'm really pleased to see you're coming around to the reality of dealing with it, but there's still a way to go and things that can be done. I'm not saying that the next couple of years you have to live like cave dwellers and spend nothing on anything - but the more you can cut here and now - the bigger and quicker the impact will be on the debt.

Yes there might be a little short term pain over the next few months - but when you realise what the debt is truly costing you, and confront it, you might be able to achieve more. OH really needs to get on board - and that sports TV would be the first to go - along with any other TV subscriptions. The milkman would definitely be on his way for now. You mention about buying extras - why not ONLY online shop - and plan what you need. Once a week delivery - essentials only - and a budget of £X (Low) a week for treats (whatever is on offer!). Don't walk into another supermarket unless it's a life and death emergency. (I get a once weekly shopping delivery - and never run out of fresh milk - I haven't been into a supermarket for months). 

I'm with you totally on the fact you're working and juggling 3 kids (well hopefully not physically juggling them) - so time gets eaten away - and you do need some 'me time' and 'us time' and as I say - it's not about turning into cave-dwellers and eating dust. But with a bit more energy and vigour there's a chance you can get these figures down more quickly. (And of course what happens when you do? What do you do then to stop getting back into the same place at some time in future?)

Food for thought really. There's 'serious' and there's 'serious' (and a few stages in between!) Just want to emphasise that the MORE serious you make it - the quicker the short-term pain will pass... 

And a quick side-note - you're recording your overspend which is great - but also keep a note of your underspends too! If you average £175 a week in Tesco - and you manage to cut it to £140 a week - that's a step in the right direction and will also rein in the overspends  

canvascamper

Thank you for taking the time to reply @cymruchris, I really appreciate it. 

The balance transfers are all ending next year, one in April, one in June and one in November. I have stress-checked the interest added repayments and it would definitely be very tight. I do see what you say about taking a long time Vs a shorter but more painful slog. I would love to go brutal, but I also have to balance everyone else's needs and things are never as simple as I'd like, for example I discussed with OH about the milkman and getting rid of NowTV, but 10yo is so routine led and even little things like that are very disruptive for him that it really does have to be baby steps. I'm starting with everything that doesn't affect him first.

I'm quite happy for people to be direct - I'm a lawyer, ha! People shout at me every day. I'd rather hear an honest opinion. 

Plan for today -

Housework this morning (back to work tomorrow so last chance for a few days), I need to tidy up as cleaner is coming at 11.

Take kids to local park when cleaner is here. Thanks to my eBay sale I've got enough for sausage rolls if they ask (which they will) and I've got my slow cooker soup for later.

Decorate 7yo's cake with her.

10yo has his tutor at 4pm so need to remember to take him - normally we go straight after school but he's not back until next week.

Do a load more washing.

Try and list 3 more things on eBay. 

mumtoomany

Well done on starting a diary and looking in detail at the debt. I would suggest looking at every expenditure you have and seeing where/if/how it can be cut. Start today with the park trip. I would "forget" to take my purse/cards/phone, however you pay, but have some spare biscuits or fruit in my bag, from home. Just saved the cost of three sausage rolls, or four if you have one too. When small my children had either rich tea biscuits or cream crackers when we went out. My grandchildren now have the same, when we take them out.
Baby steps and a change of mindset are the trick. Good luck, hugs, mumtoomany.xx

mumtoomany

Another thought, fill in your SOA, you don't need to post it if you don't want. Make sure you include a realistic sum for every category as they stand today. Now look towards the end. There will be a line that says amount left each month. This should be a positive number. If it is, next pay day put half, or more, of this amount straight into a savings account. Do this each month with this spare money. Once you have a reasonable amount put half to an emergence fund half to debts. Doing it on payday means it won't be missed. Mumtoomany.xx

bigbeff

Just started reading and wanted to say hi and best of luck with your plans - I turn 40 in June and would love to feel better at my finances hence attacking from January! Look forward to reading about your journey.