Currently clueless...aiming for awareness

cymruchris

What subscriptions/mobile plans/broadband packages/tv deals are you signed up to? Are any out of contract that could be downgraded? Or suspended for a few months? (Netflix isn't an essential. Spotify isn't an essential. Sky everything every room everywhere isn't an essential) Yes - it's nice to have it all - but it's taking you deeper into the red. Sit down and see what goes out in the way of subscriptions - what can be cut in cost or eliminated completely for a period?

Being about a thousand pounds into overdraft right now - and being a family as you are - you must have a cupboard full of stuff you don't or rarely use. Have you considered an Ebay clear out? Yes - you might have paid £X for it - and you'll only get £Y for it - but money off that overdraft will be far better than stuff sitting in the cupboard that might come in handy one day, but likely never will. Old tech - old iPad's or phones - stuff sitting in a drawer. Even if you think to yourself that's only worth £30 - you've only got to sell ten bits of (excuse the term) old junk that'll hit £300 off your debt. 

Do you have any old jewellery that you don't wear anymore that's 'nice' but you'll never wear again? If there's gold content - get it weighed and turned into cash.

If you're serious - be ruthless. Get yourself out of the hole while you're focussing on how to keep the spend under control. Your current spend to income ratio is the wrong way - with the joint income you have, there should be a pattern of saving a small amount each month ready for Christmas presents - or an annual holiday. 

CRANKY40

canvascamper said:

CRANKY40 said:

Do you claim PIP for the 10 year old? 

No, I don't. My mum is a former social worker and she doesn't think we would qualify. We don't need the mobility component. I do think we might qualify for the lowest need component if I used examples of his worst days. Sometimes I think we're a victim of success a bit, we try so hard to keep him regulated that he doesn't seem so 'affected' to the outside world. There's definitely more costs though - chewlry, weighted blankets, fidget toys, holidays he knows (center parcs ) 

It doesn't matter what your mum thinks and it's based solely on how he copes or does not cope with life in general. When he's an adult and he's launched on the outside world will he be capable of independent living? If the answer is no then claim on his behalf which will enable you to provide the resources that he needs. When he's 15 and all of his friends are getting the bus into town will he be able to go too? If the answer is no then claim. Filling my son's claim form in broke my heart because we had to face up to his disability but it's for his benefit, not mine so I just had to get on with it. 

canvascamper

@cymruchris

Subscriptions - we have Now TV (£20 per month), Spotify (£9.99 per month) and Amazon music (£14.99 per month). The Spotify and Amazon music is really annoying, but without wanting to go into a really long winded explanation, my oldest 2 kids have their own echos and listen to music and podcasts constantly, we have another echo in the kitchen, and I listen to podcasts on my commute, and it's the only way to let everyone listen to what they want without interruption and adverts and with a parent able to use phone controls. I looked into workarounds for weeks but it required the children to have their own Amazon accounts, email addresses or mobile phones, none of which is appropriate. So, I pay for both. Yes I know it's daft. 

My mobile is sim only £10 p/month, broadband phone package plus Freeview and BT sport is £50 p/month, I'd happily get rid of sport but OH would not! We're tied into about 14 months of a 2 yr deal on that package so I've set a Google calendar reminder to look at that again near the time it ends.

Other subscriptions -
Beano - £6.25 per month

CBD gummies for anxiety - £35 per month

Milkman - £50.40 per month

Lottery - £20 per month

Cleaner - £60 per month (already halved her hours since last month)

Have already cancelled 7yo monthly craft box, my fitness app, kids' swimming lessons (they can swim now, don't worry!) 

Re. eBay, I am a seasoned ebayer, I make about £60 a month on selling outgrown stuff and unplayed toys, I also buy all of our clothes on eBay for environmental reasons. This often means that by the time clothes have been handed down all 3 kids they aren't in selling condition  . I sell what I can though. I have a cupboard full of stuff that I need to list but it's hard to find the time. 

No jewellery, sadly! I think Accessorize is fancy 

I am definitely serious, I'm just...in denial? 

canvascamper

@CRANKY40 he should be able to live independently and I think he would probably be able to get a bus with his mates, but I do appreciate that it will be lots of baby steps and scaffolding. He is fairly "high functioning" (I hate that phrase) and extremely smart, so I'm not sure if we'd qualify. Will definitely keep it under review though.

canvascamper

So, my dearest friends in my phone, you're all dying to know if I managed to stay in budget in Smyths toys....

Nope. !!!!!!. I failed on the first day of accountability.

We realised, in the shop, that

1 - 7yo doesnt really like toys, she likes crafts and stuff for her room, and

2 - Smyths toys is hella expensive and you can get hardly anything for £10

So 7yo came out with a space bed tent thing for £17.99 
3yo got a Spiderman doll for £12.99
And I picked up a fidget toy selection tub for 10yo to take to school to replenish his box because they seem to disappear or get broken at an alarming rate.

So, total spend £41.97. Not a good start.

Plus £9 at NT egg hunt.

All over budget so overspend today is £50.97. 

Brie

If you "have to have" the TV subscriptions do you need a TV license?  If you are not watching live TV then it's a waste of £20+ a month.  

And I'd say these should all go too:

Milkman - £50.40 per month  (include it in your weekly shop)

Lottery - £20 per month (stop it.  and doing so you the definitely win £240a year.)

Cleaner - £60 per month (already halved her hours since last month)  (yes kids are messy and so are adults.  learn to live with it or split the chores between you and your OH)

canvascamper

@Brie we do watch live TV quite a bit, particularly newsnight and University Challenge (geeks  ). 

Milkman - last time I cancelled it I found I spent more on top up shops, I would go out for milk and come back with a load of random !!!!!!. 

Lottery - agreed!

Cleaner - it's not the mess that's the issue really, it's the cleaning. I seem to lack the executive functioning skills to clean consistently or effectively and then I get really depressed about the state of things, particularly kitchen and bathrooms. 

God I know I'm making a load of excuses. I  want to be debt-free but also don't want to make my life more stressful than it already is. Just not got the balance right yet.  

canvascamper

Just won an eBay auction for a hoodie for OH birthday - adding £19.50 to overspend = £70.47

However also just sold a top on eBay for  £10.50 which will go into my Monzo account for daily spends, so that's great and will reduce future overspend 

Amber1980

Hiya,just wanted to say good luck!
You sound more organised than you give yourself credit for and I have to say I would keep the cleaner aswell and try and cut down on other things,my anxiety is so much worse if the house isn’t clean and tidy, I have time to do it myself but when I’m struggling through a low patch it’s hard to find the energy and enthusiasm and then I feel even more out of control!
You have an awful lot on your plate and I think you’re doing really well!
The overdraft seems to bother you the most as far as I can tell,and the unplanned overspending seems to be the main issue, but you are acknowledging it,you will get there,don’t forget to be kind to yourself!😊😊

canvascamper

Thank you @Amber1980 that's very kind, I appreciate your lovely words.

Plan for today -

I've got all the Easter clues ready, need to wait for all DC to wake up so I can go and hide everything in the garden (last time I did it before they woke up and a pigeon pooped on one egg and a cat ate part of another  )

We're booking on an Easter children's activity morning, already paid for, so will have lunch to pay for there but not too pricey.

Then visiting friends for a BBQ later, no spends there and hopefully the weather will stay lovely!

Also must remember to buy some pull-ups for 3yo as we've run out last night and he's not dry at night yet - we're cosleeping for part of the night still and waking up in a puddle is not my favourite thing.