Big life decision

PM22

I have 3 choices... what would people suggest? Please be nice, I'm fragile.

I am 45, kids about to leave, bipolar, work f/t earning 26k, 14k in debt.

Long story short, StepChange have recommended a token payment plan for 12 months.
No point doing SOA.

1. Sell flat and move to Germany with boyfriend, missing kids but no more financial pressure. He's a really, really good guy.

2. Stay in flat until creditors for all unsecured debts push me out.

3. Move away from SE to say, Cumbria, buy a house for 100k and work part time.

Any thoughts, no one good to talk to....

PM22

4. Sell up and rent locally....

Thank you

moving_forward

If your bipolar it sounds like things are getting too much for you. Maybe talk to doctor before making a rush decision. I have GAD and have suffered with depression and I find it hard sometimes to think clearly.
So mine is option 5. Talk to professionals before doing ANYTHING
x

PM22

Yes, that's right but they don't help. Services are poor here and they'll just say give up work and live somehow which we know is not possible 

PM22

But thank you 

moving_forward

That's awful. Try complaining to your local MP but I appreciate that will take a lot out of you to do. I've had a mixed experience from mental health support over the years and as hard as it is you have to keep fighting for the help you need. I don't say that lightly as I know when your Ill having to keep asking for help is draining and really hard. Could your boyfriend help you?

PM22

He's biased, lives in Germany and wants me to go there....

He's too far away to be able to help in a practicable way 

moving_forward

You are obviously doing better than you think as you are posting on here asking for advice 🙂
It's not as easy as it was before Brexit you can't just move to Europe now as far as I'm aware.
I think you should go with step change and explain circumstances.
No one is going to take your home for unsecured debt so cross that worry off your list. 
You earn a good income and have raised kids so when they leave costs will be lower.  You are capable of doing more than you realise and will get through this.
If your I'll ask for doctors to sign you off work while you deal with getting better.
Speak to step change and tell creditors you will only accept contact in writing and no phone calls due to mental health. If they call back put phone down and block number.
Someone better knowledgeable than me will be along soon to help but I didn't want to read and run. 

MEM62

My thoughts below.

PM22 said:

I have 3 choices... what would people suggest? Please be nice, I'm fragile.

I am 45, kids about to leave, bipolar, work f/t earning 26k, 14k in debt.
What sort of debt?  

Long story short, StepChange have recommended a token payment plan for 12 months.
No point doing SOA.
There is always a point in an SOA.  It allows the knowledgeable folk on here to consider options that you may not have thought of.    

1. Sell flat and move to Germany with boyfriend, missing kids but no more financial pressure. He's a really, really good guy.
Drastic.  And it does not necessarily mean that you escape from your debt. If you want to go to make a life with your boyfriend then great, but do it because you want to be with him - not as a mechanism for running away from debt.  You will regret that in time.      

2. Stay in flat until creditors for all unsecured debts push me out.
They can only do that after securing the debt and associated (very) long legal processes.  I expect that you are a very long way off your home being at risk.     

3. Move away from SE to say, Cumbria, buy a house for 100k and work part time.
Less drastic than Germany and, if you like Cumbria, maybe worth considering.  Do you any connections there or are you just picking it in the expectation of it being cheap?  

Any thoughts, no one good to talk to....

Your situation may not be a dire as you think - although I do appreciate that it can feel overwhelming.  Stick up an SOA so others may comment.  Also, have you spoken to any of the debt charities?  They will be both helpful and non-judgmental.  

MalMonroe

Can't you talk to your boyfriend? If he's such a good guy then he is the one to help you and support you.

If you read the StepChange info in the following link, you'll see that a Token Payment Plan is a temporary plan to give you some breathing space. With StepChange behind, you you shouldn't be pushed out of your home. 

https://www.stepchange.org/how-we-help/token-payment-plan.aspx

Scroll down to the bottom of the page - 'what next'. It may seem a bit of a faff to sort out but once you have prepared everything, you can hopefully just put things to one side until your finances improve.

If I were you I would definitely contact StepChange again because they will help you to set up the token payment plan as well as a budget and will be supportive every step of the way, if you let them. 

I used StepChange when I had major financial problems and I was allocated a personal adviser who helped me to find the right solution for me. I'm not saying that it was easy but it was such a relief to be able to share my problems.  

Nobody here can really advise you about such a major life decision but I would say please do think twice about selling up and moving to another country right now.

sammyjammy

Another choice is take some time, assuming debts are all unsecured stop paying them, write to creditors tell them you are having problems, are looking at options and will be in touch soon.  Take time to consider pros and cons of other options before you make a long term decision.