Digging My Way Out Of This Mess

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  • diggingmywayout
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    I think my SOA is going to be  work in progress for a couple of months tbh - trying to get a proper balance on things.  it will work out - the main thing for me is my spends are going down and not up and thats got to be good.    

    I had a 'heated exchange' with OH over the weekend about the lack of help he provides.  His dad broke his mobile and I was asked to buy him a new handset (put it on the credit card) then get paid back like 3/4 of the spend for it and then clear the credit card with the money received and the extra that needs putting to it.  i refused to get into more debt and that sort of snowballed into im not getting into any more debt/ money owing till he plays fair and starts to contribute.  anyway he went for an interview with an agency monday of this week and got a call back saying he could start some temp to permanent work next monday on permanent nights working 4 nights a week.  Monday he was going to accept it and yesterday it was yes i'll do it even though it will be a lot for someone of my age/ health (nothing wrong with him apart from idle-itis).  today he's said that he doesnt think he can do it as it will be too much for him and i just snapped that if thats the case i cant do anymore unplanned spend on anything - its a period of status quo at the moment to see what happens but i know he wont go to work for his shift on monday night.  i also know im not going to back down on this one. 

    got cash back from bank account a ma-hoosive £8 and still got £100 in float money in the bank account to last till end of the month after all the bills have been paid.  also got £20 odd in cash and leccie meter is full plus half a tank of petrol so both of those should last till the end of the month ie nearer to payday again.  Enough frozen portions in the freezer to last us till end of next month and dont need to spend on anything at the moment which is good

    have tried to start negotiate a lower settlement figure with the DCA that keeps offering - I sent them an offer of 20% (majorly short of the 80% they keep offering) but they can only say no and then offer to meet me somewhere between the two cant they?  I shall just wait and see what they come back with.

    Had a meeting at work yesterday with the pension administrator - our co pension is changing provider and im looking at making some contributions into it myself - my employer pays 8% of my basic salary but im mindful that my pension provision is patchy so im investigating what difference it will make for me to pay perhaps £50 or so in contributions per month myself as well. 
  • WinterWarrior
    WinterWarrior Posts: 5,762 Forumite
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    Ah that’s so hard. No job, no extra spends seems very fair. He’s lucky he’s getting fed in my humble opinion. He’s just freeloading! If he’s too ill to work then he needs to produce some benefits money (that he can obviously claim, if he’s really ill ). That must be so hard for you ☹️
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  • Moneywhizz
    Moneywhizz Posts: 462 Forumite
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    I am with WinterWarrior in thinking that he is lucky to be getting fed. You are right to dig in and do everything you to get your debt cleared. You are the one going out to work and earning the money so it is entirely your decision as to how you use that money. I have no idea how you have managed to support him all these years without feeling resentful but now is the time to put yourself first and get yourself into a much better position financially. What a difference a week or so has made to your Son. Good luck with getting reduced financial settlement figures. 
  • badmemory
    badmemory Posts: 7,909 Forumite
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    Make sure you look after your own interests (pension in this case) no one else is going to.
  • diggingmywayout
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    got the 20% settlement on the intrum debt agreed in writing - they are willing to accept 328.68  to clear the 1643.40 that is currently outstanding and payment must be made by end of may so two pay days to get it together.  happy with that and will be doing it.  also been offered a partial settlement on the one debt that still appears on my credit report - thats 80% settlement and they wont budge at all - 192.50 to clear a 275£ debt and again have 2 pay days to clear it.  may be doing this as well if i can juggle finances.  

    car passed mot with £400 spend ( put on credit card for now) so another years motoring all covered.  that will be paid from next months money or maybe into junes pay packet if i cant manage it (petrol and food spend will have to be cut to minimum next month but that's fine - not planning to go anywhere and the freezer is still full of portions enough to last us to end of next month.  if i pay it off over the 2 months thats going to add about 20£ total in interest which is not ideal but it means that i can live. 

    just wishing my life away till i get paid again now - 22nd this month.  still got 15£ left in bank account plus £15 and some coppers in cash so doing ok.  everything paid and settled for this month. 

    ive been tracking electric spend (like the rest of the uk population no doubt).  im on prepayment meter so the most expensive way of doing utilities and ive turned all but one radiator off completely.  now just heat the lounge for 4 or 5 hours a day and we are still spending what we used to with 2 radiators on all day.  dont have hot water on we just boil kettles of water as we need them and its timed showers so we dont spend a fortune that way either.  washing machine goes on in non peak hours ie wee small hours and cant see anyway to cut down spend anymore tbh. 
  • badmemory
    badmemory Posts: 7,909 Forumite
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    I'm going to state the obvious here & I'm sure you've already checked, but just in case!  Have you checked the time your meter changes to cheap(er) rate & that it is actually the cheaper rate it is changing to not the more expensive one? 
  • diggingmywayout
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    Number of adults in household........... 2
    Number of children in household......... 
    Number of cars owned.................... 1

    Monthly Income Details[/b]
    Monthly income after tax................ 2222
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
    Benefits................................ 0
    Other income............................ 0
    Total monthly income.................... 2222

    Monthly Expense Details[/b]
    Mortgage................................ 0
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
    Rent.................................... 480
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 98
    Electricity............................. 150
    Gas..................................... 0
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 33
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 12
    TV Licence.............................. 0
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
    Internet Services....................... 48
    Groceries etc. ......................... 200
    Clothing................................ 10
    Petrol/diesel........................... 80
    Road tax................................ 27
    Car Insurance........................... 20
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
    Car parking............................. 0
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 0
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 35
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 0
    Contents insurance...................... 10
    Life assurance ......................... 0
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
    Haircuts................................ 22
    Entertainment........................... 0
    Holiday................................. 0
    Emergency fund.......................... 100
    Total monthly expenses.................. 1345[/b]
    [b]

    Assets[/b]
    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 0
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 750
    Other assets............................ 0
    Total Assets............................ 750
    No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

    Unsecured Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    lowell ........................4219......20........0
    cabot..........................4707......20........0
    link financial ................8367......20........0
    dwp ...........................8000......25........0
    intrum justicia ...............1600......20........0
    Total unsecured debts..........26894.....105.......


    Monthly Budget Summary
    Total monthly income.................... 2222
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,345
    Available for debt repayments........... 988
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 105
    Amount left after debt repayments....... 883

    [b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
    Total assets (things you own)........... 750
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -26894
    Net Assets.............................. -26144

    just been contacted by one of the dca and final debt added to my balance sheet as they provided the proof of the debt - thats another 5300 added to what i owe and im back to where i was tbh - cant see a way out of this at all.  if i were to pay every single penny i have left over against my debt it would take me 29 months to clear and zero life.  time to do some sitting down and working out what the plan of action is cos every time i feel like im getting ahead im not and something else comes up.  

  • vampirotoothus
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    Hey, you're doing great :smile: Look at it like this, the important thing is to get a budget set and stick to it, which you are. Once you do that, you're not ending up in more debt. Next, every penny you pay will reduce the debt as it doesn't look like any interest is being added. So set yourself some savings goals (i.e. emergency fund, car fund, debt fund) and for a life and come to peace with it. When you have a little in the debt fund ask for a full and final offer from maybe the lowest debt, see if they will accept what you have saved and get shot of it, onto the next. Good luck x
  • Moneywhizz
    Moneywhizz Posts: 462 Forumite
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    That is so discouraging but you have made such good progress and you shouldn't give up. Maybe just relax a bit about how long it is going to take to pay off the debt. As vampire says, set your budget to what you are comfortable with, allowing some money for you to have a bit of a life, and concentrate on saving up some funds to make full and final offers. As you have already seen some companies are willing to take a large reduction so you never know what the others will do. If you are not paying interest you could make the minimum payments until you have a reasonable amount to make an offer. Even if you don't get any reduced payments you will still pay off the debt in the same amount of time, by keeping it in a savings account until you have enough to pay it off. It also means you have an emergency fund to fall back on should something else come up. The only thing is that you need to be more disciplined and stick to the budget you set and try not to touch the money you are putting away for debt repayments. Of course if your partner started to contribute to the general household expenses it would help you to save even more money. Let's hope your lack of spending on him spurs him on to look for work. Please don't give up. 
  • Karonher
    Karonher Posts: 922 Forumite
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    I know it is financial advice you are looking for but in your position, I would be looking at spending as little as possible on him. Shop brands for everything he eats, no use of the car, and cut back on everything that is for his benefit.

    This may or may not be the reason I don't have a partner. :D
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