New partner - Child from past relationship - Will

diego_94

74jax said:

I'm married and have a child. My husband has no children. 

My will ensures what I want (house /money) goes to my DD, including the home my husband and I live in (he is not on deeds).  I would hate to leave it to my husband on the promise he'd take care of her. Anything can happen even though I trust my husband completely, I feel happier leaving what I have and me making that decision. 

My husbands Will leaves an awful lot to his family, he's not even close to his family so it's bizarre to me, but his money to do with what he wishes.

My advice would be to sort yours, so you know when you go, you have done the best you can. 

Yes I'll do that. Thanks for the insight.

74jax

diego_94 said:

74jax said:

I'm married and have a child. My husband has no children. 

My will ensures what I want (house /money) goes to my DD, including the home my husband and I live in (he is not on deeds).  I would hate to leave it to my husband on the promise he'd take care of her. Anything can happen even though I trust my husband completely, I feel happier leaving what I have and me making that decision. 

My husbands Will leaves an awful lot to his family, he's not even close to his family so it's bizarre to me, but his money to do with what he wishes.

My advice would be to sort yours, so you know when you go, you have done the best you can. 

Yes I'll do that. Thanks for the insight.

It's difficult and every family does what is right for them. 
My husband and I are completely open and honest in our Wills, and accept we have done what we have. 
I was a single mam for a long time, and so I'm happy knowing I have done what I have and have control over it. 

msb1234

My sisters will left everything the her partner with whom she had 2 children. She died, he got everything, 1 year later he got married, has 2 more children and his will leaves everything to his wife. My nephew and niece will get nothing, even though the only reason he became mortgage free was that my sister died and left everything to him.

diego_94

msb1234 said:

My sisters will left everything the her partner with whom she had 2 children. She died, he got everything, 1 year later he got married, has 2 more children and his will leaves everything to his wife. My nephew and niece will get nothing, even though the only reason he became mortgage free was that my sister died and left everything to him.

Yes this terrifies me. Makes me sad that my child would be sitting there with nothing. I need to change this and do it quickly. Wish me luck!

MalMonroe

diego_94 said:

I split up from my ex a few years ago and now have a new partner - not married to either, and no plans to get married in the future. I have a child from the previous relationship, my current partner has none. Me and new partner have a new house that is held in joint tenants.

We have been having discussions over the past 6 months as my new partner doesn't have a will and I have said they need to get one written, even if it is a basic will. I have a will that leaves everything to my new partner upon my demise, excluding a portion of my pension that will go to my child from the previous relationship.

Now speaking to my new partner about the will, they are adamant that they want to leave stuff to their family instead of me, apart from the house in joint tenants. I've said that they need to be careful about this could lead to complications and said that this type of will may be expensive to setup. What if the will says Leave the sum of £10k to my family and there is not £10k available for them in savings?

This attitude worries me somewhat, as if I die first, my new partner would inherit everything of mine (which I have no problem with), and then when they die everything would go to their family, completely bypassing the child from my first relationship. My new partner is a little obsessed with their family, spends ALOT of time with them (but that's a different story and not really relevant here).

I cant imagine this is a new problem in the world, I would hate for my child to be completely bypassed in all of this and forgotten; I'm sure they would be completely swept aside with little consideration if I passed first. However its very contentious discussion to have with my new partner due to the closeness with their family.

Thoughts? 

If your partner dies first you won't inherit anything because you are not married and if they are wanting to leave everything to their family anyway there doesn't seem much point to them even making a will. You are set to lose out either way.

I don't think I'd be too happy with a partner like that, to be honest. They just don't seem to be too invested in your partnership.

You say "if I die first, my new partner would inherit everything of mine (which I have no problem with)" - but you should have a problem with it because your daughter would lose out.

I have a daughter and her dad left home when she was 9. If I had had another partner (but I just couldn't bear the thought) I would definitely have made a will leaving every single thing of mine (not a lot but that's not the point) to her. Your daughter will definitely be by-passed by your partner, there's no doubt about that.

You have no claim on anything your partner may leave, just as they have no claim on anything of yours. 

If I were you I'd definitely get on and revise that will, tout suite!

theoretica

I agree with other posters, but also from a slightly different angle - don't leave it up to someone else to do something you aren't doing yourself.  You want your child cared for and to inherit - so arrange it.

74jax

theoretica said:

I agree with other posters, but also from a slightly different angle - don't leave it up to someone else to do something you aren't doing yourself.  You want your child cared for and to inherit - so arrange it.

This 100%. And put much better than my post 😉

maisie_cat

If it were me, I'd change the joint tenants to tenants in common and leave my half of the house to my child.

Spendless

It sounds very one sided tbh


However sometimes you need to dig deeper to understand someone's reasoning. When your partner talks about leaving his will that favours 'his family' exactly who is he talking about? Who currently inherits if he dies intestate? .https://www.hughjames.com/documents/docs/2020/intestacy-rules-flow-chart-february-2020-6443.pdf

For example what about your child's other parent. Do they have something to leave, so your partner is thinking they'd be provided for via them plus you to an extent, meanwhile he has a sibling/neice/nephew that he thinks anything he left them  would be a help that they wouldn't otherwise get.

What is there to leave outside of the house, money, assets etc?

On the face of it, I'd make a new will  but I'd also try and establish who your OH's thinking behind who they wish to inherit. 

diego_94

Spendless said:

It sounds very one sided tbh


However sometimes you need to dig deeper to understand someone's reasoning. When your partner talks about leaving his will that favours 'his family' exactly who is he talking about? Who currently inherits if he dies intestate? .https://www.hughjames.com/documents/docs/2020/intestacy-rules-flow-chart-february-2020-6443.pdf

For example what about your child's other parent. Do they have something to leave, so your partner is thinking they'd be provided for via them plus you to an extent, meanwhile he has a sibling/neice/nephew that he thinks anything he left them  would be a help that they wouldn't otherwise get.

What is there to leave outside of the house, money, assets etc?

On the face of it, I'd make a new will  but I'd also try and establish who your OH's thinking behind who they wish to inherit. 

There is a sibling, and also nieces and nephews. this is who they want to benefit. There is a small pot of savings on both parts, pension and potentially payment on death from employers.

The nieces and nephews I don't have a problem with getting things, as it would help them out greatly, the same as my child. But the closeness with their family will mean my child is brushed aside with little thought if I go first.

My childs other parent does own a house as well, so my child would benefit from this. Thats if the same thing as what will potentially happen on my side happens on that side as well! Then my child is brushed aside and will miss out on both parents inheritance.