New partner - Child from past relationship - Will

diego_94

I split up from my ex a few years ago and now have a new partner - not married to either, and no plans to get married in the future. I have a child from the previous relationship, my current partner has none. Me and new partner have a new house that is held in joint tenants.

We have been having discussions over the past 6 months as my new partner doesn't have a will and I have said they need to get one written, even if it is a basic will. I have a will that leaves everything to my new partner upon my demise, excluding a portion of my pension that will go to my child from the previous relationship.

Now speaking to my new partner about the will, they are adamant that they want to leave stuff to their family instead of me, apart from the house in joint tenants. I've said that they need to be careful about this could lead to complications and said that this type of will may be expensive to setup. What if the will says Leave the sum of £10k to my family and there is not £10k available for them in savings?

This attitude worries me somewhat, as if I die first, my new partner would inherit everything of mine (which I have no problem with), and then when they die everything would go to their family, completely bypassing the child from my first relationship. My new partner is a little obsessed with their family, spends ALOT of time with them (but that's a different story and not really relevant here).

I cant imagine this is a new problem in the world, I would hate for my child to be completely bypassed in all of this and forgotten; I'm sure they would be completely swept aside with little consideration if I passed first. However its very contentious discussion to have with my new partner due to the closeness with their family.

Thoughts?

comeandgo

If you are leaving everything to your current partner then she can do what she pleases with your assets, maybe it’s you that should change your will so that your child gets more.

diego_94

Yes I am leaning towards this due to their attitude around the subject. We've had previous discussions around making sure my child is catered for and they agreed. But on the basis of recent discussions I don't trust that this will happen.

getmore4less

The usual solution to an issue like this is  you sever the joint tenancy and give partner a life interest(IPDI trust) with your child(ren) as remaindermen of the trust.

I suspect that is a more difficult conversation when it happens than the ones you are having now.

really should have been done before you bought this place as joint.


it does not have to be expensive, as it stands joint tenats takes the property out of the distributable assets so if there is not say £10k left that just fails.

The bigger issue is the IHT.
Not married joint tenants the house passes by survivorship with no transferable nil rate band leaving a bigger potential IHT bill for the survivor(same IHT happens using a IPDI trust not married)

ZaSa1418

I agree, change your will to make sure your child will inherit as you wish. 

diego_94

getmore4less said:

The usual solution to an issue like this is  you sever the joint tenancy and give partner a life interest(IPDI trust) with your child(ren) as remaindermen of the trust.

I suspect that is a more difficult conversation when it happens than the ones you are having now.

really should have been done before you bought this place as joint.


it does not have to be expensive, as it stands joint tenats takes the property out of the distributable assets so if there is not say £10k left that just fails.

The bigger issue is the IHT.
Not married joint tenants the house passes by survivorship with no transferable nil rate band leaving a bigger potential IHT bill for the survivor(same IHT happens using a IPDI trust not married)

Thanks, this is what I am thinking, and yes that will be a very difficult discussion! Just upsets me that my child will be left sitting with nothing from what could be nice deposit for a property for them.

getmore4less

This is probably the wrong board to discuss the wider issue here.


But considering the death part of it,

in most cases( we don't know ages) a child's chance of getting a death of parent house deposit is unlikely to be timely,  tends to be more grandparents deaths that sync with that event and even then that can be years out.


This brings up the secondary multi generation problem of what happens to any assets you may inherit from your family.

Currently if you die first your partners family will get all that as well.

Something you may want to discuss with your parents and other family that might send things your way.

Also if your child is a minor you need to think about who will take over parental responsibility should the other parent not be interested or has pre deceased.

diego_94

getmore4less said:

This is probably the wrong board to discuss the wider issue here.


But considering the death part of it,

in most cases( we don't know ages) a child's chance of getting a death of parent house deposit is unlikely to be timely,  tends to be more grandparents deaths that sync with that event and even then that can be years out.


This brings up the secondary multi generation problem of what happens to any assets you may inherit from your family.

Currently if you die first your partners family will get all that as well.

Something you may want to discuss with your parents and other family that might send things your way.

Also if your child is a minor you need to think about who will take over parental responsibility should the other parent not be interested or has pre deceased.

Yes this thought has crossed my mind about what would happen of anything I inherit from my parents, I will have a discussion with them given recent conversations. This also works for my partner as well I agree, but I am of the opinion that anything that my partner inherits from their family, should then pass back to the younger family members on their demise. This view is not shared on their part which has taken me by surprise somewhat, if they inherit anything I get from my parents, then my child will be ignored despite my wishes.

In terms of child, guardianship is covered between me and the other parent.

getmore4less

Its a tough one because you get a conflict that is hard to resolve without full trust of the person or discretionary trusts  and then finding someone to act as impartial trustee won't be easy.

The issue is you have independent inheritance lines but want the partner to have full use of your assets for their lifetime.

The problem with ring fencing say using life interest trusts is if the partner needs the money they can't access it, but without some sort of ring fence they can do what they like with it. 

Whatever you decide make sure that someone with your childs interests knows about it(could be the child) it is pretty easy to make assets of a deceased migrate to the wrong people if no one knows about the setup..  

MEM62

diego_94 said:

This attitude worries me somewhat, as if I die first, my new partner would inherit everything of mine (which I have no problem with), and then when they die everything would go to their family, completely bypassing the child from my first relationship. 

If your will is properly and professionally written you can negate this and protect your child's inheritance.  It's not exactly an unusual clause or requirement.    

74jax

I'm married and have a child. My husband has no children. 

My will ensures what I want (house /money) goes to my DD, including the home my husband and I live in (he is not on deeds).  I would hate to leave it to my husband on the promise he'd take care of her. Anything can happen even though I trust my husband completely, I feel happier leaving what I have and me making that decision. 

My husbands Will leaves an awful lot to his family, he's not even close to his family so it's bizarre to me, but his money to do with what he wishes.

My advice would be to sort yours, so you know when you go, you have done the best you can.