Trying to Hide a Secret £20,000 Debt is as Tricky As it Sounds! (:#)

CMD79

theoretica said:

CMD79 said:

So I only had £4.11 in there!!! I didn't feel like I could call back, so I scratched around the car, the bag etc and found £2.30 in loose change. Oh, the humiliation. I put 3 litres in, and sheepishly went into the kiosk. I apologised and said, "I've just out of money, so can I pay this much and this much." He didn't even flinch. He looked like a man who was well used to this happening.

I think that is a useful point - it may be a new situation to you, but actually there are a lot of people who budget that tightly and shop staff are used to it.

Have you sent back the money your husband sent you?  He might appreciate that - and useful to think of emergency pots as something you need to refill so they are available if you need it again sometime in the future.

I sent it back to him straight away, yes 👍🏼 

stymied

CMD79 said:

Hi DFWs!

Send help! This is only going to go one way!! I've challenged myself to not spend any money until 1st August except for a coffee meetup with a friend on Sunday (£5/6). I have food. I have fuel. The daughter is with her grandparents. This should be easy right???? 

Brilliant idea! What will you do to fill your time instead of spending money? Do you have any old hobbies with all the stuff already laying around that you could re-pick up? Or try the start of the couch to 5k?

I would ask hubby to keep the £225 separate and decide how much (£150?) is the start of your emergency fund and how much is for treats for you & DD in the last week of August (£75?).

mr_stripey

CMD79 said:

Hi DFWs!

It's been weird week, and as is my life of living with £20k of debt, a financial rollercoaster! But, I have come out on top in the end. I literally had to stay up all night trying to complete surveys to avoid my DDs bouncing, got stuck away from home with no fuel until my husband bailed me out several hours later, and miraculously, from trying to find extra earnings, have got £225 in my account the day before pay day.... I'm not sure this has ever happened before, but it's making me feel very conflicted in my head. 

At midnight, 2 grand will hit my account. I feel like I've got £225 spare because I haven't ended the month on zero. But August is a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong month until pay day and my daughter is on school holidays. 

Send help! This is only going to go one way!! I've challenged myself to not spend any money until 1st August except for a coffee meetup with a friend on Sunday (£5/6). I have food. I have fuel. The daughter is with her grandparents. This should be easy right???? 

  

well done! Amazing to have such a positive outlook after a tough week. 

just think of that money "left over" as saving for the future (next month). If you can get to the end of next month still a little bit ahead then that's the charm!

CMD79

stymied said:

CMD79 said:

Hi DFWs!

Send help! This is only going to go one way!! I've challenged myself to not spend any money until 1st August except for a coffee meetup with a friend on Sunday (£5/6). I have food. I have fuel. The daughter is with her grandparents. This should be easy right???? 

Brilliant idea! What will you do to fill your time instead of spending money? Do you have any old hobbies with all the stuff already laying around that you could re-pick up? Or try the start of the couch to 5k?

I would ask hubby to keep the £225 separate and decide how much (£150?) is the start of your emergency fund and how much is for treats for you & DD in the last week of August (£75?).

Thanks! 

Funny you should ask that as I've been sitting here on my own all day (aside the Ukrainian family living upstairs who crash and bang about constantly, but largely stay out of way!) feeling quite down. I have a million crafts upstairs and I really need to sort through it all to sell, donate... or use! I've been thinking about trying to create a couple of pictures for the living room wall for months now, but the office is just such a mess I can't face it. But tomorrow, I am going to clear the office and spend the evening doing something with one of the many arts or crafts I dig out. Thanks for the suggestion!

Yes, I probably do need to give it to him for safe keeping.... 

CMD79

mr_stripey said:

CMD79 said:

Hi DFWs!

It's been weird week, and as is my life of living with £20k of debt, a financial rollercoaster! But, I have come out on top in the end. I literally had to stay up all night trying to complete surveys to avoid my DDs bouncing, got stuck away from home with no fuel until my husband bailed me out several hours later, and miraculously, from trying to find extra earnings, have got £225 in my account the day before pay day.... I'm not sure this has ever happened before, but it's making me feel very conflicted in my head. 

At midnight, 2 grand will hit my account. I feel like I've got £225 spare because I haven't ended the month on zero. But August is a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong month until pay day and my daughter is on school holidays. 

Send help! This is only going to go one way!! I've challenged myself to not spend any money until 1st August except for a coffee meetup with a friend on Sunday (£5/6). I have food. I have fuel. The daughter is with her grandparents. This should be easy right???? 

  

well done! Amazing to have such a positive outlook after a tough week. 

just think of that money "left over" as saving for the future (next month). If you can get to the end of next month still a little bit ahead then that's the charm!

Thank you Yes, I think my earlier thoughts were to pay it off the Very account to clear the Very account, however, as Georgiana rightly said, does that then lead to me running out and sticking stuff back on credit... which yes, it does! It always does!! So, I'm going to transfer it to the husband until I have enough of a buffer to be able to make overpayments and have a fund for WHEN I run out. The thing is, if I do nothing but pay my minimum payments now and keep that total repayment  amount consistent as the smaller things get paid off and increase the remaining debts, I'll be paid off by December 2024. Which after 20 years of being in debt, seems like a pretty brilliant outcome.

Thanks for the support and encouragement Mr Stripey

Sarahwithlove

With the high interest on the very I would be tempted to pay it off that. If you know you have that money spare you will be tempted to use it or go easy on reigning in the spending. Or that's what I find myself doing. 

CMD79

Sarahwithlove said:

With the high interest on the very I would be tempted to pay it off that. If you know you have that money spare you will be tempted to use it or go easy on reigning in the spending. Or that's what I find myself doing. 

Yes, that's how I was doing it, but then I'd overpay, run out of money and put something on a credit card, so I need to find a balance. Moving my money to a save account (in my husband's bank!) and then keeping it there until the next month so I have that safety net, I think could be the compromise. If I've not run out of cash for the next payday, I then pay it off, so when I get into trouble, I have a fund to call on, but I have to explain to my husband what happened!  

I'm going to try it this way and see how it looks next pay day. This is unchartered territory for me and madly paying stuff off on pay day, I already know, does not work for me!   

The other option is, that now I have that buffer, any extras I make from surveys etc I will pay off as I go, so that I do get the buzz of paying it off, and still have the buffer. Maybe that's the compromise.... 

xx

CMD79

Happy PAY DAY!! Is anyone else feeling anxious with having so much responsibility they don't know they can do it?! I have got the jitters, that is for sure.....

I have a lot of mystery shopping and cleaning jobs to do today (I'm on annual leave), so I'll try to keep busy.

  

CMD79

Hey DFWs!

I haven't spent any money for 3.75 days. Nothing has left my account at all. In fact, I've been doing surveys, mystery shopping and I've been paid, so since 00:00am Friday, Lloyds must really be wondering what's happened to me.

I have just recalculated my debts with a snowball calculator. I have shaved a month off my Debt Free Date, which I'm pretty pleased about, but that has just made me want to go mad paying stuff off again, and I know that gets me into trouble from previous experience, so I really do need to avoid doing that until I've built my emergency fund.

  

vampirotoothus

Hi I think leave the £225 where it is as your emergency fund. Then you can decide how to pay or save any extra money, maybe split it 50/50 debt and savings,  or 33/33/33 debt, savings and holiday fund, so each day you have less debt and more savings, or you could send to debt on Mon, Weds and Fri and savings on Tues, Thurs and Sat and then set up a little treat fund for you on Sunday's earnings. Anything you do at this stage makes you a winner. Keep going and good luck V x