Seller increases asking price after 10 months when they have caused the delay in exchange!

getmore4less

My overall take away from this is never stop looking until exchanged.

Continue the search as if you were not trying to lock into a particular one.

Can just be regular rightmove,  local rags etc to keep an eye on what's coming on going SSTC  then follow through to real sold prices.

Only showing interest for real if something stanout pops up

Once every couple of weeks or so is probably enough, just in case something better pops up and to be on top of where prices a really going as the old through appear on the land reg..

Also as time goes on do another scan of the  planning in case something material affect the location. 

For the OP being remote this would be very much hands off but when they were in the UK they could consider anything decent. 


As for the motivated sellers, 

Separations and probate are top of the list for potential motivations issues where there can be a sticky partner or beneficiary.

For a move close to family,  one good indicator may be would they move without a place to go to to secure the sale and move in with that family they are so keen to get close to.

For the OP I think it is a case of what else is out there that will meet the brief in you budget 

The idea of dropping development for a higher value kind of makes sense as you have lost the 10 month of development time that would have had the place ready for your return to the UK(whenever that will be).

If still interested I would keep this on the back burner, will think, let the EA to remarket if they think they can get £500k as you won't be interested at that level.

Seems you may have been a lone buyer 10 months ago so giving it a chance back on the market could reset expectations, they will soon come back if no interest and are keener to move than it looks, if there is interest let it go, if none rething what price you would be interested given the extra to get it how you want it.

In some areas builders are difficult to get with reports projects cost more.    

Skiddaw1

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s annoying but house prices have risen in the last ten months by around 10% so something that was valued at £464k in April 2021 is probably worth closely to £500k now. So I can sort of see why they want more money. 

Look at it this way, if the housing market had crashes in the last 10 months I assume you would want to renegotiate now and offer less. I think you need to treat this purely as a financial business transaction and take the emotion out of it. 

I would be tempted to get HSBC to value it again and see if they now think it’s worth more than £464k

Don't agree with this I think it would be valued at less if anything.

And I wouldn't buy from them either , because they're likely to wait another ten months.

so from a financial transaction perspective, they're a waste of time money and effort. From a moral perspective, they're not someone I would now choose to buy from (just wouldn't rest easy with me).

Why would this house be the one house that loses value in the last 10 months? That goes against what is seen in the current housing market. 

Not seen by me. Not seen by lots of people in fact. We don't have the last ten months up to date data as it's always behind. 

Can you imagine every vendor doing this - making people wait ten months to increase the price. Anyway, op seems very level headed.

Nobody made the OP wait. He chose to buy from someone who was not yet in a position to proceed. 

When people make offers, the agents vet them and make sure that they are in a position to proceed. Buyers need to do the same thing with their sellers, or suffer the consequences. 

How, dare I ask, do you propose to vet sellers ability to proceed? Should I ask to
interview them, perhaps get their consent for a lie detector test? Vendors can say whatever they like about how motivated they are to sell, they can say they will go to rented, live with family etc. there is no way to verify that and no obligation for them to do so.

In fact the only reliable method of assessing motivation to sell with such little access to information is do they have a pulse or not! Maybe I should specify that with the EA in my new search. It’s easy with hindsight but how an earth was I know they would

mess me about for 10 months? It would be a very small pool of potential properties available to me if I limited my search to only those without an onward purchase.  

Granted after the first time they pulled out of their purchase that was the signal to act on. If we had been in the U.K. and able to view properties we would have moved on. We stayed with it because we were the other side of the Atlantic and not thrilled about making offers on properties we had not seen in person. Unlike our vendors we don’t want to waste peoples time.

Most comments on this thread have had differing opinions but on the whole very helpful and surprisingly insightful to the situation (or funny!), until now… remind me never to go for a drink with you, I couldn’t suffer the consequences… 

I always managed to find out what position the sellers were in when I bought. These are not unreasonable questions for BOTH parties to ask each other, and a seller who gets past their initial surprise realises that this means I am a serious buyer.

It seems to have worked for me, as I have never been in your unenviable position. 

You don't think I asked what situation the sellers were in? Of course I did, it is usually the first thing I ask the EA at a viewing. I got told 'They are looking to sell because they want to live near their children and grandchildren, that they are keen as they have put it off for over a year due to COVID'. 

Ok, seems reasonable, onto the viewing...

I am still puzzled how think you I had 'chosen to buy from someone who is not yet in a position to proceed'. That is only evident with the benefit of hindsight. 

"they want to live near their children and grandchildren" - that would have put me off, as it sounds like they haven't yet found anywhere that they are keen to offer on.

"they have put it off for over a year due to COVID" - translates as haven't even started looking yet.

Plus, they are looking in a different area of the country, so they may not be very quick finding somewhere, as it involves lots of travel for viewings.

Did you ask exactly where they are looking, then compare house prices in the two areas? Did you ask what they are looking for? Are they going to be able to afford a decent property in the new area? 

Most people are so polite, and take the chance that something like this will happen. 

Of course, if you had asked hard questions, that could have put these particular sellers off. 

In all honesty, if our last set of buyers had interrogated us to that degree I'd have told them to take a running jump.

I'm with the OP. He did all he reasonably could do to ensure the sellers were serious.

lookstraightahead

Skiddaw1 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s annoying but house prices have risen in the last ten months by around 10% so something that was valued at £464k in April 2021 is probably worth closely to £500k now. So I can sort of see why they want more money. 

Look at it this way, if the housing market had crashes in the last 10 months I assume you would want to renegotiate now and offer less. I think you need to treat this purely as a financial business transaction and take the emotion out of it. 

I would be tempted to get HSBC to value it again and see if they now think it’s worth more than £464k

Don't agree with this I think it would be valued at less if anything.

And I wouldn't buy from them either , because they're likely to wait another ten months.

so from a financial transaction perspective, they're a waste of time money and effort. From a moral perspective, they're not someone I would now choose to buy from (just wouldn't rest easy with me).

Why would this house be the one house that loses value in the last 10 months? That goes against what is seen in the current housing market. 

Not seen by me. Not seen by lots of people in fact. We don't have the last ten months up to date data as it's always behind. 

Can you imagine every vendor doing this - making people wait ten months to increase the price. Anyway, op seems very level headed.

Nobody made the OP wait. He chose to buy from someone who was not yet in a position to proceed. 

When people make offers, the agents vet them and make sure that they are in a position to proceed. Buyers need to do the same thing with their sellers, or suffer the consequences. 

How, dare I ask, do you propose to vet sellers ability to proceed? Should I ask to
interview them, perhaps get their consent for a lie detector test? Vendors can say whatever they like about how motivated they are to sell, they can say they will go to rented, live with family etc. there is no way to verify that and no obligation for them to do so.

In fact the only reliable method of assessing motivation to sell with such little access to information is do they have a pulse or not! Maybe I should specify that with the EA in my new search. It’s easy with hindsight but how an earth was I know they would

mess me about for 10 months? It would be a very small pool of potential properties available to me if I limited my search to only those without an onward purchase.  

Granted after the first time they pulled out of their purchase that was the signal to act on. If we had been in the U.K. and able to view properties we would have moved on. We stayed with it because we were the other side of the Atlantic and not thrilled about making offers on properties we had not seen in person. Unlike our vendors we don’t want to waste peoples time.

Most comments on this thread have had differing opinions but on the whole very helpful and surprisingly insightful to the situation (or funny!), until now… remind me never to go for a drink with you, I couldn’t suffer the consequences… 

I always managed to find out what position the sellers were in when I bought. These are not unreasonable questions for BOTH parties to ask each other, and a seller who gets past their initial surprise realises that this means I am a serious buyer.

It seems to have worked for me, as I have never been in your unenviable position. 

You don't think I asked what situation the sellers were in? Of course I did, it is usually the first thing I ask the EA at a viewing. I got told 'They are looking to sell because they want to live near their children and grandchildren, that they are keen as they have put it off for over a year due to COVID'. 

Ok, seems reasonable, onto the viewing...

I am still puzzled how think you I had 'chosen to buy from someone who is not yet in a position to proceed'. That is only evident with the benefit of hindsight. 

"they want to live near their children and grandchildren" - that would have put me off, as it sounds like they haven't yet found anywhere that they are keen to offer on.

"they have put it off for over a year due to COVID" - translates as haven't even started looking yet.

Plus, they are looking in a different area of the country, so they may not be very quick finding somewhere, as it involves lots of travel for viewings.

Did you ask exactly where they are looking, then compare house prices in the two areas? Did you ask what they are looking for? Are they going to be able to afford a decent property in the new area? 

Most people are so polite, and take the chance that something like this will happen. 

Of course, if you had asked hard questions, that could have put these particular sellers off. 

In all honesty, if our last set of buyers had interrogated us to that degree I'd have told them to take a running jump.

I'm with the OP. He did all he reasonably could do to ensure the sellers were serious.

Which is fine if you don't mind losing a prospective sale.

brasso

lookstraightahead said:

Skiddaw1 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s annoying but house prices have risen in the last ten months by around 10% so something that was valued at £464k in April 2021 is probably worth closely to £500k now. So I can sort of see why they want more money. 

Look at it this way, if the housing market had crashes in the last 10 months I assume you would want to renegotiate now and offer less. I think you need to treat this purely as a financial business transaction and take the emotion out of it. 

I would be tempted to get HSBC to value it again and see if they now think it’s worth more than £464k

Don't agree with this I think it would be valued at less if anything.

And I wouldn't buy from them either , because they're likely to wait another ten months.

so from a financial transaction perspective, they're a waste of time money and effort. From a moral perspective, they're not someone I would now choose to buy from (just wouldn't rest easy with me).

Why would this house be the one house that loses value in the last 10 months? That goes against what is seen in the current housing market. 

Not seen by me. Not seen by lots of people in fact. We don't have the last ten months up to date data as it's always behind. 

Can you imagine every vendor doing this - making people wait ten months to increase the price. Anyway, op seems very level headed.

Nobody made the OP wait. He chose to buy from someone who was not yet in a position to proceed. 

When people make offers, the agents vet them and make sure that they are in a position to proceed. Buyers need to do the same thing with their sellers, or suffer the consequences. 

How, dare I ask, do you propose to vet sellers ability to proceed? Should I ask to
interview them, perhaps get their consent for a lie detector test? Vendors can say whatever they like about how motivated they are to sell, they can say they will go to rented, live with family etc. there is no way to verify that and no obligation for them to do so.

In fact the only reliable method of assessing motivation to sell with such little access to information is do they have a pulse or not! Maybe I should specify that with the EA in my new search. It’s easy with hindsight but how an earth was I know they would

mess me about for 10 months? It would be a very small pool of potential properties available to me if I limited my search to only those without an onward purchase.  

Granted after the first time they pulled out of their purchase that was the signal to act on. If we had been in the U.K. and able to view properties we would have moved on. We stayed with it because we were the other side of the Atlantic and not thrilled about making offers on properties we had not seen in person. Unlike our vendors we don’t want to waste peoples time.

Most comments on this thread have had differing opinions but on the whole very helpful and surprisingly insightful to the situation (or funny!), until now… remind me never to go for a drink with you, I couldn’t suffer the consequences… 

I always managed to find out what position the sellers were in when I bought. These are not unreasonable questions for BOTH parties to ask each other, and a seller who gets past their initial surprise realises that this means I am a serious buyer.

It seems to have worked for me, as I have never been in your unenviable position. 

You don't think I asked what situation the sellers were in? Of course I did, it is usually the first thing I ask the EA at a viewing. I got told 'They are looking to sell because they want to live near their children and grandchildren, that they are keen as they have put it off for over a year due to COVID'. 

Ok, seems reasonable, onto the viewing...

I am still puzzled how think you I had 'chosen to buy from someone who is not yet in a position to proceed'. That is only evident with the benefit of hindsight. 

"they want to live near their children and grandchildren" - that would have put me off, as it sounds like they haven't yet found anywhere that they are keen to offer on.

"they have put it off for over a year due to COVID" - translates as haven't even started looking yet.

Plus, they are looking in a different area of the country, so they may not be very quick finding somewhere, as it involves lots of travel for viewings.

Did you ask exactly where they are looking, then compare house prices in the two areas? Did you ask what they are looking for? Are they going to be able to afford a decent property in the new area? 

Most people are so polite, and take the chance that something like this will happen. 

Of course, if you had asked hard questions, that could have put these particular sellers off. 

In all honesty, if our last set of buyers had interrogated us to that degree I'd have told them to take a running jump.

I'm with the OP. He did all he reasonably could do to ensure the sellers were serious.

Which is fine if you don't mind losing a prospective sale.

The point is that you risk losing the sale if you infuriate your vendors, and you’re likely to do that by asking them intrusive questions about where and why they’re moving, and what their budget is. Even if they bit their lip and gave answers to these questions, they could say anything they wanted. What are you proposing: that you make them swear in front of a judge that they’re telling the truth? It’s a balancing act, and we have to trust the EA to play their part. It’s their job to gauge the credibility and good faith of both buyer and seller, and are much better placed than the buyer to assess the seller's bonafides. That’s what the OP did here, and it looks like the EA did his/her job. Unfortunately the vendors have (it seems) simply deceived them, or at best have turned out to be hesitant and unreliable.

GDB2222

brasso said:

lookstraightahead said:

Skiddaw1 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s annoying but house prices have risen in the last ten months by around 10% so something that was valued at £464k in April 2021 is probably worth closely to £500k now. So I can sort of see why they want more money. 

Look at it this way, if the housing market had crashes in the last 10 months I assume you would want to renegotiate now and offer less. I think you need to treat this purely as a financial business transaction and take the emotion out of it. 

I would be tempted to get HSBC to value it again and see if they now think it’s worth more than £464k

Don't agree with this I think it would be valued at less if anything.

And I wouldn't buy from them either , because they're likely to wait another ten months.

so from a financial transaction perspective, they're a waste of time money and effort. From a moral perspective, they're not someone I would now choose to buy from (just wouldn't rest easy with me).

Why would this house be the one house that loses value in the last 10 months? That goes against what is seen in the current housing market. 

Not seen by me. Not seen by lots of people in fact. We don't have the last ten months up to date data as it's always behind. 

Can you imagine every vendor doing this - making people wait ten months to increase the price. Anyway, op seems very level headed.

Nobody made the OP wait. He chose to buy from someone who was not yet in a position to proceed. 

When people make offers, the agents vet them and make sure that they are in a position to proceed. Buyers need to do the same thing with their sellers, or suffer the consequences. 

How, dare I ask, do you propose to vet sellers ability to proceed? Should I ask to
interview them, perhaps get their consent for a lie detector test? Vendors can say whatever they like about how motivated they are to sell, they can say they will go to rented, live with family etc. there is no way to verify that and no obligation for them to do so.

In fact the only reliable method of assessing motivation to sell with such little access to information is do they have a pulse or not! Maybe I should specify that with the EA in my new search. It’s easy with hindsight but how an earth was I know they would

mess me about for 10 months? It would be a very small pool of potential properties available to me if I limited my search to only those without an onward purchase.  

Granted after the first time they pulled out of their purchase that was the signal to act on. If we had been in the U.K. and able to view properties we would have moved on. We stayed with it because we were the other side of the Atlantic and not thrilled about making offers on properties we had not seen in person. Unlike our vendors we don’t want to waste peoples time.

Most comments on this thread have had differing opinions but on the whole very helpful and surprisingly insightful to the situation (or funny!), until now… remind me never to go for a drink with you, I couldn’t suffer the consequences… 

I always managed to find out what position the sellers were in when I bought. These are not unreasonable questions for BOTH parties to ask each other, and a seller who gets past their initial surprise realises that this means I am a serious buyer.

It seems to have worked for me, as I have never been in your unenviable position. 

You don't think I asked what situation the sellers were in? Of course I did, it is usually the first thing I ask the EA at a viewing. I got told 'They are looking to sell because they want to live near their children and grandchildren, that they are keen as they have put it off for over a year due to COVID'. 

Ok, seems reasonable, onto the viewing...

I am still puzzled how think you I had 'chosen to buy from someone who is not yet in a position to proceed'. That is only evident with the benefit of hindsight. 

"they want to live near their children and grandchildren" - that would have put me off, as it sounds like they haven't yet found anywhere that they are keen to offer on.

"they have put it off for over a year due to COVID" - translates as haven't even started looking yet.

Plus, they are looking in a different area of the country, so they may not be very quick finding somewhere, as it involves lots of travel for viewings.

Did you ask exactly where they are looking, then compare house prices in the two areas? Did you ask what they are looking for? Are they going to be able to afford a decent property in the new area? 

Most people are so polite, and take the chance that something like this will happen. 

Of course, if you had asked hard questions, that could have put these particular sellers off. 

In all honesty, if our last set of buyers had interrogated us to that degree I'd have told them to take a running jump.

I'm with the OP. He did all he reasonably could do to ensure the sellers were serious.

Which is fine if you don't mind losing a prospective sale.

The point is that you risk losing the sale if you infuriate your vendors, and you’re likely to do that by asking them intrusive questions about where and why they’re moving, and what their budget is. Even if they bit their lip and gave answers to these questions, they could say anything they wanted. What are you proposing: that you make them swear in front of a judge that they’re telling the truth? It’s a balancing act, and we have to trust the EA to play their part. It’s their job to gauge the credibility and good faith of both buyer and seller, and are much better placed than the buyer to assess the seller's bonafides. That’s what the OP did here, and it looks like the EA did his/her job. Unfortunately the vendors have (it seems) simply deceived them, or at best have turned out to be hesitant and unreliable.

The agents act for the sellers, and in that capacity they ask buyers all sorts of intrusive questions. As a buyer, you can’t rely on them. It’s not their job to help you. If they know what position the sellers are in, they may tell the buyers, but they may not even know. 

It’s a strangely one-sided situation, and it arises because the seller has hired a professional to help with the sale. The buyers mostly just choose to go along with that, perhaps afraid that they might be rejected if they grill the sellers in exactly the same way that they have been grilled themselves. 

brasso

GDB2222 said:

brasso said:

lookstraightahead said:

Skiddaw1 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s annoying but house prices have risen in the last ten months by around 10% so something that was valued at £464k in April 2021 is probably worth closely to £500k now. So I can sort of see why they want more money. 

Look at it this way, if the housing market had crashes in the last 10 months I assume you would want to renegotiate now and offer less. I think you need to treat this purely as a financial business transaction and take the emotion out of it. 

I would be tempted to get HSBC to value it again and see if they now think it’s worth more than £464k

Don't agree with this I think it would be valued at less if anything.

And I wouldn't buy from them either , because they're likely to wait another ten months.

so from a financial transaction perspective, they're a waste of time money and effort. From a moral perspective, they're not someone I would now choose to buy from (just wouldn't rest easy with me).

Why would this house be the one house that loses value in the last 10 months? That goes against what is seen in the current housing market. 

Not seen by me. Not seen by lots of people in fact. We don't have the last ten months up to date data as it's always behind. 

Can you imagine every vendor doing this - making people wait ten months to increase the price. Anyway, op seems very level headed.

Nobody made the OP wait. He chose to buy from someone who was not yet in a position to proceed. 

When people make offers, the agents vet them and make sure that they are in a position to proceed. Buyers need to do the same thing with their sellers, or suffer the consequences. 

How, dare I ask, do you propose to vet sellers ability to proceed? Should I ask to
interview them, perhaps get their consent for a lie detector test? Vendors can say whatever they like about how motivated they are to sell, they can say they will go to rented, live with family etc. there is no way to verify that and no obligation for them to do so.

In fact the only reliable method of assessing motivation to sell with such little access to information is do they have a pulse or not! Maybe I should specify that with the EA in my new search. It’s easy with hindsight but how an earth was I know they would

mess me about for 10 months? It would be a very small pool of potential properties available to me if I limited my search to only those without an onward purchase.  

Granted after the first time they pulled out of their purchase that was the signal to act on. If we had been in the U.K. and able to view properties we would have moved on. We stayed with it because we were the other side of the Atlantic and not thrilled about making offers on properties we had not seen in person. Unlike our vendors we don’t want to waste peoples time.

Most comments on this thread have had differing opinions but on the whole very helpful and surprisingly insightful to the situation (or funny!), until now… remind me never to go for a drink with you, I couldn’t suffer the consequences… 

I always managed to find out what position the sellers were in when I bought. These are not unreasonable questions for BOTH parties to ask each other, and a seller who gets past their initial surprise realises that this means I am a serious buyer.

It seems to have worked for me, as I have never been in your unenviable position. 

You don't think I asked what situation the sellers were in? Of course I did, it is usually the first thing I ask the EA at a viewing. I got told 'They are looking to sell because they want to live near their children and grandchildren, that they are keen as they have put it off for over a year due to COVID'. 

Ok, seems reasonable, onto the viewing...

I am still puzzled how think you I had 'chosen to buy from someone who is not yet in a position to proceed'. That is only evident with the benefit of hindsight. 

"they want to live near their children and grandchildren" - that would have put me off, as it sounds like they haven't yet found anywhere that they are keen to offer on.

"they have put it off for over a year due to COVID" - translates as haven't even started looking yet.

Plus, they are looking in a different area of the country, so they may not be very quick finding somewhere, as it involves lots of travel for viewings.

Did you ask exactly where they are looking, then compare house prices in the two areas? Did you ask what they are looking for? Are they going to be able to afford a decent property in the new area? 

Most people are so polite, and take the chance that something like this will happen. 

Of course, if you had asked hard questions, that could have put these particular sellers off. 

In all honesty, if our last set of buyers had interrogated us to that degree I'd have told them to take a running jump.

I'm with the OP. He did all he reasonably could do to ensure the sellers were serious.

Which is fine if you don't mind losing a prospective sale.

The point is that you risk losing the sale if you infuriate your vendors, and you’re likely to do that by asking them intrusive questions about where and why they’re moving, and what their budget is. Even if they bit their lip and gave answers to these questions, they could say anything they wanted. What are you proposing: that you make them swear in front of a judge that they’re telling the truth? It’s a balancing act, and we have to trust the EA to play their part. It’s their job to gauge the credibility and good faith of both buyer and seller, and are much better placed than the buyer to assess the seller's bonafides. That’s what the OP did here, and it looks like the EA did his/her job. Unfortunately the vendors have (it seems) simply deceived them, or at best have turned out to be hesitant and unreliable.

The agents act for the sellers, and in that capacity they ask buyers all sorts of intrusive questions. As a buyer, you can’t rely on them. It’s not their job to help you. If they know what position the sellers are in, they may tell the buyers, but they may not even know. 

It’s a strangely one-sided situation, and it arises because the seller has hired a professional to help with the sale. The buyers mostly just choose to go along with that, perhaps afraid that they might be rejected if they grill the sellers in exactly the same way that they have been grilled themselves. 

We all know that the EA is paid by the seller but it’s too simplistic to think of their role as being on their side only. Ultimately, they want to get paid and have a successful business, and they do this by trying to bring together the right buyer with the right seller. The better the match, the better their chances of getting paid. We’ve been let down several times in the past 2 years by sellers changing their minds, and like the OP, we’ve had plenty of heart-to-heart conversations with clearly irritated and embarrassed EAs. You might even call some of them slightly conspiratorial in nature as we work out how best to revive a sale, or how best to respond to a vendor wanting a price increase (we walked away). My experience is that EAs will reveal any relevant information about the seller that will keep a good buyer on board. The only intrusive questions we’ve been asked are around ID and financial credibility once an offer's made. I can’t think what other sort of 'grilling' you mean. I think that might happen only if a buyer turns out to be hesitant or unreliable. I presume they’d also be pretty direct with a vendor who keeps changing their minds as it reflects badly on their business.

GDB2222

brasso said:

GDB2222 said:

brasso said:

lookstraightahead said:

Skiddaw1 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s annoying but house prices have risen in the last ten months by around 10% so something that was valued at £464k in April 2021 is probably worth closely to £500k now. So I can sort of see why they want more money. 

Look at it this way, if the housing market had crashes in the last 10 months I assume you would want to renegotiate now and offer less. I think you need to treat this purely as a financial business transaction and take the emotion out of it. 

I would be tempted to get HSBC to value it again and see if they now think it’s worth more than £464k

Don't agree with this I think it would be valued at less if anything.

And I wouldn't buy from them either , because they're likely to wait another ten months.

so from a financial transaction perspective, they're a waste of time money and effort. From a moral perspective, they're not someone I would now choose to buy from (just wouldn't rest easy with me).

Why would this house be the one house that loses value in the last 10 months? That goes against what is seen in the current housing market. 

Not seen by me. Not seen by lots of people in fact. We don't have the last ten months up to date data as it's always behind. 

Can you imagine every vendor doing this - making people wait ten months to increase the price. Anyway, op seems very level headed.

Nobody made the OP wait. He chose to buy from someone who was not yet in a position to proceed. 

When people make offers, the agents vet them and make sure that they are in a position to proceed. Buyers need to do the same thing with their sellers, or suffer the consequences. 

How, dare I ask, do you propose to vet sellers ability to proceed? Should I ask to
interview them, perhaps get their consent for a lie detector test? Vendors can say whatever they like about how motivated they are to sell, they can say they will go to rented, live with family etc. there is no way to verify that and no obligation for them to do so.

In fact the only reliable method of assessing motivation to sell with such little access to information is do they have a pulse or not! Maybe I should specify that with the EA in my new search. It’s easy with hindsight but how an earth was I know they would

mess me about for 10 months? It would be a very small pool of potential properties available to me if I limited my search to only those without an onward purchase.  

Granted after the first time they pulled out of their purchase that was the signal to act on. If we had been in the U.K. and able to view properties we would have moved on. We stayed with it because we were the other side of the Atlantic and not thrilled about making offers on properties we had not seen in person. Unlike our vendors we don’t want to waste peoples time.

Most comments on this thread have had differing opinions but on the whole very helpful and surprisingly insightful to the situation (or funny!), until now… remind me never to go for a drink with you, I couldn’t suffer the consequences… 

I always managed to find out what position the sellers were in when I bought. These are not unreasonable questions for BOTH parties to ask each other, and a seller who gets past their initial surprise realises that this means I am a serious buyer.

It seems to have worked for me, as I have never been in your unenviable position. 

You don't think I asked what situation the sellers were in? Of course I did, it is usually the first thing I ask the EA at a viewing. I got told 'They are looking to sell because they want to live near their children and grandchildren, that they are keen as they have put it off for over a year due to COVID'. 

Ok, seems reasonable, onto the viewing...

I am still puzzled how think you I had 'chosen to buy from someone who is not yet in a position to proceed'. That is only evident with the benefit of hindsight. 

"they want to live near their children and grandchildren" - that would have put me off, as it sounds like they haven't yet found anywhere that they are keen to offer on.

"they have put it off for over a year due to COVID" - translates as haven't even started looking yet.

Plus, they are looking in a different area of the country, so they may not be very quick finding somewhere, as it involves lots of travel for viewings.

Did you ask exactly where they are looking, then compare house prices in the two areas? Did you ask what they are looking for? Are they going to be able to afford a decent property in the new area? 

Most people are so polite, and take the chance that something like this will happen. 

Of course, if you had asked hard questions, that could have put these particular sellers off. 

In all honesty, if our last set of buyers had interrogated us to that degree I'd have told them to take a running jump.

I'm with the OP. He did all he reasonably could do to ensure the sellers were serious.

Which is fine if you don't mind losing a prospective sale.

The point is that you risk losing the sale if you infuriate your vendors, and you’re likely to do that by asking them intrusive questions about where and why they’re moving, and what their budget is. Even if they bit their lip and gave answers to these questions, they could say anything they wanted. What are you proposing: that you make them swear in front of a judge that they’re telling the truth? It’s a balancing act, and we have to trust the EA to play their part. It’s their job to gauge the credibility and good faith of both buyer and seller, and are much better placed than the buyer to assess the seller's bonafides. That’s what the OP did here, and it looks like the EA did his/her job. Unfortunately the vendors have (it seems) simply deceived them, or at best have turned out to be hesitant and unreliable.

The agents act for the sellers, and in that capacity they ask buyers all sorts of intrusive questions. As a buyer, you can’t rely on them. It’s not their job to help you. If they know what position the sellers are in, they may tell the buyers, but they may not even know. 

It’s a strangely one-sided situation, and it arises because the seller has hired a professional to help with the sale. The buyers mostly just choose to go along with that, perhaps afraid that they might be rejected if they grill the sellers in exactly the same way that they have been grilled themselves. 

We all know that the EA is paid by the seller but it’s too simplistic to think of their role as being on their side only. Ultimately, they want to get paid and have a successful business, and they do this by trying to bring together the right buyer with the right seller. The better the match, the better their chances of getting paid. We’ve been let down several times in the past 2 years by sellers changing their minds, and like the OP, we’ve had plenty of heart-to-heart conversations with clearly irritated and embarrassed EAs. You might even call some of them slightly conspiratorial in nature as we work out how best to revive a sale, or how best to respond to a vendor wanting a price increase (we walked away). My experience is that EAs will reveal any relevant information about the seller that will keep a good buyer on board. The only intrusive questions we’ve been asked are around ID and financial credibility once an offer's made. I can’t think what other sort of 'grilling' you mean. I think that might happen only if a buyer turns out to be hesitant or unreliable. I presume they’d also be pretty direct with a vendor who keeps changing their minds as it reflects badly on their business.

Yes, I mean questioning about finances, including the progress of any sale your purchase depends on. That’s completely normal for the estate agent to do on behalf of the seller. But, apparently I am unusual in wanting to know how someone I am buying from is placed. 

brasso

GDB2222 said:

brasso said:

GDB2222 said:

brasso said:

lookstraightahead said:

Skiddaw1 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s annoying but house prices have risen in the last ten months by around 10% so something that was valued at £464k in April 2021 is probably worth closely to £500k now. So I can sort of see why they want more money. 

Look at it this way, if the housing market had crashes in the last 10 months I assume you would want to renegotiate now and offer less. I think you need to treat this purely as a financial business transaction and take the emotion out of it. 

I would be tempted to get HSBC to value it again and see if they now think it’s worth more than £464k

Don't agree with this I think it would be valued at less if anything.

And I wouldn't buy from them either , because they're likely to wait another ten months.

so from a financial transaction perspective, they're a waste of time money and effort. From a moral perspective, they're not someone I would now choose to buy from (just wouldn't rest easy with me).

Why would this house be the one house that loses value in the last 10 months? That goes against what is seen in the current housing market. 

Not seen by me. Not seen by lots of people in fact. We don't have the last ten months up to date data as it's always behind. 

Can you imagine every vendor doing this - making people wait ten months to increase the price. Anyway, op seems very level headed.

Nobody made the OP wait. He chose to buy from someone who was not yet in a position to proceed. 

When people make offers, the agents vet them and make sure that they are in a position to proceed. Buyers need to do the same thing with their sellers, or suffer the consequences. 

How, dare I ask, do you propose to vet sellers ability to proceed? Should I ask to
interview them, perhaps get their consent for a lie detector test? Vendors can say whatever they like about how motivated they are to sell, they can say they will go to rented, live with family etc. there is no way to verify that and no obligation for them to do so.

In fact the only reliable method of assessing motivation to sell with such little access to information is do they have a pulse or not! Maybe I should specify that with the EA in my new search. It’s easy with hindsight but how an earth was I know they would

mess me about for 10 months? It would be a very small pool of potential properties available to me if I limited my search to only those without an onward purchase.  

Granted after the first time they pulled out of their purchase that was the signal to act on. If we had been in the U.K. and able to view properties we would have moved on. We stayed with it because we were the other side of the Atlantic and not thrilled about making offers on properties we had not seen in person. Unlike our vendors we don’t want to waste peoples time.

Most comments on this thread have had differing opinions but on the whole very helpful and surprisingly insightful to the situation (or funny!), until now… remind me never to go for a drink with you, I couldn’t suffer the consequences… 

I always managed to find out what position the sellers were in when I bought. These are not unreasonable questions for BOTH parties to ask each other, and a seller who gets past their initial surprise realises that this means I am a serious buyer.

It seems to have worked for me, as I have never been in your unenviable position. 

You don't think I asked what situation the sellers were in? Of course I did, it is usually the first thing I ask the EA at a viewing. I got told 'They are looking to sell because they want to live near their children and grandchildren, that they are keen as they have put it off for over a year due to COVID'. 

Ok, seems reasonable, onto the viewing...

I am still puzzled how think you I had 'chosen to buy from someone who is not yet in a position to proceed'. That is only evident with the benefit of hindsight. 

"they want to live near their children and grandchildren" - that would have put me off, as it sounds like they haven't yet found anywhere that they are keen to offer on.

"they have put it off for over a year due to COVID" - translates as haven't even started looking yet.

Plus, they are looking in a different area of the country, so they may not be very quick finding somewhere, as it involves lots of travel for viewings.

Did you ask exactly where they are looking, then compare house prices in the two areas? Did you ask what they are looking for? Are they going to be able to afford a decent property in the new area? 

Most people are so polite, and take the chance that something like this will happen. 

Of course, if you had asked hard questions, that could have put these particular sellers off. 

In all honesty, if our last set of buyers had interrogated us to that degree I'd have told them to take a running jump.

I'm with the OP. He did all he reasonably could do to ensure the sellers were serious.

Which is fine if you don't mind losing a prospective sale.

The point is that you risk losing the sale if you infuriate your vendors, and you’re likely to do that by asking them intrusive questions about where and why they’re moving, and what their budget is. Even if they bit their lip and gave answers to these questions, they could say anything they wanted. What are you proposing: that you make them swear in front of a judge that they’re telling the truth? It’s a balancing act, and we have to trust the EA to play their part. It’s their job to gauge the credibility and good faith of both buyer and seller, and are much better placed than the buyer to assess the seller's bonafides. That’s what the OP did here, and it looks like the EA did his/her job. Unfortunately the vendors have (it seems) simply deceived them, or at best have turned out to be hesitant and unreliable.

The agents act for the sellers, and in that capacity they ask buyers all sorts of intrusive questions. As a buyer, you can’t rely on them. It’s not their job to help you. If they know what position the sellers are in, they may tell the buyers, but they may not even know. 

It’s a strangely one-sided situation, and it arises because the seller has hired a professional to help with the sale. The buyers mostly just choose to go along with that, perhaps afraid that they might be rejected if they grill the sellers in exactly the same way that they have been grilled themselves. 

We all know that the EA is paid by the seller but it’s too simplistic to think of their role as being on their side only. Ultimately, they want to get paid and have a successful business, and they do this by trying to bring together the right buyer with the right seller. The better the match, the better their chances of getting paid. We’ve been let down several times in the past 2 years by sellers changing their minds, and like the OP, we’ve had plenty of heart-to-heart conversations with clearly irritated and embarrassed EAs. You might even call some of them slightly conspiratorial in nature as we work out how best to revive a sale, or how best to respond to a vendor wanting a price increase (we walked away). My experience is that EAs will reveal any relevant information about the seller that will keep a good buyer on board. The only intrusive questions we’ve been asked are around ID and financial credibility once an offer's made. I can’t think what other sort of 'grilling' you mean. I think that might happen only if a buyer turns out to be hesitant or unreliable. I presume they’d also be pretty direct with a vendor who keeps changing their minds as it reflects badly on their business.

Yes, I mean questioning about finances, including the progress of any sale your purchase depends on. That’s completely normal for the estate agent to do on behalf of the seller. But, apparently I am unusual in wanting to know how someone I am buying from is placed. 

Depends what sort of info you're looking for. I have an offer in on a house at the moment and have asked the EA questions about their buying progress and have received some pretty frank answers, including being told that they recently offered £10K over asking for a house but were outbid. Obviously I wouldn't ask for (and wouldn't receive) bank statements etc but the EA wants the sale to proceed, and needs to be satisfied re the bonafides of their seller plus the bonafides of the buyer (me). At the moment, they seem to be quite happy about the financial position of both of us, and to keep buyer and seller confident about each other, a certain limited amount of information is passed between the parties to keep us on board. People's circumstances vary a lot on this forum of course, and I can see that there might be a situation where you start to have grave doubts about a seller or buyer, and you may also have a less than transparent EA to help you. But in general, I find EAs fairly helpful within reasonable limits of confidentiality.

GDB2222

brasso said:

GDB2222 said:

brasso said:

GDB2222 said:

brasso said:

lookstraightahead said:

Skiddaw1 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s annoying but house prices have risen in the last ten months by around 10% so something that was valued at £464k in April 2021 is probably worth closely to £500k now. So I can sort of see why they want more money. 

Look at it this way, if the housing market had crashes in the last 10 months I assume you would want to renegotiate now and offer less. I think you need to treat this purely as a financial business transaction and take the emotion out of it. 

I would be tempted to get HSBC to value it again and see if they now think it’s worth more than £464k

Don't agree with this I think it would be valued at less if anything.

And I wouldn't buy from them either , because they're likely to wait another ten months.

so from a financial transaction perspective, they're a waste of time money and effort. From a moral perspective, they're not someone I would now choose to buy from (just wouldn't rest easy with me).

Why would this house be the one house that loses value in the last 10 months? That goes against what is seen in the current housing market. 

Not seen by me. Not seen by lots of people in fact. We don't have the last ten months up to date data as it's always behind. 

Can you imagine every vendor doing this - making people wait ten months to increase the price. Anyway, op seems very level headed.

Nobody made the OP wait. He chose to buy from someone who was not yet in a position to proceed. 

When people make offers, the agents vet them and make sure that they are in a position to proceed. Buyers need to do the same thing with their sellers, or suffer the consequences. 

How, dare I ask, do you propose to vet sellers ability to proceed? Should I ask to
interview them, perhaps get their consent for a lie detector test? Vendors can say whatever they like about how motivated they are to sell, they can say they will go to rented, live with family etc. there is no way to verify that and no obligation for them to do so.

In fact the only reliable method of assessing motivation to sell with such little access to information is do they have a pulse or not! Maybe I should specify that with the EA in my new search. It’s easy with hindsight but how an earth was I know they would

mess me about for 10 months? It would be a very small pool of potential properties available to me if I limited my search to only those without an onward purchase.  

Granted after the first time they pulled out of their purchase that was the signal to act on. If we had been in the U.K. and able to view properties we would have moved on. We stayed with it because we were the other side of the Atlantic and not thrilled about making offers on properties we had not seen in person. Unlike our vendors we don’t want to waste peoples time.

Most comments on this thread have had differing opinions but on the whole very helpful and surprisingly insightful to the situation (or funny!), until now… remind me never to go for a drink with you, I couldn’t suffer the consequences… 

I always managed to find out what position the sellers were in when I bought. These are not unreasonable questions for BOTH parties to ask each other, and a seller who gets past their initial surprise realises that this means I am a serious buyer.

It seems to have worked for me, as I have never been in your unenviable position. 

You don't think I asked what situation the sellers were in? Of course I did, it is usually the first thing I ask the EA at a viewing. I got told 'They are looking to sell because they want to live near their children and grandchildren, that they are keen as they have put it off for over a year due to COVID'. 

Ok, seems reasonable, onto the viewing...

I am still puzzled how think you I had 'chosen to buy from someone who is not yet in a position to proceed'. That is only evident with the benefit of hindsight. 

"they want to live near their children and grandchildren" - that would have put me off, as it sounds like they haven't yet found anywhere that they are keen to offer on.

"they have put it off for over a year due to COVID" - translates as haven't even started looking yet.

Plus, they are looking in a different area of the country, so they may not be very quick finding somewhere, as it involves lots of travel for viewings.

Did you ask exactly where they are looking, then compare house prices in the two areas? Did you ask what they are looking for? Are they going to be able to afford a decent property in the new area? 

Most people are so polite, and take the chance that something like this will happen. 

Of course, if you had asked hard questions, that could have put these particular sellers off. 

In all honesty, if our last set of buyers had interrogated us to that degree I'd have told them to take a running jump.

I'm with the OP. He did all he reasonably could do to ensure the sellers were serious.

Which is fine if you don't mind losing a prospective sale.

The point is that you risk losing the sale if you infuriate your vendors, and you’re likely to do that by asking them intrusive questions about where and why they’re moving, and what their budget is. Even if they bit their lip and gave answers to these questions, they could say anything they wanted. What are you proposing: that you make them swear in front of a judge that they’re telling the truth? It’s a balancing act, and we have to trust the EA to play their part. It’s their job to gauge the credibility and good faith of both buyer and seller, and are much better placed than the buyer to assess the seller's bonafides. That’s what the OP did here, and it looks like the EA did his/her job. Unfortunately the vendors have (it seems) simply deceived them, or at best have turned out to be hesitant and unreliable.

The agents act for the sellers, and in that capacity they ask buyers all sorts of intrusive questions. As a buyer, you can’t rely on them. It’s not their job to help you. If they know what position the sellers are in, they may tell the buyers, but they may not even know. 

It’s a strangely one-sided situation, and it arises because the seller has hired a professional to help with the sale. The buyers mostly just choose to go along with that, perhaps afraid that they might be rejected if they grill the sellers in exactly the same way that they have been grilled themselves. 

We all know that the EA is paid by the seller but it’s too simplistic to think of their role as being on their side only. Ultimately, they want to get paid and have a successful business, and they do this by trying to bring together the right buyer with the right seller. The better the match, the better their chances of getting paid. We’ve been let down several times in the past 2 years by sellers changing their minds, and like the OP, we’ve had plenty of heart-to-heart conversations with clearly irritated and embarrassed EAs. You might even call some of them slightly conspiratorial in nature as we work out how best to revive a sale, or how best to respond to a vendor wanting a price increase (we walked away). My experience is that EAs will reveal any relevant information about the seller that will keep a good buyer on board. The only intrusive questions we’ve been asked are around ID and financial credibility once an offer's made. I can’t think what other sort of 'grilling' you mean. I think that might happen only if a buyer turns out to be hesitant or unreliable. I presume they’d also be pretty direct with a vendor who keeps changing their minds as it reflects badly on their business.

Yes, I mean questioning about finances, including the progress of any sale your purchase depends on. That’s completely normal for the estate agent to do on behalf of the seller. But, apparently I am unusual in wanting to know how someone I am buying from is placed. 

Depends what sort of info you're looking for. I have an offer in on a house at the moment and have asked the EA questions about their buying progress and have received some pretty frank answers, including being told that they recently offered £10K over asking for a house but were outbid. Obviously I wouldn't ask for (and wouldn't receive) bank statements etc but the EA wants the sale to proceed, and needs to be satisfied re the bonafides of their seller plus the bonafides of the buyer (me). At the moment, they seem to be quite happy about the financial position of both of us, and to keep buyer and seller confident about each other, a certain limited amount of information is passed between the parties to keep us on board. People's circumstances vary a lot on this forum of course, and I can see that there might be a situation where you start to have grave doubts about a seller or buyer, and you may also have a less than transparent EA to help you. But in general, I find EAs fairly helpful within reasonable limits of confidentiality.

The thing is, though, the EA wants to keep you on board as a buyer.  So, he's unlikely to tell you that the seller is quite hopelessly unrealistic, and you'd be best to look elsewhere. Maybe, some EAs are more frank than others, though. 

brasso

GDB2222 said:

brasso said:

GDB2222 said:

brasso said:

GDB2222 said:

brasso said:

lookstraightahead said:

Skiddaw1 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

BV88 said:

GDB2222 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

lookstraightahead said:

JReacher1 said:

It’s annoying but house prices have risen in the last ten months by around 10% so something that was valued at £464k in April 2021 is probably worth closely to £500k now. So I can sort of see why they want more money. 

Look at it this way, if the housing market had crashes in the last 10 months I assume you would want to renegotiate now and offer less. I think you need to treat this purely as a financial business transaction and take the emotion out of it. 

I would be tempted to get HSBC to value it again and see if they now think it’s worth more than £464k

Don't agree with this I think it would be valued at less if anything.

And I wouldn't buy from them either , because they're likely to wait another ten months.

so from a financial transaction perspective, they're a waste of time money and effort. From a moral perspective, they're not someone I would now choose to buy from (just wouldn't rest easy with me).

Why would this house be the one house that loses value in the last 10 months? That goes against what is seen in the current housing market. 

Not seen by me. Not seen by lots of people in fact. We don't have the last ten months up to date data as it's always behind. 

Can you imagine every vendor doing this - making people wait ten months to increase the price. Anyway, op seems very level headed.

Nobody made the OP wait. He chose to buy from someone who was not yet in a position to proceed. 

When people make offers, the agents vet them and make sure that they are in a position to proceed. Buyers need to do the same thing with their sellers, or suffer the consequences. 

How, dare I ask, do you propose to vet sellers ability to proceed? Should I ask to
interview them, perhaps get their consent for a lie detector test? Vendors can say whatever they like about how motivated they are to sell, they can say they will go to rented, live with family etc. there is no way to verify that and no obligation for them to do so.

In fact the only reliable method of assessing motivation to sell with such little access to information is do they have a pulse or not! Maybe I should specify that with the EA in my new search. It’s easy with hindsight but how an earth was I know they would

mess me about for 10 months? It would be a very small pool of potential properties available to me if I limited my search to only those without an onward purchase.  

Granted after the first time they pulled out of their purchase that was the signal to act on. If we had been in the U.K. and able to view properties we would have moved on. We stayed with it because we were the other side of the Atlantic and not thrilled about making offers on properties we had not seen in person. Unlike our vendors we don’t want to waste peoples time.

Most comments on this thread have had differing opinions but on the whole very helpful and surprisingly insightful to the situation (or funny!), until now… remind me never to go for a drink with you, I couldn’t suffer the consequences… 

I always managed to find out what position the sellers were in when I bought. These are not unreasonable questions for BOTH parties to ask each other, and a seller who gets past their initial surprise realises that this means I am a serious buyer.

It seems to have worked for me, as I have never been in your unenviable position. 

You don't think I asked what situation the sellers were in? Of course I did, it is usually the first thing I ask the EA at a viewing. I got told 'They are looking to sell because they want to live near their children and grandchildren, that they are keen as they have put it off for over a year due to COVID'. 

Ok, seems reasonable, onto the viewing...

I am still puzzled how think you I had 'chosen to buy from someone who is not yet in a position to proceed'. That is only evident with the benefit of hindsight. 

"they want to live near their children and grandchildren" - that would have put me off, as it sounds like they haven't yet found anywhere that they are keen to offer on.

"they have put it off for over a year due to COVID" - translates as haven't even started looking yet.

Plus, they are looking in a different area of the country, so they may not be very quick finding somewhere, as it involves lots of travel for viewings.

Did you ask exactly where they are looking, then compare house prices in the two areas? Did you ask what they are looking for? Are they going to be able to afford a decent property in the new area? 

Most people are so polite, and take the chance that something like this will happen. 

Of course, if you had asked hard questions, that could have put these particular sellers off. 

In all honesty, if our last set of buyers had interrogated us to that degree I'd have told them to take a running jump.

I'm with the OP. He did all he reasonably could do to ensure the sellers were serious.

Which is fine if you don't mind losing a prospective sale.

The point is that you risk losing the sale if you infuriate your vendors, and you’re likely to do that by asking them intrusive questions about where and why they’re moving, and what their budget is. Even if they bit their lip and gave answers to these questions, they could say anything they wanted. What are you proposing: that you make them swear in front of a judge that they’re telling the truth? It’s a balancing act, and we have to trust the EA to play their part. It’s their job to gauge the credibility and good faith of both buyer and seller, and are much better placed than the buyer to assess the seller's bonafides. That’s what the OP did here, and it looks like the EA did his/her job. Unfortunately the vendors have (it seems) simply deceived them, or at best have turned out to be hesitant and unreliable.

The agents act for the sellers, and in that capacity they ask buyers all sorts of intrusive questions. As a buyer, you can’t rely on them. It’s not their job to help you. If they know what position the sellers are in, they may tell the buyers, but they may not even know. 

It’s a strangely one-sided situation, and it arises because the seller has hired a professional to help with the sale. The buyers mostly just choose to go along with that, perhaps afraid that they might be rejected if they grill the sellers in exactly the same way that they have been grilled themselves. 

We all know that the EA is paid by the seller but it’s too simplistic to think of their role as being on their side only. Ultimately, they want to get paid and have a successful business, and they do this by trying to bring together the right buyer with the right seller. The better the match, the better their chances of getting paid. We’ve been let down several times in the past 2 years by sellers changing their minds, and like the OP, we’ve had plenty of heart-to-heart conversations with clearly irritated and embarrassed EAs. You might even call some of them slightly conspiratorial in nature as we work out how best to revive a sale, or how best to respond to a vendor wanting a price increase (we walked away). My experience is that EAs will reveal any relevant information about the seller that will keep a good buyer on board. The only intrusive questions we’ve been asked are around ID and financial credibility once an offer's made. I can’t think what other sort of 'grilling' you mean. I think that might happen only if a buyer turns out to be hesitant or unreliable. I presume they’d also be pretty direct with a vendor who keeps changing their minds as it reflects badly on their business.

Yes, I mean questioning about finances, including the progress of any sale your purchase depends on. That’s completely normal for the estate agent to do on behalf of the seller. But, apparently I am unusual in wanting to know how someone I am buying from is placed. 

Depends what sort of info you're looking for. I have an offer in on a house at the moment and have asked the EA questions about their buying progress and have received some pretty frank answers, including being told that they recently offered £10K over asking for a house but were outbid. Obviously I wouldn't ask for (and wouldn't receive) bank statements etc but the EA wants the sale to proceed, and needs to be satisfied re the bonafides of their seller plus the bonafides of the buyer (me). At the moment, they seem to be quite happy about the financial position of both of us, and to keep buyer and seller confident about each other, a certain limited amount of information is passed between the parties to keep us on board. People's circumstances vary a lot on this forum of course, and I can see that there might be a situation where you start to have grave doubts about a seller or buyer, and you may also have a less than transparent EA to help you. But in general, I find EAs fairly helpful within reasonable limits of confidentiality.

The thing is, though, the EA wants to keep you on board as a buyer.  So, he's unlikely to tell you that the seller is quite hopelessly unrealistic, and you'd be best to look elsewhere. Maybe, some EAs are more frank than others, though. 

That's not the situation here. The seller is keen to move and although they are looking to buy, have agreed to exchange ASAP but to have an extended completion date (subject to our agreement) to give them a bit more time to find what they want. We're OK with this as we're in no hurry to move but would like the exchange done soon so that we have some certainty that it will take place. If they've still not found a place within a month or so, they have agreed to move to rental. I only have their word for this but as stated, the EA seems to have been quite transparent and kept us up to date with developments.