Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my gran for a new birthday cheque?

Flipflop13

I’ve had this on several occasions as both my nana and aunt have issues writing cheques. The wedding/new baby gift my nana gave us for £4000 the bank wouldn’t accept because the signature didn’t match the one they held for her, she’s 94 now so signing things isn’t easy for her. Another my aunt gave me she put in my married name but I hadn’t changed my name on my bank (and didn’t intend taking my husband’s name) so they wouldn’t take that either. I left them for weeks until I plucked up the courage, they were really apologetic and no one was embarrassed at all. I wish I’d mentioned it sooner rather than fretting for so long!

peterbooties

Just ask her to change your name on the existing cheque and initial the change.

Poorexgirlfriend192

Leave it. And give her a big hug and a bunch of flowers instead for being such a kind nana

elsien

It all just seems a bit patronising to me - don’t mention it unless she notices; tell her she needs the money more than you; getting parents to talk to her instead, etc.

Lets just presume grandmother has the majority of her marbles, knows perfectly well if she can afford the gift, wants to give it, so talk to her to give her the chance to do just that.

Everything else is just age related bias, given that the OP doesn’t give any other relevant information. I’ve written cheques in the wrong name before now. Doesn’t  mean people should be tiptoeing round me. 

SteveSi

My mother had vascular dementia and she would get quite distressed whenever she would do something wrong/silly/forgetful because it made her even more aware about her seriously deteriorating health (+pride, independence, etc.). So I can understand why the OP may be reluctant to cause any unnecessary distress.

Katecooks

 If you can't explain to her that your bank won't cash your cheque because the name doesn't match the bank details you clearly need to work on your relationship with your gran. Take the cheque to her, explain and ask her to correct the name and initial it (or write a new one and tear up the original in front of her). Man or woman up!

marylou2121

As someone said before, cross out the wrong name, or add to it, and initial it.  Never had a problem with doing this. 

peterjames5

If she deffo needs the money more than you then leave it. 

Worse case, she asks why you've not cashed. You answer honestly and say you felt bad to ask. She says don't be silly and writes you another cheque. 

efsl

As a granny who's been on the other end of a slightly similar story - please just kindly explain what's happened and she'll happily write a new cheque. I'd be mortified if my senior moment had deprived my grandson of what I really wanted him to have, and could have felt slightly miffed if he hadn't been straight with me.

ginger_chocolate

Andrea9876 said:

Is Gran your mum's mum or your dad's? I would get them to mention it. 

This is what I'd do too.