Mortgage free in Forever Home :-)

f0xh0les

Oh my God that is horrific. That poor poor girl.  And then to be induced and forced to push knowing it is all for nothing. That level of cruelty is just plain wrong. 
There really is nothing you can say or do. Just let her know if she ever wants to talk, you are there.  Same goes for him, he is grieving for his child, and terrified his wife's sanity, and his own, and he is supposed to be being 'the man' in all of this. 

PennysIntoPounds

What a horrible, horrible thing to occur. My sympathies to her and all touched by it.
No wonder you're feeling particularly out of sorts with that going on in the background, make sure to make dedicated time for unwinding for you 

dawnybabes

How horrible for them all, at this stage they would have got everything ready.  Heartbreaking. 

AI gave me this ……

+5

Support after a stillbirth or neonatal death is available through various organizations and resources. The Sands charity offers a free helpline and other services for those affected by baby loss, including a mobile app and online community. Tommy's org provides expert midwives who can support parents with any aspect of pregnancy loss. Additionally, organizations like Lily Mae Foundation offer specialized support for professionals and parents. 

Specific support options include: 

• Helplines: Sands offers a free helpline on 0808 164 3332, while Tommy's provides a helpline on 0800 0147 800. 

Counselling: Petals Charity and Teddy's Wish offer free counselling services to parents. 

Practical and emotional support: Bliss charity offers a range of practical and emotional support services, including support for siblings. Local support groups: Sands has a network of regional support groups across the UK. Information and resources: Tommy's provides information on pregnancy loss and pregnancy after loss. Support for professionals: The Lily Mae Foundation offers ongoing training and support for healthcare professionals. 

Brie

Don't forget that she quite likely is still eligible for some version of maternity leave and her OH for pat leave.  But SANDS will know all the details.  This should then apply to any work leave too though obviously some employers can be absolutely oblivious to how traumatic this might be to someone.  (long ago and far away in a moderately similar situation I was told my time off to recover wasn't sick leave but coming off my holiday entitlement.)

And I quite get that a vaginal delivery might seem cruel but normally it would be less traumatic on the body than a C section.  Obviously the fact that she got sepsis shows that something was dreadfully wrong and perhaps a C section might have been better for her.  Very hard to judge these things.  

KajiKita

Thanks @beanielou, @skint_spice, @Watty1, @f0xh0les, @PennysIntoPounds, @dawnybabes and @Brie, you are all very kind ❤️

I still disagree with the vaginal delivery - with a ruptured placenta surely there is already a risk of cross contamination to the mother’s blood system - why put extra strain on it with waiting so long for a standard delivery …? To me it’s about minimising the harm to the mother at that point and she was already booked for a C section. Anyway, speculating here changes nothing. 

Thank you so much to Dawnybabes and Brie for all the advice and suggestions. I will incorporate all of those. Very much appreciated. 

KK

greenbee

A colleague of mine went through something very similar (thankfully without the sepsis), and later said that as her other births were caesareans, the vaginal birth was actually a positive part of the still birth. She was also able to take her full maternity leave, which she very much needed. 

KajiKita

Been a strange couple of days - very bleak and miserable yesterday morning, gradually improved through the day - I beat back the bindweed in the veggie patch so I could ‘play’ today. Mr KK came home last night which helped as well. 

Today, I have:
- Rung my mother and asked her what she wants for her birthday. 

- Finally sent her links to the websites for my new employer - she always wants these. Feels a bit stalkery to me but she asked again today, so that is now done. 

- Potted up my saved from last year geraniums for the deck and all my begonias for the courtyard 😊
- Made a batch of mushroom and Brazil nut loaf for dinner tonight and the freezer. Used thyme from my garden for it 😊
- Sewed up the waist of my work trousers as it keeps rolling when I wear it.
- Ordered Mr KK a metal dustpan and he was wistfully saying he’d really like one … 😉
- The action that precipitated this wistfulness was me sweeping up the mess I made in the steps planting my pots and the mess the useless renderer left (yes, we are STILL finding his mess! 🙄) and borrowing Mr KK’s very battered and patched with gaffer tape plastic dustpan for these two jobs …
- Ordered the new cutlery drawer insert for the kitchen after consultation with Mr KK
- Wrangled two loads of washing for Mr KK (whilst he beat back the ferns and de-gunked the bottom pond) - all dried outside on the line
- Ate rather a lot of chocolate … 😉
- Counterbalanced by 12K steps - a lot for a Sunday! 😊

Its been a good day 😊

KK

KajiKita

greenbee said:

A colleague of mine went through something very similar (thankfully without the sepsis), and later said that as her other births were caesareans, the vaginal birth was actually a positive part of the still birth. She was also able to take her full maternity leave, which she very much needed. 

An interesting perspective Greenbee, thank you x

KK

beanielou

I have also eaten a lot of chocolate today. 

KajiKita

beanielou said:

I have also eaten a lot of chocolate today. 

Chocolate twins! 😉😊❤️
Mine was dark orange chocolate 🍫 🍊 

KK