Mortgage free in Forever Home :-)

savingholmes

I think our confidence gets knocked by some employers and it takes a while to recover. I've experienced that too. You will get to the other side.

LadyWithAPlan

KajiKita said:

Mr KK’s mother still hasn’t opened the box of Black Magic he gave her for Christmas because ‘I’m scared I’ll start eating them all and I won’t be able to stop and it will set off my diabetes’ … Mr KK is bemused and frustrated by this! 😂🤷‍♀️ He offered to take them home with him and then take her three of them per week when he goes over. ‘Oh, that’s a bit mean!’ was the response to that …. 🙄😂😂😂😂 Bizarre. 

Time to go and change my bed linen and have a nice warm shower … 😊

KK

Loving this   You'd have to wrestle a box of Black Magic out my cold dead hands

Glad you settling in at work

WelshmansDaughter

It does sound like your last job made you a tad hyper vigilant maybe. When you describe your days off you sound like you enjoy them for what they are and not just as respite from a horrible situation 

KajiKita

Thanks @savingholmes, @WelshmansDaughter. I had a horrendous night on Friday - awake for a couple of hours with anxiety storming through my head whilst utterly shattered … Ugh! 

I have been sitting with it and wondering about counselling. Not sure it would help much though - I know what the cause is (both in my immediate past, through previous bosses and into my childhood) and I know what my response is, so how would counselling add to that, and it feels like a whole extra layer of admin and effort I can’t face atm. I did use an old technique I learned years ago to ‘melt’ my immediate response to it, which might have helped, as I slept well last night. The 10.8K steps and an hour in the garden might have been part of that though 😉 In all seriousness, I’m going to keep using the ‘melt’ technique to dial down my responses (I can feel them coming in during my work days), which in all honesty are quite PTSDy. I’m a bit of a mess aren’t I …? 🤷‍♀️😉

Lost patience with Plum last night (I hate their App) and started the process of withdrawing my funds with some help from the boards and quite a bit of chat with the Plum bot. I want the money where I can easily move it around so I can make a start on the mortgage OP and the pension top up. 

Other than that it was a nice day yesterday. Mr KK and I swopped dreaded chores - I went to town to collect a parcel for him and buy him a 2025 diary for tracking his work tasks (his timesheets have to have a full break down as his work gets assigned to separately costed projects, even though he’s working for the same place) and a new hardback, lined, A4 notebook for documenting his tax records for the accountant, whilst he washed his van. When I got back, he washed my poor salty car! Hero 🤩 I’d have spent money driving down to town anyway for the car wash but it saved me the £8 actually getting it done. I also picked up another two bottles of screen wash as it has become very scarce locally. 

Made a start on my garden work station in the conservatory and had a conversation with Mr KK about having a corner in the DIY shed for my big trug of garden hand tools, as it lives in the conservatory atm. The shed is at the top of the veggie patch so as close at hand as the conservatory. He was up for this but needs to tidy the shed first! 😂

I have ordered a shoes ‘tray’ to see if that will limit the amount of grit and mud that spreads from my gardening footwear through the conservatory, as that is our back door and I change my feet when I come in. 

Lots of tapestry-ing - I have reached the first edge … 😊 And spot my new needle saver 😉



KK

KajiKita

Oh I forgot to mention …. During my hour in the garden I made a start on clearing the ground under the pine that I want to make ‘Ma’ (empty space) … and promptly snapped my garden fork! 😳😢 Gah … Now I need a new handle but probably a new fork as well … Sigh …

It is already starting to look better though 😊

KK

ladybird1106

Gardening is always good for the soul
love 🐞

KajiKita

And another thing … 😂

Made pizza dough from scratch last night. Easily and without drama. The end result pizzas were lovely. I think I can comfortably say that I ‘make pizzas from scratch’ now 😊 #proud … 🤩
Two portions of dough went in the freezer, but I now need more bread flour! 😊

KK

WelshmansDaughter

I think the benefit of counselling comes from expressing things you already know. In your own head they have an extra dimension of anxiety that comes from questioning them. Which in turn strengthens them. Letting them out in counselling has a dilution effect

f0xh0les

KajiKita said:

And another thing … 😂
I can comfortably say that I ‘make pizzas from scratch’ now 😊 #proud … 🤩

🎉 Proper hardcore oldstyle money saving life skill ♥️. Well done.

ladybird1106

You’ll never see or taste shop bought pizza the same way after making them from scratch.
love 🐞