Mortgage free in Forever Home :-)

KajiKita

Thanks @MFWannabe, @SandyShores (I’m sorry that you didn’t get chance for a break after that job), @teapot2 yes that’s the one! 😊
@redofromstart, I think it’s Brussels sprouts that need frost to make them taste sweeter? I think the sugar acts as a kind of anti freeze for the plant. I will read up on cauli in the air fryer 😊

@LadyWithAPlan, I think there is more unpacking going on than just the last job, tbh. 

My dad sent me this very last thing, last night:



This copper beech was part of my life from childhood, I used to climb it, play under it etc. 
I know from bitter, bitter experience, that my mother will not be reacting well to this - there will be barely contained, completely irrational RAGE and distress. I am a bit worried for both my father (who is still working very full time at the age of 84 and will have to deal with it all) so have sent him a long email this morning about possible options …. (Stump carving, stump removal, replanting, storage of the timber for use in something to be made from it etc) 

In imagining all this, just as I went to bed, I think it triggered something deep in my childhood as I had the nightmare that I had every single night for c. 4 years? (I never told anyone about that nightmare at the time, though it was waking me pretty much every night. Eventually I was able, through my shamanic training to ‘lucid dream’ to a different ending, but not this morning.) 

<Trigger warning for violence / horror>

Basically a girl is murdered in a car, under my bedroom window (that’s where the road runs), and her body is thrown over the wall. I am alone in the house and go down in the pitch black and the rain to see if I can help. I can’t see properly but I am reaching for her when I realise she has been decapitated. This is typically when I wake up, if I don’t the body starts to move … then I wake up.
I had that ^^^ dream again this morning. 

Ugh …..

KK 

Humdinger1

@KajiKita I know from experience that unresolved trauma comes back at times of stress.  You've done so much work on yourself with notable success; I'm not a shaman or psychologist but it could be worth getting some external help on this? So sad that you had this dream for four years and weren't able to talk about it at the time. Well done for the colossal journey you've been on.  You're quite right to put a barrier between yourself and your mother.   Love Humdinger xx 

KajiKita

Humdinger1 said:

@KajiKita I know from experience that unresolved trauma comes back at times of stress.  You've done so much work on yourself with notable success; I'm not a shaman or psychologist but it could be worth getting some external help on this? So sad that you had this dream for four years and weren't able to talk about it at the time. Well done for the colossal journey you've been on.  You're quite right to put a barrier between yourself and your mother.   Love Humdinger xx 

Thank you x
I wondered this too, but it will cost and atm I would rather not spend that money …. (I want to eke out the settlement monies for as long as possible, just in case). I will monitor and reconsider if that dream starts becoming more ‘present’ again. 

KK

beanielou

I think money spent on yourself in this way is never wasted. I would want to nip it in the bud before it got a hold. 

Brie

Roses - because of haphazard pruning of the large rose arch (20 feet long) that is covered with 2 different roses one has continue to flower the entire summer and is still doing nicely.  So the one is a climber (tiddly yellow flowers) and the other (still blooming red) is a rambler I think.  And there's still whole nations of birds living in there so I don't know when it will get pruned.  Maybe December.  Lightly.

Triggering dreams - when I was young there was an accident in the nearby Niagara River where a chap in a boat with 2 young friends started drifting towards the falls after the engine had failed.  He gave his life preserver to the 6 year old boy so he had 2 (about my age at the time) and his teenage sister had one.  The boat dumped above the falls and all 3 went into the rushing water.  The sister (18 yo?) managed to get close to the shore and someone grabbed her thumb (!) and pulled her to safety but her brother, chap and boat went over the falls.  (350+? feet drop).  The boy lived as he was small and 2 life preservers on which basically cast him out far enough that he landed in the foam at the bottom of the falls.  The chap died and the boat was destroyed.     So my dream was that I was the sister (being female) and that I get caught just at the edge of the falls like she did.  And then slip from the person's grasp and start to go over the falls.  And then I'd wake up.  Until the time I didn't and I fell and could see myself smashing into the rocks at the bottom and die.  And I've never had the dream since.  The brain is weird.

KajiKita

beanielou said:

I think money spent on yourself in this way is never wasted. I would want to nip it in the bud before it got a hold. 

I will see how I am tonight. If it starts up again I will contact the therapist I saw before, I promise. Thank you for your care ❤️

@Brie I am keeping a close eye on the roses and will bring them in if it looks like they might open! 😊
That event and dream must have truly awful for you and the whole community….

KK

KajiKita

Well what a day … I had an instinct that it ‘would kick off’ once I pressed Go on looking for a job and did it ever ….

- Did the green circle with supporting post on LI 
- Immediate slew of likes, shares, supportive comments and people PMing me to ask what had happened….
- also two obviously AI based responses from two people who were trying to sell me a review of my CV, got me to send it to them and then told me why it wouldn’t get me a job … 🙄 (in the midst of fielding phone calls from genuinely interested recruiters). It’s so mean - they deliberately behave initially like they are recruiters, have appropriate job titles on their profiles etc and then they tell you that your CV is junk and they can help you fix it by referring you to a CV reviewer. I had a feeling that’s what they were (the AI-ness of the conversation dropped that to me, plus they were sooo pushy in demanding responses from me). They could really damage someone fragile or less worldly … Blimey I sound world weary! 😉😂
- Updated my CV on Whatsit Library and I unhid my profile 
- phone calls from 3 serious recruiters, phone call from someone obviously very young to get me set up with his agency, two emails from recruiters 
- message, email and phone call with a recruiter who placed me before and is horrifically pushy with those doing the recruiting, but it’s about reach isn’t it? 😉

All of the above all happened more or less overlappingly over the space of three or four hours … 😳😂

I have a call with one recruiter tomorrow and another the day after. My CV has been submitted to two other possible employers. 

Not a bad start. It should calm down a bit after this. It always starts nuts, which is why I waited for a bit, and then tails off 😊

Bought myself a new pruning saw. Spent more than I wanted really, as they only had an expensive brand, but my word … WHAT a difference! First clump of Hazel excised! 💪👏🤩❤️😊
Planted up the two final pots with tulips, crocus and viola 😊

A good day 😊

KK

Cheery_Daff

Goodness me, that's a lot of activity for one day!! Sorry about the AI bot nonsense. Fingers crossed this all leads to something good!

beanielou

If you say it's a good day then that's good.

PennysIntoPounds

Super productive, go KK! *waves pompoms*