Mortgage free in Forever Home :-)

greenbee

Lots of good advice - but yes, you should be somewhere you are appreciated and enjoy your job. You shouldn't be miserable. I find my job frustrating, depressing and stressful at times, and my boss's last idea has me and a colleague threatening to book ourselves into a psychatric unit for a month... but on balance I know I'm better off there than anywhere else right now (and I also have days where it's exciting, rewarding, and energising so it balances out - nothing is perfect). 

If you can negotiate gardening leave/PILON then take the time to work out what you want from the next job. And what you need. 

South_coast

TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN!!!

When I was made redundant, after being the only person not furloughed during Covid, after making myself ill with all the extra hours/stress/lack of sleep/alcohol consumption, and after making it through a performance management process because my face clearly didn't fit any more, I felt....relief (although I did channel "angry" long enough to successfully argue for more money 😀). I clearly would never have gone of my own accord, so having someone else make the decision for me was the absolute best thing that could have happened 👍

Humdinger1

Yes do take the money and run @KajiKita! See those hills? Start now...that's my view.   They do NOT deserve you.  You are worth so much more; you'll get it; and they'll soon rue the day as they drown in mess entirely of their own making.  You are fab.  Love Humdinger xx 

SandyShores

Sorry to hear this news Kajikita, but agree with the others.  You'll get through this. xx

beanielou

So very sorry to read this.  You gave your heart & soul to this job.  It's their loss.  So horrid that one person can do this.  Sending you love.

LadyWithAPlan

Cheery_Daff said:

Big hugs, that sounds like a difficult thing to deal with, even if you don't trust the judgement of the people giving it. I too would take the money and run, leaving rotten fish behind all the radiators 😠 What utter fiends. You are NOT an imposter - I imagine you're standing in the way of whatever outrageous nonsense they want to peddle next 😠 Leave them to stew in their own mess, hold your head up, and move on to brighter and better things. 

I'm relieved with Mr KK though - you've been tired and fed up for too long, working inside out to please people who were clearly never going to be pleased whatever you did. F*ck 'em. You are better than they are! 

Have a cry, tart up your CV, Marshall all the good MSE resources you've gathered over the years to get you through leaner times for a while, and find yourself something more cheerful.

Lots of love xxx

This is all v wise advice. Take the time to breath, start seeing what else you want, ensure a reference  as good as you can get it  - ideally from anyone but him...

Sorry also for you having gone thru all this stress- he will have a Pyrrhic victory,  I am sure you will leave a huge gap at work and it will highlight his own pettiness and shortcomings and his job will be made much more difficult.

KajiKita

Thanks @redofromstart, @Cheery_Daff, @Brie, @greenbee, @South_coast, @Humdinger1, @SandyShores, @beanielou, @LadyWithAPlan, your support for and faith in me means a huge amount. 

I have a heavy head cold - unsurprisingly after all the bugs flying round the office and three nights of scrappy sleep meaning my immune system has dipped. Managed to get an extra two hours last night by not setting my alarm and sleeping in until 7am (Little Cats were in a state of desperation - breakfast is meant to be at 5.45 don’t you know! 😉). Feel a bit better in myself apart from the head ….

I am slowly digesting all this. Thoughts atm ….
- I was the right person when he recruited me but what he wants and what the business is doing now / the pressures it is under, has changed so he’s right that I am not the right person for that
- I am getting old (53, 54 next month, will I be able to get another well paying job ….?) *Is it* me who is the problem here ….? (Etc.)
- I need to know what the minimum we need me to earn is after new mortgage and energy costs so I should sit down and work that out today.
- I need to collate / gather all the achievements that I have before I leave as it gets so much harder after you have left a job to remember what you’ve done. 
- I need to gather contacts for references (thanks for that one LWAP)
- I am wandering round the house looking at jobs that need doing that it would be lovely to finally get finished! If I get some time to myself between roles. I haven’t even looked at the garden yet! 😉

- The raging, ‘eat everything, all the time’ urge has stopped dead! If it does start to surface it is easily satisfied with just a few nuts or baby tomatoes rather than 3 packets of crisps back to back …. (That tells me a lot I think.) 
- I have more people that care about me and what happens to me now than I did the last time I lost my job. One one level this shouldn’t logically make any difference, but actually I find it does. 

Steps for today then:
- work out minimum I need to earn with new mortgage and energy payments and being realistic about including critical but expensive health supplements 
- make a list of who to approach, quietly, about being referees for me
- make a list of what I want to get done for me in work, as it will get so ‘noisy’ once I am back there that there is a risk it will be forgotten 
- not think about it too much more and get plenty done in home and garden so I feel like I am still moving forward in some constructive way

Thanks for reading,

KK x

South_coast

That sounds like an excellent and actionable plan for today 👍 But please stop telling yourself 53/54 is old! 

KajiKita

South_coast said:

That sounds like an excellent and actionable plan for today 👍 But please stop telling yourself 53/54 is old! 

Only in terms of being able to get another job …. Not in life! 😊

KK

f0xh0les

South_coast said:

That sounds like an excellent and actionable plan for today 👍 But please stop telling yourself 53/54 is old! 

Yeah!!!  What South_coast said!!! 

And let it be known ( obviously not to Col. Colon) you would be willing to come back in a consulting role on any future projects .... it just keeps you in their minds if the situation ever comes up. 
So sorry this has happened. What a  total Colon he really is.