My 2 year battle to try to keep our home

Tiredbutdetermined

Karonher said:

I can't add anything useful about solicitors, but wondered are there things you could sell? It could be things the ex wasted money on or just general items the children don't use anymore

I need to have a good poke about. There is nothing obvious. I gave the ex all the camping stuff and garage bits.

binao

Tiredbutdetermined said:  

Edited

I have clearscore but signed up for the free Experian to try to get some money back from an app. It is infuriating that my clearscore rating is 1000/1000 and my Experian is 999/999. If my credit rating is so blinking marvellous why can’t I get a mortgage? 

Regrettably mortgage  providers are not interested in your  score, or  even receive it.

They have their own credit criteria selection using the Information held by Experian etc.

Good luck+

savingholmes

It sounds like your sticking point is the lack of equity with getting a mortgage. Have you managed to stop increasing debt and have it go in the right direction? You have a good income - I appreciate you have solicitor bills at the moment - but I would try and get the form E buttoned down as soon as possible and get a finance consent order in place so you can then save towards your deposit without worrying you would have to share it.

With the solicitor - every email you send costs you around £25 - then they respond £25 - and then if you respond when you needn't have or worse miss responding and they chase you - that's another £50 and so on. It mounts up so fast. Save up your queries. Sometimes it's cheaper and more satisfying to ring. They charge in 6 minute increments so time your call and get off fast.

Tiredbutdetermined

I think I have to admit that my mental health has taken a battering over the last 8 month. The ex doing a runner, him totally messing with the kids heads and then my dad died. 

I have masses of things to do but my get up and go has got up and gone

Last night a friend messaged and asked if we want to go stay at theirs for a couple of nights. It is a 400mile round trip but I think a break would do us all good. We are going after my son’s hospital appointment and then coming back on New Years Eve. That fits perfectly so we can have New Years Eve just the 4 of us.

I have a uni assignment due in on Jan 10th so that needs some prep work today so I am ready to go fierce with it when we get back.
I need to have a look at filling in an application for DLA for my daughter.
I need to write a firm but not too ranty email to my solicitor as well as look at the form E.
I also have some work to do before we all go back to school.

Jobs for today:
Pack for our couple of days away.
Put air in my tyres.
Hope tyres don’t need replacing.
Taxi daughter and friends to go spend their Christmas money then sleepover at ours.
Fill up car with Petrol

Honeysucklelou2

Time away with friends sounds ideal...hope you have a relaxing time away 

RosaBernicia

Glad to hear you are getting some time away. 

Is it possible for you to take some time off, even as sick leave if necessary, for a mental health break? 

Tiredbutdetermined

I think I would end up worse if I took time off. I would obsess over the finances and the divorce situation (although the savings on petrol would be great!)

I have put air in my tyres using a random pound in the car. My bank balance was already rounded so a whopping PAD of £1 to the credit card.

A friend text me earlier and they moved away about 2 years ago and said her financial advisor was brilliant so I have dropped them a message to ask for some advice so I can hatch a clear plan going forward. I had asked on our local Facebook notice board just after the fudgestick ex left but was bombarded by slightly slimy types wanting to ‘help’ or sell me life insurance/wills. I feel a little better chatting to someone recommended. I have said there is no rush as I don’t think there will be anything they can do now but hopefully at some point in 2022

astrocytic_kitten

Popped in after you commented on my diary and what a nightmare you're going through... the situation with your ex and the mortgage would be stressful enough and then you casually mention losing your Dad, uni work on top of a job, DLA for your daughter on top of everything else. Honestly you're doing brilliantly to be coping with all that and still fighting. And I'm sorry your solicitor is proving useless and expensive on top of everything else.

I'm glad you're able to get away for a couple of days, hopefully being with friends for a bit will be a huge help. It might be worth asking the financial advisor if they could recommend a good divorce solicitor too. Take care!

Tiredbutdetermined

I am proud that I have taken it all as a stand up and fight rather than curl up and cry. I don’t know how long my journey will take or where I will be at the end of it but I do know I will be so much stronger, so much happier and so proud of whatever I have! 

savingholmes

I agree with astrolytic kitten. You've been through and are still going through a lot. You are doing amazing. Keep posting.

You would be better looking on unbiased than FB for IFAs... Is it an IFA you need or a decent mortgage broker? L&C are free brokers... If you choose the IFA route make sure you are clear on fees before you begin.