Money Moral Dilemma: Should I rent out my house if it means my daughter has to stay elsewhere?

IamWood

Before the rental money is collected, your daughter might not want to go home anymore anyway. Cherish the relationship when you have it. Money isn't everything if you aren't in a desperate situation.

I'm in the process of purchasing a flat and the main purpose is for my sons to live there in the future if they like.

Ramouth

I’m with others.  Your daughter needs to feel welcome and to feel like she has somewhere to go.  It was hard enough when my parents turned my room into a guest room while I was at uni - if they had moved somewhere without a room for me I would have felt totally rejected.

IamWood

Just want to share my experience if you don't mind.

My parents keep my room unchanged even when I got married and moved abroad. I was very touched by this when I visited them. They weren't obsessed with me in anyway, but they know I can always go home when I'm in trouble.

I took a couple of months off to take care of both parents before they left this world for return. I still miss them when I read this post.

greensalad

davilown said:

greensalad said:

davilown said:

Perhaps we should be a bit more like this!

Despite my other comment, this article seems horrible. Why does anyone have to be "more important" than another in a family? What's wrong with everyone being "important", or no one at all? It's not a competition. Children's desires are important and so are parents. Neither is better or "on a pedestal" more than the other. 

I think you may be missing the point. Without the parents there are no children….

Yes, obviously? Why would that mean that one person is more important than another? 

While my mother certainly never put me on a pedestal and very much lived her own life for herself, she also treated me with love and respect and didn’t expect me to constantly congratulate her on being “the most important” in the family like the article states.

Smarteric

If your property is appreciating at a greater rate than your costs then keep it as it is if you can afford it, personally I would avoid rentals unless I needed the income, if you split with your boyfriend do you have an alternative for yourself if you rent ?

Jewels44

You could, or you could airbnb your house, this would mean popping in to make sure its ok after its been rented, this would make money and not be too risky, most mortgage companies allow airbnb without fuss

TBagpuss

Talk to your daughter nd see what she thinks.

Also - would it be possible for you and your boyfriend to live in your house, and for his place to be rented out, if his is too small for you to have your daughter there

Voyager2002

Far more information is needed.

For a start, where does the daughter live for most of the year? Some universities (Oxford and Cambridge) expect students to leave their rooms in college at the end of each 8-week term so that the rooms can be used for conferences. Clearly these students need space at home, since that is where they are spending the bulk of the year. At the other extreme, many students live in shared houses that they have rented for all 52 weeks of the year, and basically that is their home while the parental home is just somewhere they visit from time to time. Of course, as time passes many (most?) students spend a larger proportion of each year near to university and less and less time with the parents.

Secondly, how much of the house is the daugher likely to need to use? It would be entirely possible to let one or more of the rooms in the house while retaining the daughter's old room for family use (that is similar to what I have done).

Thirdly, and most importantly, what does the daughter think? I am sure that she likes having her old room kept for her, but does she value this at almost a thousand pounds a month?

helenp86

Hoarding property is deeply unethical. If you live with your boyfriend and nobody is using your house you should sell it. Whether you keep it for occasional use for your daughter or let it out for a profit, you would be contributing to the housing crisis. Please do the right thing.

davilown

helenp86 said:

Hoarding property is deeply unethical. If you live with your boyfriend and nobody is using your house you should sell it. Whether you keep it for occasional use for your daughter or let it out for a profit, you would be contributing to the housing crisis. Please do the right thing.

Why is it ‘deeply’ unethical? You don’t know the situation of the owner to make that assumption.
They may be keeping so her daughter has a place to stay.