Money Moral Dilemma: Should I rent out my house if it means my daughter has to stay elsewhere?

dorsetcaz

You say that there isn't enough room at your boyfriends home for your daughter to stay, have you thought about your boyfriend and yourself moving in to your house so there would be enough room for your daughter to stay and you and your boyfriend could rent out your boyfriends home. Another idea is to rent to students, that way your house would be empty when your daughter is back from uni.

davilown

Perhaps we should be a bit more like this!

greensalad

I'm perhaps in the minority here but I say sell the property, or rent it out. Your daughter is not your responsibility to financially support once she has left home and is an adult. I supported myself at uni and it's a waste of a home that could be used for someone in desperate need, vs someone who is only staying in it for the odd short period of time. Also why buy her a hotel? She can buy herself a hotel stay if she really wants to. She's an adult?

greensalad

davilown said:

Perhaps we should be a bit more like this!

Despite my other comment, this article seems horrible. Why does anyone have to be "more important" than another in a family? What's wrong with everyone being "important", or no one at all? It's not a competition. Children's desires are important and so are parents. Neither is better or "on a pedestal" more than the other. 

davilown

greensalad said:

davilown said:

Perhaps we should be a bit more like this!

Despite my other comment, this article seems horrible. Why does anyone have to be "more important" than another in a family? What's wrong with everyone being "important", or no one at all? It's not a competition. Children's desires are important and so are parents. Neither is better or "on a pedestal" more than the other. 

I think you may be missing the point. Without the parents there are no children….

REJP

Presuming your daughter currently attends university, and it is the Christmas break there, where is she now?   Is she currently in your house alone over the Christmas break?  

After the break she should look for a long term student letting near the university and then you and your boyfriend need not worry about her.
Other contributors have remarked, that this "dilemma" should have been discussed before she started at university.  Very true.
Presuming again that you are contributing towards her student grant you will of course have notified the authorities that you have extra income from the rental of your house when you start receiving rent so that your contribution can be reassessed?
I did note your comment that there was not room for her at the home of your boyfriend and staying there is not an option.  As the house is not yet rented out perhaps you and boyfriend could have spent time there with her if you live in the same area.  If she is going to be alone then it might have been better for her to arrange to stay where she was living over the break.  If in residence at university she might have been able to stay in her room on payment of the rent there.  (If she is at a university where this is allowed.)

Witcher44

I had a really tough time at Uni and when I left, my mum knocked my room through to make a bigger room for her and my step dad, assuming I’d never be home. I then had to work another job over the holidays to pay for a place to stay when I came home, because being at Uni meant being completely alone in the holiday time. I have to say, I’ve never gotten over it 20 years on. It hurt me really badly and I feel completely rejected and alone on every level. Your daughter should always have a home. There are so many uni students going through depression and having a place to belong, a place to call home is so vital in life. That’s my opinion on it anyway.

keithyno.1

Witcher44 said:

I had a really tough time at Uni and when I left, my mum knocked my room through to make a bigger room for her and my step dad, assuming I’d never be home. I then had to work another job over the holidays to pay for a place to stay when I came home, because being at Uni meant being completely alone in the holiday time. I have to say, I’ve never gotten over it 20 years on. It hurt me really badly and I feel completely rejected and alone on every level. Your daughter should always have a home. There are so many uni students going through depression and having a place to belong, a place to call home is so vital in life. That’s my opinion on it anyway.

Absolutely, Witcher! See my post at 1.10pm.

Witcher44

keithyno.1 said:

Witcher44 said:

I had a really tough time at Uni and when I left, my mum knocked my room through to make a bigger room for her and my step dad, assuming I’d never be home. I then had to work another job over the holidays to pay for a place to stay when I came home, because being at Uni meant being completely alone in the holiday time. I have to say, I’ve never gotten over it 20 years on. It hurt me really badly and I feel completely rejected and alone on every level. Your daughter should always have a home. There are so many uni students going through depression and having a place to belong, a place to call home is so vital in life. That’s my opinion on it anyway.

Absolutely, Witcher! See my post at 1.10pm.

Wow, yes absolutely. I’ve 100% kept her at arms length all my life. I certainly won’t be running her around in the future. I know I should forgive and forget, but I have children now and they will always have a home with me.

NowVillager

How about moving back to your own house with the BF, keeping a room for your daughter so she has a home and family to return to, and letting out his place instead? Alternatively, as someone else said, let one room and keep your daughter's for her.