Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tell my family their Christmas presents are second-hand?

Matt8888

Of course you should tell them on order to spread what you have started... "Just so you know, your presents were second hand. It is one of the things I am doing for the environment. Please do give me secondhand presents from now on, and maybe join me in spreading the word and asking others to do the same. Oh, and of course we save money. It's win win!" Them: "What a great idea, and I don't think we would have even noticed..." Job done!

gloriouslyhappy

I’d be more than happy if my presents were second hand, pre-loved or whatever you want to call them. My family and friends have a £10 limit for gifts and preferably home made, church fete or charity shop. We all have so much stuff! Great idea to recycle, re-purpose or re-gift - so tell them!

Marcon

Hadenoughofitall said:

How can you give someone a second hand present? It's ridiculous. If you are short of money give them a lottery ticket.

I wiouldn't mind a second hand Strad violin....or more likely 20th or 30th hand...

nickyhatherell

We buy many many second hand presents, and to be honest that's what our family are used to now. However, if that's not the norm it may be worth telling them as if the presents look like they are worth a lot more than you may normally spend on each other, you may just make them feel bad that they hadn't spent so much and even put the pressure on them to spend more on you in the future.
We have made agreements with many of our friends and family to limit our spend on each other (£5 for most) and then the race is on to get the most / best for that sum. Makes Christmas shopping far more interesting and less wasteful / environmentally friendly, avoiding other people's unwanted items being binned, and if you shop in charity shops a charity benefits too... win win all round.

Katiehound

A friend and I have a £5 challenge . We are allowed to buy from anywhere- charity shop, unwanted gift, end of range goods- whatever. The actual cost can be £5 or the value £5- it's  fluid arrangement. The understanding is also if we don't like an item then it can be regifted or given to a charity shop. We have a lot of fun fulfilling the challenge.

I once used to give a different friend's daughter a goodie bag of assorted items each year. She had to guess what the full price was (or would have been) and then what I had paid out.  It was a game in which the rest of the family joined- to see who was the nearest with the totals!

I'd be inclined to tell people that their present wasn't bought brand new- saying you are saving the planet, getting them something more valuable  than normal, whatever. After all, it's the thought that counts.

and as another OP suggested- I most certainly would NOT want a lottery ticket: no thanks. That is not value for money.......

bargainbetty

Hadenoughofitall said:

How can you give someone a second hand present? It's ridiculous. If you are short of money give them a lottery ticket.

My aunt had mentioned a poem that she had loved as a child, and that she had been struggling to find a copy of it. I managed to identify and purchase a book of poetry that contained it, and gave it to her as part of her Christmas gift. A slightly foxed book, out of print for 15 years. She loved it because the poem meant something to her and that I had gone out of my way to find it.

Tell me why a meaningful gift has to be brand new to be acceptable? 

dazmisc

Spendless said:

CapeTown said:

You are the best ....really. Second hand, why not. The amount of money that is wasted each year sickens me. As someone else said... win win.

I am mindful of gifts my sister in law bought for my vegetarian daughter and this is honestly the truth. Three successive Christmases.  One ..pair of leather gloves. Two... leather covered photo frame.  And three.... she really surpassed herself here.... a hat with real fur bobble. I might add that my daughter has been vegetarian for years.

To be fair some vegetarians do wear leather, as it's the eating of meat and fish that they don't wish to do. It is Vegans that are opposed to the the use of any  animal products so don't  things like eat dairy, eggs or honey either and don't wear items that have come from animals, such as you describe.

My own vegetarian daughter does own and use some leather items, though would draw the line at real fur. I do find that some people gets confused between vegetarians, pescatarians (eat fish)  and vegans. This astonishingly has happened to us in restaurants. If your daughter is actually vegan but has been incorrectly described as vegetarian then maybe that's where your sister in law has gone wrong? 

Sorry, I am sure a few people may point this out but you are only slightly correct. There are many sub-divisions of vegetarian, the most 'popular' (for a word) is the lacto-ovo-vegetarian. There are many reasons also for being Vege. But in the strictest scenario, this type will not eat anything (and generally not use or own anything) that requires the killing of an animal. Thus they will eat eggs and drink milk including in products. So MOST (loosely) will not want anything leather as that involves the killing of the animal. Wool would be ok however as the animal is 'generally' not harmed.
I think the 'sister' is basically being either unthoughtful not to ask, or spiteful of the fact that someone could consider being Vege.
I am a meat eater, or maybe 'omnivore' btw, but eat a full varied diet that includes what would be classed as vegetarian diet's also, which we all should do more of, to ensure the future and sustainability of the animals and the planet, and our own health. And there are more and more people doing this,

So in reply to 'capetown' - pls politely tell your sister how rude she is being to your daughter.

And in reply to the OP, second hand is fine, there is only a 'need' to be open about it if might require some cleaning or care that you have not been able to do I feel, but I also don't think you should be shy to say, and definitely not hide it. Maybe one option would be to send a group message to all recipients of 'presents' to say "from now onwards some gifts I will buy you will be new, some will be second hand, but all will be brought with love, care and thought for who you are, and if you need/want said present.
Or when they open and say how 'lovely it is' reply with "yes I thought so and when I saw it I thought of you, and, I know it's not brand new, but I knew you would like it!"

Happy holidays everyone x

74jax

I don't really tell anyone how much my gifts are, second hand, hand me downs, hand made, new from shop, ebay etc etc

My brother and I, did one year set a limit of say £50, but I'm terrible for a bargain so I had something like £200 worth of gifts for the £50 limit. Believe it or not the year after he said to go back to our usual 'buy anything surprise' without a price, as I was 'too savvy'... 😂

In your case it wouldn't enter my head to say 'it didn't cost what you think it did' but only because the people I buy for wouldn't question me about it. 

Cabincrewcasey

I wouldn’t want second hand presents tbh, but I sold loads of high end shoes, louboutins etc, before Christmas, all to men who said they were for their wives/gfs for Christmas. All worn but in perfectly wearable condition still, some upwards of £800 new and sold them for half that, so I guess a good saving from the buyers perspective 

olgadapolga

DH got me some preloved items for Christmas and I was thrilled with them -  they were some out of print books that I had been after for years.