Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tell my family their Christmas presents are second-hand?

squirrel59

CapeTown said:

You are the best ....really. Second hand, why not. The amount of money that is wasted each year sickens me. As someone else said... win win.

I am mindful of gifts my sister in law bought for my vegetarian daughter and this is honestly the truth. Three successive Christmases.  One ..pair of leather gloves. Two... leather covered photo frame.  And three.... she really surpassed herself here.... a hat with real fur bobble. I might add that my daughter has been vegetarian for years.

Oh my word, that does take the biscuit 😨

RCN10

If you often buy secondhand for yourself and your family know that, I wouldn’t worry. Otherwise I’d probably tell them, not because you’re concerned they’ll think you’ve spent less, but because you should be proud you have opted out of the ‘every Christmas has to be bigger and more expensive than the previous one’ merry-go-round. The irony of the dire climate change warnings publicised by COP26 juxtaposed with the shop-fest that has increasingly characterised Christmas in recent years should not be lost on anyone. 

squirrel59

If the gifts are great, as you say, then that's all that will matter. If the recipients are nice people, which I'm sure they are, they'll appreciate your efforts more, not less 😊

Custardcar

I'll admit, it was all underwear I bought second hand, I probably should have clarified that when I submitted the challenge. Does that change things? 



Joking, it wasn't me who submitted this (and I suspect it 'probably' wasn't underwear).
In my opinion I think it's really admirable you're doing something for the planet. I'm a big fan of second hand stuff and resuing. I'm sure your family know you and would understand your rationale so let them know. If you're feeling super guilty about 'not spending enough on them', perhaps pop a donation to an environmental charity in their names?

witchwoopiggy

I go out of my way not to buy new, be it presents, home electrical, clothing shoes, even our furniture we have either got for free, or was a second hand gift from my mum in law ie she brought a chair for my hubby that can stand you up at a really bargain second hand price, hubby was over the moon as it was a really thoughtful birthday gift which has helped him every day since. All out Christmas gifts for others are new, unused second hand, charity shops, and the free sites from this year, I start looking in January, admittedly covid has made it harder this year its been bargains near home or if I really had to by post, I tried really hard not  to give the poor posty more to do. No one in my family and friends know there presents are second hand and I see no reason to tell them. They have all enjoyed their gifts especially the adults as I try and find something that they have mentioned they would love or something that's is going to be useful to them. Young children its good condition toys. Older teenagers its money to put towards  the next computer game. So everyone is happy. 

Hubby and I have been reusing the same 3foot by 2 foot cards since we got married,  new message and date each year its lovely to look back at all the different messages 

daisyrose59

My family's Christmas presents are also going to be second hand, or handmade, this year. I'm on a very tight budget (UC) and I really can't afford to splash the cash as I used to when I was working. It's better for the planet, but it does mean there are gifts I would like to be able to give them, but I just can't afford to. It's not worth getting into debt for. 

Mojisola

CapeTown said:

I am mindful of gifts my sister in law bought for my vegetarian daughter and this is honestly the truth. Three successive Christmases.  One ..pair of leather gloves. Two... leather covered photo frame.  And three.... she really surpassed herself here.... a hat with real fur bobble. I might add that my daughter has been vegetarian for years.

It does sound as if your SIL hasn't given much thought to her presents but did anyone tell her after the first one that it wasn't a good idea?

If not, blame yourself as much as her.

REJP

Don't tell.

iclayt

For me the key phrase is  "I wouldn't want them to think I was trying to hide that I may not have spent as much on them as I have in the past".

If the regular, non-discounted price of the gifts you've bought is along the same lines as what you would normally have spent if you hadn't found them cheaper, they're unlikely to say anything, surely?

If they unwrap something that they perceive to be extremely expensive, more than you would normally spend, and exclaim "Oh, this must have cost so much money!", you can say "don't worry, I managed to get it for a good deal, I just hope you like it."

If they don't say anything at all, keep quiet - I find the notion of explaining how much something cost, unprompted, a bit odd.

primrose_penguin

I don't think you need to tell anyone where you bought their gifts, you have obviously given thought to what you bought for each person and also for the environment and that's what counts, as others have said so much is wasted on gifts people don't really want or need at Christmas. I would be quite happy with a second hand gift. If anyone asks if you can change it all you need to say is you bought it whilst abroad so it cannot be changed which is the truth.