Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tell my family their Christmas presents are second-hand?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

On a recent trip abroad, I bought Christmas presents second-hand for all my family. They're in amazing condition and I got them for good prices, plus I wanted to prioritise the environment (I didn't fly to my destination). To me, gift giving's about what you choose for a person and the effort you put in rather than the price you pay, but if they were to find out, I wouldn't want them to think I was trying to hide that I may not have spent as much on them as I have in the past.

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elsien

Tell them they’re vintage or antique. 

Sorted. 

tacpot12

I would be inclined to tell them, if it was not obvious. I agree with you that any gift is about what you choose for a person and the effort you put in rather than the price you pay. Buying second-hand makes a lot of sense. 

NBLondon

Doesn't it depend on what the gift is?  Is it an iPhone, a Rolex, a Peppa Pig jigsaw, a pair of socks ???

Grumpy_chap

NBLondon said:

Doesn't it depend on what the gift is?  Is it an iPhone, a Rolex, a Peppa Pig jigsaw, a pair of socks ???

Quite - our local jewellers had a second hand Rolex recently at £52k.  When I was speaking to him about it (I don't usually like Rolex watches, but this one was gorgeous), he mentioned that he'd only pout it on display that morning and already taken the deposit - apparently it is a rare watch collector item.  Now, I should be very pleased to receive that as a gift on Christmas Day

For the sake of clarity, I was never speaking to the jeweller as a prospective buyer of the watch, but was in there to buy some £25 cufflinks and mentioned it only as a passing jokey comment "lovely watch, but I could buy a Tesla for the money, if I had it"

MalMonroe

I was taught that with gift-giving, it's the thought that counts. If the items are in good condition - and you say that they are - there's no need to tell anyone anything. You've bought members of your family gifts that you have thought about. And I agree with you that gift giving is about what you choose for a person and the effort you put in, rather than the price you pay. Plus, you are helping the environment. That's a win-win as far as I can see. We can't always spend the same amounts on gifts each year because circumstances change. I wouldn't worry.

CapeTown

You are the best ....really. Second hand, why not. The amount of money that is wasted each year sickens me. As someone else said... win win.

I am mindful of gifts my sister in law bought for my vegetarian daughter and this is honestly the truth. Three successive Christmases.  One ..pair of leather gloves. Two... leather covered photo frame.  And three.... she really surpassed herself here.... a hat with real fur bobble. I might add that my daughter has been vegetarian for years.

Spendless

CapeTown said:

You are the best ....really. Second hand, why not. The amount of money that is wasted each year sickens me. As someone else said... win win.

I am mindful of gifts my sister in law bought for my vegetarian daughter and this is honestly the truth. Three successive Christmases.  One ..pair of leather gloves. Two... leather covered photo frame.  And three.... she really surpassed herself here.... a hat with real fur bobble. I might add that my daughter has been vegetarian for years.

To be fair some vegetarians do wear leather, as it's the eating of meat and fish that they don't wish to do. It is Vegans that are opposed to the the use of any  animal products so don't  things like eat dairy, eggs or honey either and don't wear items that have come from animals, such as you describe.

My own vegetarian daughter does own and use some leather items, though would draw the line at real fur. I do find that some people gets confused between vegetarians, pescatarians (eat fish)  and vegans. This astonishingly has happened to us in restaurants. If your daughter is actually vegan but has been incorrectly described as vegetarian then maybe that's where your sister in law has gone wrong? 

VintageBelle

No way. You should never have to justify the gifts you've given if they are genuine and heartfelt regardless of how new they are. Be proud of doing your bit for the environment and don't feel the need to tell them (unless as someone suggested it's second hand socks haha).
If it would bother them that much then they are just very ungrateful!

realised

I don’t think it matters. I have told my friends and family that if they are thinking of buying any plastic type toys for my 2 daughters to look second hand first. It’s my responsibility to care for the planet so they have somewhere to live!

staggered

Spendless said:

CapeTown said:

You are the best ....really. Second hand, why not. The amount of money that is wasted each year sickens me. As someone else said... win win.

I am mindful of gifts my sister in law bought for my vegetarian daughter and this is honestly the truth. Three successive Christmases.  One ..pair of leather gloves. Two... leather covered photo frame.  And three.... she really surpassed herself here.... a hat with real fur bobble. I might add that my daughter has been vegetarian for years.

To be fair some vegetarians do wear leather, as it's the eating of meat and fish that they don't wish to do. It is Vegans that are opposed to the the use of any  animal products so don't  things like eat dairy, eggs or honey either and don't wear items that have come from animals, such as you describe.

My own vegetarian daughter does own and use some leather items, though would draw the line at real fur. I do find that some people gets confused between vegetarians, pescatarians (eat fish)  and vegans. This astonishingly has happened to us in restaurants. If your daughter is actually vegan but has been incorrectly described as vegetarian then maybe that's where your sister in law has gone wrong? 

I don't want to drag this thread off-topic but I think you're generalising here.  Vegetarianism and veganism are a broad spectrum.  It ranges from those who purposefully eat little meat ("flexetarians"?) to strict vegans who won't eat or use anything produced by animals.  Within that spectrum, it can be a bit "pick-and-mix".  So, I don't eat meat or fish but do eat a small amount of dairy. e.g. cake that has dairy ingredients or pizza with dairy cheese on.  But I don't wear leather shoes, watch straps, belts etc.  If I'm eating with someone and they ask if I'm vegan I say "not completely".  I don't make a big deal of it and don't judge meat-eaters.  I find that the most judgmental people are actually meat eaters who take me not eating meat as some kind of personal affront.

Anyway ... back to the topic, it's nobody's business where gifts are bought from or how much they cost.  If the recipient doesn't like them they can shove them.