Single mum to 5, striving for debt free life

Jill12

Thank you @Amber1980, if I can do it so can you, good luck with your journey 🥰.

£6 overpayment to CC, new balance £589. 

Day 7 of work today and feeling the strain of the past weeks events. Tensions running high in house between myself and kids and as they try to understand what is happening....sucky time for them. Grateful for fab sis in law who stepped in to look after kids and made dinner last night. She is helping out again today, amazing person that she is. 

My brother has told me I am crazy for extending my mortgage to pay for an extension and thinks I am a complete fool for doing so. I expected his reaction would be as much but has made me question my rational. Or maybe I should have told him to kindly mind his own business!! It is funny how you worry about what other people think of you. And that alone makes you question your sanity at times 🥴. 

Keep going Jill, one more day to get through, wishing you all a peaceful Sunday x

mark55man

It's madness to make any change but its also madness to stay the same.  Only you can decide (hint - I think you already have).  We extended 12 years ago with 4 teen/tweenagers - was the best thing we ever did to the house

elbree

I didn't want to read and run, @Jill12 so just wanted to say I think you're doing brilliantly. You can't control ex and gf (although you CAN and should make him pay if he won't voluntarily) all you do is give the kids unconditional support.

On the extension I think your brother is wrong. You NEED a new bedroom, it's not OK for your DD to share long term with you. This is the most cost effective way of getting that and making the house work in the future for you. Stick to your guns, you're doing great. 

Chrystal

elbree said:

I didn't want to read and run, @Jill12 so just wanted to say I think you're doing brilliantly. You can't control ex and gf (although you CAN and should make him pay if he won't voluntarily) all you do is give the kids unconditional support.

On the extension I think your brother is wrong. You NEED a new bedroom, it's not OK for your DD to share long term with you. This is the most cost effective way of getting that and making the house work in the future for you. Stick to your guns, you're doing great. 

I agree with @elbree, you need more space and buying another house is just throwing money down the drain from all the expenses associated with that.
Stay strong and stop second guessing yourself.  You, and only you, know what you and your family needs. (((hugs))) 

savingholmes

Glad you have some help.

You need the extension.

Don't let others control you...

The biggest thing I am working on post divorce is boundaries

Jill12

You are all so lovely and your support is fabulous so thank you mark, savingholmes, elbree and Chrystal- the hug was fab!!

Still wakening at silly oclock but have had a decent few hours kip tonight and no work today. I have nil uniforms ready for today so this morning will be interesting but I am not worrying lol.

Payment of £251.97 to CC this morning, new balance £337. Maintenance payment did come through which was such a relief but I cant stress like that every month or maybe I need to take it out the budget and treat it like a bonus when it comes. He has always paid the money but then he has not ever not taken the children on his weekend. This is all because I said NO to..................... just shows what happens when you stand your ground.

I realise things are going to be rocky for a while until kids and I find a new normal but what I have gained in confidence and assertiveness I hope will be worth it even though for the time being I am so out of my comfort level. 

Surveyor should be coming this morning to value for remortgage but I am going to reschedule for weeks end as I need some quiet time. New week, new start, positive vibes and all that for Monday morn 

amber03

Glad to see you got your money off your ex but what a worry for you if you didn’t, like you said you don’t want that stress on top of everything else you have going on. On the house front, do what you want to do. You know what you can do re finances and I don’t think you would put you and your family in a financial position where you would lose your home. Perhaps your DB is just worried. In the near future your DD will want her own bedroom and you certainly deserve your own. Xx

Jill12

Lovely to read your comment @amber03 x

CC payment of £134 away this morning, new balance now £198. 

I have always set aside a weekly amount for household items and for the last few years it has worked and therefore shopping, diesel, other bits and bobs are always covered. I have been thinking to maybe change this to a monthly system and use the CC for daily spends. I am good at not buying for buying's sake!! But the idea of using a CC does unnerve me slightly. I have never used it for daily spending. Some weeks are tighter than others and some weeks I hardly touch the budget. I really have nothing to lose as long as I can keep my spending to the necessities and not treat the card like free money!! Plus repay it in full at months end.  I think I will give it a bash.

Took all kid swimming last night, first time since Covid hit over 2 years ago. It was lots of fun and a reminder of how much everyone has missed out on over the last few years. Time for new memories now. I am rather stiff this AM! Dinner was a through together of chicken satays, mash and corn on the cob but was eaten by everyone. It was so nice just to be mum yesterday and not worry about having to work. Surveyor due between 11-1 today and my house resembles a car crash. Will be a quick dash to see how much I can tidy and stuff in drawers after school drop off 

lucielle

Swimming sounds good fun!  Hope you manage a clean up. 

L

Bluegreen143

Swimming sounds great! My sister and I took my kids on Friday. We’ve only been a couple of times in the last two years too.

Can I ask why you want to start buying all your household groceries on a CC? I think for people who do this it’s quite easy to get in a situation where you live on your credit card float (ie you are a month behind in your budget) and it takes real discipline to avoid overspending. I know it does suit some people thoug but was just wondering what the benefits are of doing it if your current system already works for you?