Single mum to 5, striving for debt free life

Jill12

I have to confess I came so close to using my overdraft a few times last month which I have not had to do in the last 7 years. That was a terrible feeling. LBM occurred that living so close to a zero budget is good for budgeting but not my mental health. I need savings or emergency fund to feel secure and avoid feelings of anxiety and impending doom! My issue is I am perhaps the worst saver in the world and have never been able to get past a couple of £1000. This is an area I am keen to change and mature in. 

mark55man

You're welcome @jill12 - please double check everything I say as I am not a professional - as they say just some random internet guy.  It can get complicated if you ex is still on the paperwork, but if it isn't I'm pretty confident you should be OK from a CGT point of view.  If it is more complicated sharing it on the tax board will get a good reply. 

I know what you mean about saving, the moment my balance is safely above £0 my spending increases - yesterday I got my DS2 a coffee and cake on my way home from work as he had been a superstar looking after about half a dozen deliveries while I was out, but then I got cake for DS1 and GF and a coffee for me so what could have been a simple thanks turned into £15 spend.  Only upside is they all loved it    - priceless

savingholmes

I've tried to set a new standard of £2K EF - and then try to raise it over time once I've cleared the CCs. All my debt is on 0% though other than the mortgage. 

Good luck with the valuation. Glad that you managed your 'no'. Sounds like you had a real breakthrough

Jill12

Yesterdays valuation went very well and the house move is on!! I will get an agreement in principle over the weekend to make my buying position more attractive. I will buy before selling, slightly risky but in todays market necessary. Just need to find a house now. All debt repayment at the moment have ceased and all money being fired into savings account for moving. I will most likely clear the debt with profits from house sale. Kids are all on board and excited, even the tiny one. Added another £63 to the savings pot this morning. Have a few item to return to shops today which I can save once refund processed. Friday again, very quick annual leave week x

lucielle

All sounds very exciting   

L

joedenise

Really pleased for you.  Good luck finding the house you want.

savingholmes

Great news on the valuation. Hope you find something suitable soon that gives you the space you are looking for. One of life's real luxuries.

Jill12

Here I am wide awake ay silly o'clock. I love the quiet this time in the morning brings but know I will be knackered for the rest of the day! 

Coming up to 2 months since I started my debt free journey so now seems like a good time to reflect. I have sold old jewellery, cancelled an unwanted sofa, resisted booking two expensive holidays but booked one affordable holiday and made good progress at paying down debt. I did not get into debt to pay for Christmas and it turned into the best Christmas I have had in years. I have discovered I am an emotional spender but getting better at controlling this. I have still made unwanted purchases but the damage has been minimum! Raising 5 children is very expensive! I have booked a summer holiday for July, costing £399 for a caravan site as I always try to have a summer holiday with the kids as it is very important to me. I have discovered that I cannot save and pay debt off at the same time. My brain cannot process this phenomena so until I am debt free there will be nil saving. I have the flexibility in my budget to account for emergencies on a monthly basis. My CC is now sitting with a balance of £643. Debt in 8 weeks has been reduced by £3870, via the outlined above methods. 

I have applied and had accepted in principle a remortgage on my current house. I am going to extend and add a further 2 bedrooms. I have thrown ideas back and forth about moving, extending and this is the most financially sensible option. The moving costs of £10,000 alone felt like giving away money for free. My house valued at £180000, the mortgage was £67000, even with £45000 extra borrowed my loan to value is still good. Chose a 5 year fixed rate at 1.8%. Extended the mortgage term from 15 years to 20 years. New repayments will increase from £450 to £560. Rising costs of living have put the fear in my ability to afford a more expensive property and renovate it. The world is just too uncertain at present and I am a risky person, maybe just getting more mature with my thinking. Council tax on my current property is £120, the houses I viewed all had CT in the £250/£300 a month bracket which just made the idea of moving all the less appealing. As the saying goes the hill is not always greener...............

The whole remortgage process has been very stress free so far. I have to submit three months worth of bank statements and the last three months payslips by weeks end to get things moving. Next will be the planning phase of what the extension is going to look like, exciting times. 

I am still on track and aiming to be deb free by Christmas. After the CC is gone I have the marathon of tackling the car loan of £13150 . 

mark55man

Great summary.  Extensions are fun to plan, less fun to live with during the building but then a constant delight!.

Great work on the debt - I think when all that's left is the car loan you will feel happier, as even early on, its a loan you can cancel pretty much effectively by selling the car - unlike the CC.  I mean you won't, but you could ... and that made a difference mentally to me, and helped me concentrate on paying it off rather than being worried about it

Jill12

Thanks Mark as always you are right, the car might be the easy bit after wrapping up all the outlanders!!

Finding my self awake at this ungodly hour again and why................ well it goes back to two weeks ago when I told my ex no,no,no. The no was a response to no longer wanting to co-parent with my ex husbands girlfriend. A strange arrangement that had evolved over 5 years to the point my ex and I no longer communicated at all. It was an ok arrangement and worked until the GF started to think she could influence my parenting in my own home and her comments about my parenting started to become more unhelpful/ rude. Such as I always take things too personal etc, etc. This lady has no children of her own. Two weeks ago she entered my house, while I was out and a weekend the children were with me and ate lunch with my children, very strange. The following week she kept texting asking to discuss my eldest child. I had tried to decline this conversation but ultimately she turned up outside my house, again on a night the kids were with me and asked my son to ask me to go out. I said a few expletives ??*$& (to myself) but went out. The conversation was just weird, will leave it there. I have never been assertive but counselling/CBT, over the last few months has helped me change my thinking pattern and assertiveness. It has been an invaluable tool. I sent a very plain, assertive message that recent events were not ok and this arrangement of co-parenting was no longer working for me. I messaged ex-hub and stated same and all communication should be via me and him through text, phone or "please advise of alternative means of communication". Sadly though for the kids he has chosen to not respond at all. The kids are sad, he is a wazzock! He did not show up to take them last night and did not let them know why. I cant make this better for them which hurts even more. I love my children so much. Life just sucks sometimes, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Or climb the stairs and launch them lemons outta the window 

A payment of £25.20 made today to CC, new balance £623.46.

Spoke to my boss about underpayment of wages. She admitted it was her error which she promptly rectified. Will have 9 extra shifts in next months pay packet which will be lovely. I never included overtime in monthly budget in case this kinda thing happens- underpayment! 

Contacted architect about planning and drawings for the side extension yesterday so phone call at lunch scheduled to discuss this. Prospect of having my own room again is very exciting. I will get the paperwork for mortgage sent over today. Work is looking busy today, loads if sick folk needing attention but good to see more cancer treatments starting back up and routine ops. We have recently seen an influx of young palliative people sadly due to late diagnosis. The knock on effects from Covid are going to be felt for years. Going to find the paperwork needed for mortgage seeing I am now wide awake, happy Wednesday all xx