Single mum to 5, striving for debt free life

Chrystal

Great news on the mortgage etc, and lovely to hear that your Mum was thinking about you and doing what she could to help. Bless her. XXX

Jill12

Cheers @savingholmes AND @Chrystal, my wee mammy was an absolute legend x 

Day off today to allow my car/ family bus to be serviced and MOT'ed, Patiently waiting on the phone call to inform me of the damage. To pass the time I have bought a pack of 5 jam donuts and munching my way through the pack with copious amounts of tea and watching rubbish on Youtube!! There are a thousand things I could be doing but the latter is far more appealing. 

I have resumed some smaller repayment to the debt of my car loan. I will aim for a payment a day rounding up to the nearest 5 or ten pounds, then at least I am doing something to try and keep the debt going down in the right direction. I will keep squirreling the large amounts into a savings account for the extension. The settlement figure on my current mortgage is lower than expected which was a pleasant surprise but the ERC is still an eye watering £2016. My monthly payments are set to jump from £450 to £560. I still think the extension is a far more sensible decision than moving and even with my reduced hours and increased monthly mortgage payments I should still be able to be debt free my the years end. 

Back to patiently waiting for the garage to phone.................... 

Jill12

The MOT and service ended up costing £160 which was great apart from the car failed the MOT!! Luckily I have a warranty that will cover the defects otherwise I was looking at a bill for £1200. Love a warranty thats finally worth something. Will get the car booked in at a dealership to get the repairs done by weeks end. 

My new working hours are great and have allowed me to reduce chilcare for the wee ones and I am home for when they finish school. I have all this new found time now and to be honest I am struggling to fill it productively. I find myself sitting on the sofa twiddling my thumbs, a great luxury but time I could actually do something with. My motherly role is also changing as the kids are getting older and I am no longer needed as much, perhaps I am struggling with this too. Whatever the reason I feel a change happening but not sure what yet. I like to change things up every few years, just to keep life interesting!! 

I am desperate to chuck large amounts at the car loan but I know if I get a large bill for the solicitors for the remortgage or ERC for currect mortgage I would kick myself if I could not pay it with cash upfront. Life at the moment seems to be stagnent but also in a state of flux. Perhaps the issues is I have no drama going on and life in just normal for a change  . Whatever the reason for my uncertainty I am not feeling quite as sure of myself as I should be x

savingholmes

I think the world was just starting to feel less scary in terms of the pandemic and now there's senseless war and atrocities closer than we are used to. That coupled with inflation isn't helping anyone's MH.

You sound like you have a solid plan. Stick with it.... Hope you feel better soon

Jill12

Hello lovely MSE folk, I have been absent for a while. After my initial gazelle intense efforts at paying off debt I crashed and burned in the middle of March. I could not figure out why I was feeling so awful. I had reduced my hours, was making an effort to look after myself and on paper I was doing everything right. My debt was reducing at record speed and I was doing so well. I was signed off from my CBT therapy as my counsellor was impressed with my progress and life was seemingly rosy. But no matter how early I went to bed I was tired, always on edge, anxious and just not a nice person to be around. So I stuck my head in the sand and just got on with life, hoping that Devine intervention would solve all my problems (heads up- it did not and never does lol). I had no idea what was going on with me. My productivity at work dropped, I didn't want to be seeing patients and my enthusiasm for my job disappeared (I usually adore my job and have worked hard to get the position I hold). Palliative care was becoming unbearable and I dreaded going into work and could not wait to finish. I even toyed with the idea to quitting my job because that would be such a good idea!! My attitude was so negative and I was so sick of hearing my own whingy voice repeat the same things over and over and over again 

On Monday while I was at work, I received a phone call from a police officer to tell me one of my children had been the victim of an assault. Hearing that sentence snapped me into reality and has made me have to face up to the fact I am unwell. My child is and will be fine. They have so much love and support around them and the local authorities have been incredibly supportive. My friends have been absolute rocks and I realise how lucky I am to have kind people and work colleagues around me. I also now see I have not been myself for sometime. A trip to the doctors yesterday confirmed I am depressed and have another physiological condition that is exacerbating the depression. I am relieved I have answers but sad it has taken such an awful event to jerk me into taking action to address my own health. However, I now have answers and support which is priceless and I have been signed off from work for now. It is hard to believe how quickly things can change or how slow changes can have such a large impact. So that's my story up until now.  

My debt status has not altered much, I had lost track and interest in my debt journey but in the coming weeks I will get back on track, just by journaling this I feel better, happy Saturday everyone x

joedenise

Sorry things have been so awful for you and about your child being assaulted but also glad to hear you have seen your Dr and are now having treatment.

It’s good to have you back and posting and that life is looking better.

savingholmes

joedenise said:

Sorry things have been so awful for you and about your child being assaulted but also glad to hear you have seen your Dr and are now having treatment.

It’s good to have you back and posting and that life is looking better.

I couldn't put it better. From experience it's hard to spot MH decline unless I journal. Glad your child is on the mend and you are too 

Jill12

Thank you @joedenise and @savingholmes xx

Day 1 of trying to get back on the saddle and tackle life. With the stress of work removed for a few weeks and new medication to take this is all positive steps. I spent yesterday at a local youth competition watching one of my kids compete and I have done nothing but beam from ear to ear with pride in them. Finished the night off at a local pool hall with friends and enjoyed company and had some good old fun. I have chose to remove alcohol from my life for the time being to help me get better so nil intake on that front. Woke up this morning with a feeling of calm which was quite lovely. 

Through March and April I really struggled to stick to budget and overspent massively and felt like I was losing control of finances again. I thought this might happen with my all or nothing mind set. So back to the drawing board with budgeting and debt management. I dont think I have caused too much damage on the debt front but I have been spending money like there is a shortage of it. For example I have a new addition to the family.... a new pup!!! Just what we were all needing!!! But it is now with us and has brought some laughter back into the house. At £1000 it was not my most sensible purchase and perhaps a really good example of how impulsive I can be. Perhaps I need to work on this areas of myself for future breakdowns . 

I have written a budget for April/May but no provisions made for debt repayment. I am still in the process of remortgaging but it seems to be taking a life time to complete. I have passed credit checks, waiting on settlement figure from current lender and then maybe I will get a completion date. The remortgage has been very stressful but still by far easier and cheaper than moving. I have had an architect out to site and we have talked through some ideas and designs so waiting on the plans coming back to me to look at. This week I have a new shed going up, nice wee chuck of money at £1500. This is the first step in the house renovation. I ll need to clear out the garage and figure out what I ll be keeping and rehouse it in the new shed. The next step will be the get the old garage flattened and disposed of as it contains asbestos so specialist company required to do the work. So progress at least there.

Current debts have not altered much. I have a small balance on MBNA of £201 and M&S car loan about £13000. Thats all the debt. I have dipped in and out of my overdraft purely as I was not monitoring my spending but usually cleared it a day or two later. Savings are still a massive zilch but not too worry they will grow one day.

I have planned a family day out tomorrow to the zoo for bank holiday fun, going along with friends again, nice and pricey at £88. Today I would like to get some healthy recipes and cook good food for myself and kids this week to eat. So after this I ll hit the cupboards and supermarket and source they ingredients. Take care x 

Queen_of_the_Hive

Hello @Jill12, I have just read through your diary from the beginning. You have had an inspiring journey. Sorry to hear you've not been feeling well recently. I've had my own battles with anxiety that affects me most at work. In January I stepped down from a full time role to a part time one just to give myself some breathing space and this year I've taking life a lot more relaxed pace. Love the sound of the house extension plans. Have a nice bank holiday. 

Chrystal

Sorry to hear about the problems you've had, but great to hear that you've taken the bull by the horns and found the beginnings of a solution. Hope the assault hasn't had too much of  detrimental effect on you all... must have been scary and one hell of a shock. Sending (((hugs))) and positivity to you all.  XXX