Single mum to 5, striving for debt free life

savingholmes

Glad you are finding some good things to celebrate too.

Hugs

Jill12

Thank you @Queen_of_the_Hive, @Chrystal and @savingholmes, I happily embrace your positive vibes xx

This week has been a very quite and relaxed one. Lots of thinking and time to relax. I have spent alot of time walking the dogs and trying to figure out what I want for the future. I drove to the coast yesterday, drank coffee and ate a bacon roll, I feel asleep in the car for an hour and last night spent time with friends and the kids. I have been making a real effort to talk to people every day and indulge in meaningless chat. Beginning to realise that my job is more stressful than I would like it to be and a career change is maybe required?? That still needs a bit more thinking through. I love nursing just not palliative care. Since losing my mum that side of the job has become quite unbearable and having nursed on the Covid ITU ward also I have seen more than my fair share of death. I am not alone in my profession, there are so many broken nurses at the moment and so many of us are leaving the profession because of burn out. I think I just need a career tweak not a move. If I could remove the palliative care from the job then I would be sorted but thats going to mean looking for a new job. 

My depression is starting to lift. I tried the anti depressants the GP prescribed but I felt completely detached and out of my body so decided not to continue with them. The other condition I have started treatment for should also help the depression lift so I am keen to see how I feel on that treatment alone and if I need to revisit the anti depressants then I will but not the now. 

The remortgage is finally set to complete on Tuesday so I am very excited and relieved. I am also relieved I have managed to fix the mortgage rate for the next 5 years after the Bank announced rate hikes. Mortgage repayments will go from £450 to £570. I have borrowed £40,000 extra over 20 years. My new mortgage will be £112800, over 20 years @1.79% for 5 years. With the £40,000 I will add a single storey extension at the side of the house which will add two further rooms to my house, one single and one double. I ll end up with three bedrooms upstairs sharing one bathroom and three bedrooms downstairs sharing one bathroom. If I had moved my new mortgage and would have been at least double that and fees alone would have been £10,000 plus. Still waiting for architect to send plans over, will maybe gently nudge him later this week. The shed was installed on Tuesday, it is bigger than I thought it would be so will nicely store all the rubbish from the garage. At £1530 not cheap but this will be the only shed I will ever have to buy for this house as it is so solid!

On the budget front I have stuck to budget so far this week. The kids and I have been eating the most unhealthy foods but for once that is the least of my worries! I was full of good intensions at the beginning of the week to eat healthily but I have not even set foot inside a supermarket this week. There is always next week to sort the food eating lol. On Friday I am heading to Switzerland with my brother for the weekend and I am looking forward to the trip. If all goes well I ll return to work next Monday, although at the moment that is the least appealing thought on the planet..... happy weekend to y'all xx

mark55man

exciting times planning a renovation - hold that joy as you go through the weeks/months when everything is in turmoil.  you will not regret deciding to have the extra space and it will be worth every penny

savingholmes

Hope you feel better soon. Glad things are improving. Great you have managed to fix for 5 years

Jill12

My remortgage finally completed on Tuesday. I am now totally in control of my own finances. My mortgage previously was with my dad as a joint borrower, sole proprietor. This is my first time owning a house for me and my kids on my own and the feeling is just awesome. It was very stressful waiting for everything to conclude but it is now done and I am so truly grateful and thankful I have managed to do it. A place to call my own, dreams really do come true. I have finally started using Monzo bank account for daily spending. Notifications get sent through every time I spend and the app keeps a running totally of daily spends which I am finding very useful.

I am packed and ready for my trip to Switzerland. My brother will pick me up at 2pm. All children and dogs have been farmed out for the weekend and I am very excited. This is my first trip abroad in 8 years. Hopefully the first of many to come if it goes well. Flights cost £50 for a return so a bit of a bargain. 

I am still off work sick but hope to return on Monday and I think I have made the decision to hand my notice in!! I have applied for several jobs but I can also do agency work for a while until something more permanent comes along. My eldest kids has learning disabilities and finding care that fits her needs has been a huge source of anxiety, more so than I have realised. That coupled with the nature of my job and trying to maintain a sense of "everything is ok" has really taken a toll on me. Sadly it took the assault to make me see this. However, some super powered medications and rest has reset my mind and helped me heal. I am not quite sure what the future holds but it is defo much more brighter than it was two weeks ago.

Have an awesome weekend folk xx 

Four_Seasons

Have a lovely weekend.  So pleased about your house x

savingholmes

Glad your mortgage has come through.

Before you resign - have you got a decent safety net in the form of an emergency fund?

Jill12

@Four_Seasons, lovely of you to say, @savingholmes I have a small lump sum sitting in an account that was left to me by my mum, enough to cover 5-6 months worth of expenses but I am keen to leave that well alone!!

Trip to Switzerland was beautiful, the Rhine blew my mind when I saw it, so blue, wide and clear, the locals treated it like the local beach, temp was a balmy 29 degrees and I just had the time of my life. Exactly what I needed to help blow away the cobwebs. Sometimes it is easy to forget I am a person too with needs and wants. I travelled alot when I was younger thanks to my parents so this is something I am keen to keep going with. I forgot how thrilling it is visiting foreign places and flying on a plane. The whole experience from start to finish was just magical. 

I returned to work yesterday with every intension of handing in my resignation. However I did n't. As soon I saw my first patient I remembered why I fought so hard to get the job I am now in. I think my mental state has played a huge part in how dispondant and low I was feeling. I really do now have a new profound understanding of how menal health can impact upon life and make you utterly miserable. We really as a society do not talk about mental health enough. 

I am loving my new Monzo card and bank account the running total notifications are really working for me and this week I am so far managing to stay on budget. I baked banana and chocolate muffins yesterday. I had so much fun doing this and they were really tastey and very easy to make. The kids enjoyed helping out too. The new pup has settled in well witht the family, the old dog is defo showing his years and struggles to keep up. After initially hating eachother to death (older pup to younger) I can seen a faint friendship forming when the two are out on walks. I have been walking them both every day and this is bringing me joy. I love watching them bound about on the moor. Wee pup had dry crate this morning so result! 

Overall I am in a much happier place at the moment, I just need to remember to keep popping the pills to keep me functioning. Doc says it will take a few months for my body chemistry to even out but even now I feel light  years removed from the girl of two weeks ago. I am not taking the anti depressants as they made me feel so far removed from reality. The other med though is working a dream.

Take care and Happy Tuesday xx

Chrystal

Lovely to hear that you're feeling a lot better.  Long may it continue.  (((hugs)))XX

savingholmes

Glad you are feeling better. Be kind to yourself whatever you decide to do about your job.