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Needles71

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shell16

Well done on taking the step to post here, there are some fabulous people on this forum.  It sounds like life isnt being too kind to you?

Im still in the early stages of my debt busting so feel a little cheeky on making a comment at all!  BUT can I ask why you havent spoken to your partner?  If he is on board then this will make life a lot easier?  What levels of debt are you in with credit cards?  Do you know how you got into debt with these cards so you know to stop?  If you are comfortable in answering, why are you unable to work?

EssexHebridean

Hello, sorry to hear you're struggling, and well done on acknowledging it and seeking help. 

It's difficult finding yourself in debt anyway, but even more so if you have little income of your own and are essentially dependent on someone else. For that reason as much as any though it is important that you sit down and speak with your partner about the situation - apart from anything else they will be incredibly hurt that you didn't feel able to talk to them, and that is likely to do more lasting damage than the debt itself. 

I'm going to suggest that the first thing you need to do is to put together your SOA (Statement Of Affairs) which means working through all your income and outgoings, and probably most importantly your debts too. Get together any paperwork you have - statements etc - and that will help you with filling the SOA in. There is a link to one of the calculators we suggest in my signature below. That SOA will also give you a complete picture for when you speak with your partner, rather than ending up saying "I don't know" about lots of stuff - that in turn will help you feel more in control of the situation. 

If you are unable to work due to health reasons, have you made inroads into checking what benefits you may be eligible for? 

Needles71

EssexHebridean said:

Hello, sorry to hear you're struggling, and well done on acknowledging it and seeking help. 

It's difficult finding yourself in debt anyway, but even more so if you have little income of your own and are essentially dependent on someone else. For that reason as much as any though it is important that you sit down and speak with your partner about the situation - apart from anything else they will be incredibly hurt that you didn't feel able to talk to them, and that is likely to do more lasting damage than the debt itself. 

I'm going to suggest that the first thing you need to do is to put together your SOA (Statement Of Affairs) which means working through all your income and outgoings, and probably most importantly your debts too. Get together any paperwork you have - statements etc - and that will help you with filling the SOA in. There is a link to one of the calculators we suggest in my signature below. That SOA will also give you a complete picture for when you speak with your partner, rather than ending up saying "I don't know" about lots of stuff - that in turn will help you feel more in control of the situation. 

If you are unable to work due to health reasons, have you made inroads into checking what benefits you may be eligible for? 

I am on all the benefits I am eligible to claim. 

EssexHebridean

Needles, the above makes it look like your partner doesn't know about the medical condition either - I do hope that's not the case as it would indicate that there was really something deeply concerning here. 

OK - assuming it's just the debt that you currently say you can't discuss with them, then you need to put together your SOA with just your own income, plus your share of the regular expenditures and the debt, so we can see where you stand.  Set aside the need to discuss things with your partner for the time being and let's see how practical it is for you to deal with things  on your own. 

How has the debt arisen - purely due to your reduction in income, or other reasons? Also if this debt that has accrued as a result of joint spending or just your own expenditure. 

shell16

Needles71 said:

Sorry I didn't make it clear. It is just the debt OH doesn't know about. 
All the money comes out of a joint account. My benefits just covers my prepaid prescription card and household food. 

Ok Needles so it sounds like you have a joint credit card debt with your partner and 2 in your own name?  You mention he doesnt know about the debt. Are you saying he doesnt know about the joint debt or the 2 in your own name or all 3?

Are you able to complete a SOA (see EssexHebridean post signature)?  This will give us some idea on your incomings to your outgoings and we may be able to help more?  

Needles71

shell16 said:

Needles71 said:

Sorry I didn't make it clear. It is just the debt OH doesn't know about. 
All the money comes out of a joint account. My benefits just covers my prepaid prescription card and household food. 

Ok Needles so it sounds like you have a joint credit card debt with your partner and 2 in your own name?  You mention he doesnt know about the debt. Are you saying he doesnt know about the joint debt or the 2 in your own name or all 3?

Are you able to complete a SOA (see EssexHebridean post signature)?  This will give us some idea on your incomings to your outgoings and we may be able to help more?  

The joint credit card is paid off in full every month. The 2 cards that are just in my name have the debt on them
I will work on the SOA in the next couple of days

Needles71

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]

Number of adults in household........... 2

Number of children in household......... 

Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 0

Partners monthly income after tax....... 1850

Benefits................................ 550

Other income............................ 0[b]

Total monthly income.................... 2400[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]

Mortgage................................ 100

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0

Rent.................................... 0

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. 165

Electricity............................. 45

Gas..................................... 45

Oil..................................... 0

Water rates............................. 50

Telephone (land line)................... 0

Mobile phone............................ 0

TV Licence.............................. 14

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0

Internet Services....................... 0

Groceries etc. ......................... 200

Clothing................................ 0

Petrol/diesel........................... 20

Road tax................................ 35

Car Insurance........................... 60

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 35

Car parking............................. 0

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 0

Other child related expenses............ 0

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10.8

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0

Buildings insurance..................... 30

Contents insurance...................... 30

Life assurance ......................... 0

Other insurance......................... 0

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0

Haircuts................................ 0

Entertainment........................... 0

Holiday................................. 250

Emergency fund.......................... 50[b]

Total monthly expenses.................. 1139.8[/b]

[b]

Assets[/b]

Cash.................................... 0

House value (Gross)..................... 300000

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s).................................. 18000

Other assets............................ 0[b]

Total Assets............................ 318000[/b]

[b]

Secured & HP Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Mortgage...................... 1295.....(100)......4[b]

Total secured & HP debts...... 1295......-.........-   [/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

MBNA...........................8000......0.........0

NATWEST........................8000......0.........0[b]

Total unsecured debts..........16000.....0.........-  [/b]

[b]

Monthly Budget Summary[/b]

Total monthly income.................... 2,400

Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,139.8

Available for debt repayments........... 1,260.2

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 0[b]

Amount left after debt repayments....... 1,260.2[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]

Total assets (things you own)........... 318,000

Total HP & Secured debt................. -1,295

Total Unsecured debt.................... -16,000[b]

Net Assets.............................. 300,705[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.

Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

Needles71

There is never any money put aside for presents or the credit card that is paid off in full every month. That just goes out by DD.

My 2 credits cards pay the minimum but I have shredded all the statements so I can't give exact figures or %rate
It appears to be showing alot of money left over but that is never the case

Sncjw

Is that correct mortgage amount. 

I think it might be an idea to talk yo your partner. I'm sure if he is a keeper he will help you. Maybe tell him how you got into this might help. Is it spending on stuff you need or fpr the household? 


I think telling him will release alot of weight on your shoulders. I think if you ci tinue to hide it and he finds out he won't appreciate the secret you kept. 

Needles71

Sncjw said:

Is that correct mortgage amount. 

I think it might be an idea to talk yo your partner. I'm sure if he is a keeper he will help you. Maybe tell him how you got into this might help. Is it spending on stuff you need or fpr the household? 


I think telling him will release alot of weight on your shoulders. I think if you ci tinue to hide it and he finds out he won't appreciate the secret you kept. 

Yes. We pay £100 a month on the mirtgage and it will be paid off in full in April. The outstanding amount will be paid in the final DD

The money on cards have been balance transfers from the joint credit card from when he lost his job and wasn't working for a long while.

I have to sort this alone. He will never know