Xxxxxx

EssexHebridean

Ok - first things first - you HAVE to establish where that missing surplus is going. On paper you have over FOURTEEN THOUSAND pounds a year that you simply don’t know where it’s going - that’s ludicrous. (For context, it’s nearly as much as my take home pay! ) You need to start a spending diary to work out where that money is going as a priority. Some of it will be going as the minimum payments to the cards, of course. 

Further straight question - if the money on the cards dates from when your OH lost his job and presumably joint finances were tight, why on EARTH are you so determined you have to sort it without telling him? Presumably you supported him when he wasn’t working, do you really not think he would want to do the same for you, now? I’m going to be honest - usually we see this when one party has gone on a spending spree and is frightened to tell their partner for that reason, but that’s far from the case here. 

Turning to the SOA itself, a couple of things stand out for me - that’s a big chunk of money being put aside for holidays, but no cash assets showing - this money is definitely being saved, yes? Same with the Emergency Fund - you do put this money away as shown?  Also your insurance costs - particularly contents - look high. Do you follow the MSE approach via comparison sites to make sure you’re getting a good deal, or is it just allowed to auto-renew? On the flip side, gas and electric look a bit on the low side - have you checked this level of DD will cover your use this winter with higher energy prices, or are you still on a legacy fix? If the latter, best to check when it will finish and see if you need to budget for a bit extra. 

No mobile phone, landline or internet costs? That’s pretty unusual these days.  You’ve also got nothing for clothes, and I’m pretty sure you DO definitely use those! Car maintenance - again make sure this is definitely being stashed away. Entertainment as well - nothing at all, ever? You do also need to start budgeting for presents really - it’s far easier doing that than just “winging it”. 

Your grocery spend looks good, but do make sure this is accurate - keep your shopping receipts together for a while and remember to factor in any takeaways etc as well. Assume your partner takes a packed lunch? If not then you’re likely missing costs for his food there. 

Ultimately if the SOA is accurate in the main categories, even once you’ve accounted for something for clothing, perhaps a bit extra on groceries, then you’re still going to have a decent sum that needs tracking down. The good news is, that with that surplus found, you can tackle the cards pretty effectively. 

If you’d rather not have paper statements coming in, then you should be able to switch the card accounts to online statements via your online banking apps. You’ll be able to find interest rates there as well, so you’ll know where you’re at on that. 

Sncjw

Needles71 said:

Sncjw said:

Is that correct mortgage amount. 

I think it might be an idea to talk yo your partner. I'm sure if he is a keeper he will help you. Maybe tell him how you got into this might help. Is it spending on stuff you need or fpr the household? 


I think telling him will release alot of weight on your shoulders. I think if you ci tinue to hide it and he finds out he won't appreciate the secret you kept. 

Yes. We pay £100 a month on the mirtgage and it will be paid off in full in April. The outstanding amount will be paid in the final DD

The money on cards have been balance transfers from the joint credit card from when he lost his job and wasn't working for a long while.

I have to sort this alone. He will never know

Exactly what I'm. Thinking too if the debt on the cards now are from balance transfers from joint card which is JOINT DEBT. Then why in earth are you hiding it. Whete does he think that money went. 

Sorry but you have over 1000 surplus that money can go onto the cards to pay it off in 16 months.. 

EssexHebridean

Something else to be very aware of - that £100 mortgage payment is going to leave you with a chunky shortfall on the final payment if that is 5 months away as you have said. Do you have money put aside somewhere to clear that remaining balance? I know you’ve said it will be taken automatically, but if you currently don’t have the surplus in the account at end of month, you need to plan where that will come from. 

Is the £250 for the timeshare all it costs you? By that I mean does that cover travel to spend time there as well? Hire car etc while you’re there, additional spending whilst there… If not you need to budget additionally for that. 

mcpitman

Needles71 said:

Sncjw said:

Is that correct mortgage amount. 

I think it might be an idea to talk yo your partner. I'm sure if he is a keeper he will help you. Maybe tell him how you got into this might help. Is it spending on stuff you need or fpr the household? 


I think telling him will release alot of weight on your shoulders. I think if you ci tinue to hide it and he finds out he won't appreciate the secret you kept. 

Yes. We pay £100 a month on the mirtgage and it will be paid off in full in April. The outstanding amount will be paid in the final DD

The money on cards have been balance transfers from the joint credit card from when he lost his job and wasn't working for a long while.

I have to sort this alone. He will never know

Please let us know why the joint debt you took on over two cards is now your secret problem.

Does your partner think these are paid off? If so, how did he expect you to do that on £500 per month?

Seriously, you need to tell him/remind him about the debt, you could be debt free in 18 months if you both went at it.

EssexHebridean

Can we flip things round here then. 

You have debt that was jointly accrued, that you now feel you have to pay off yourself. It’s unclear whether you are scared to tell your partner, or just unwilling. You’ve posted here asking for help and advice, and a lot has been offered, so following that, how do you now propose you are best to proceed with clearing this debt? I’ll be honest - there are a lot of red flags here, and I don’t think I’m the only one feeling that, either. 

As a further response to your post above, I see nowhere on your SOA that you’re saving money monthly for petrol/diesel for holiday travel either, in fact, that £20 a month suggests such low mileage as it stands that in most circumstances we’d be advising the poster that their car was costing them more than it is worth - in your case due to the high insurance cost. (Again, has this been shopped for using comparison sites as that’s a very high sum for insurance). 

EssexHebridean

Ok - now we’re getting somewhere. I was hoping that would be the case - the more worrying alternative (and one which has strong precedent on these boards) was that you were in an abusive relationship and THAT was why you were adamant that you couldn’t tell him. This was why people were trying to get to the bottom of this, through concern that you may need more help than just with the debt, I’m very relieved that is not the case. 

So - to the debt then. I will reiterate that you really don’t need to keep this secret from your OH - and also that I promise you (speaking from personal experience) they he will be devastated when he finds out (which he will, eventually) that you didn’t feel you could ask him for help. I felt as though the trust I thought we had was a figment of my imagination, in the first instance, and it honestly made me step back and question where we were at. Our relationship did survive it, but it was very touch and go, and was ONLY because I’d previously some years before been in debt myself and so understood the feelings of shame that he had. I still feel a huge sense of guilt even now that I didn’t realise what was going on. I appreciate you probably think we’re nagging at you, but it really is important that you understand that there are risks to not being honest. Final one on this - ask yourself how you would feel if the situation was reversed - would YOU be fine with him struggling on, panicking constantly about money, and carrying the full weight of it on his own shoulders?  

So - clearing this debt. Clearly you can’t do it just from your benefits without being able to somehow increase your income. One option albeit it won’t earn a fortune would be to turn your attention to online surveys and that sort of thing - have a look at the boost your income section on the forum for ideas, but I’d suggest OnePoll, ProlificAcademic and Power of Opinions as a good starting point - it’s possible to get reasonably swift payouts from all of those. Is there anything you bought using those cards that you can now sell on to raise some funds? Is there anything that you previously used but now due to your health condition, you can’t, that you could sell? Otherwise I’d suggest simply letting the cards default, and then waiting for them to be sold on to a DCA at which point you can make a token offer to pay based on your current circumstances. 

I got that on the car by the way - it was the very reason that I didn’t raise it’s expense on the original SOA comments - when someone is disabled it becomes a lifeline - although I’d say if you really are only using it for holiday travel it could be worth hiring a car for the times you’re heading off there as that could be a saving. 

We can advise, and help on here, but it isn’t a one way street - all we can do is to offer that advice, you then need to think about what can be acted on. 

shell16

Needles71 said:

There is never any money put aside for presents or the credit card that is paid off in full every month. That just goes out by DD.

My 2 credits cards pay the minimum but I have shredded all the statements so I can't give exact figures or %rate
It appears to be showing alot of money left over but that is never the case

I appreciate you have shredded the statements on your 2 cards.  Can you access your accounts via an APP?  What are your monthly payments on each Card?  The total you have left on the SOA is alot and note you havent put down the payments for these?  Im guessing they are not interest free, have you called your card companies to speak to them about your situation?  They may be able to help you?  

enthusiasticsaver

Normally when you are on a low income and you are unable to make more than minimum payments and are paying interest then a debt solution like a DMP  would normally be suggested and that involves defaulting on the debts but hopefully the credit card companies freezing the interest  which is often high and payments set at an affordable amount.  However in your case it does look like you can afford to deal with the 2 credit cards once you sort out where all the money is going and in your case as EH says there is £14k which presumably is getting spent somewhere as you say you don't have anything left at the end of the month.  

I personally would continue paying as much to the cards as possible and making sure you are on as low an interest rate as you can get although if you are no longer working it will be difficult to get 0% deals.  Your DH undoubtedly would be able to so this would be much easier to deal with if he was put in the picture. The only other alternative if you will not talk to your DH is to contact your credit card companies and say your income is now benefits only due to your illness and ask them to freeze interest and accept a fixed monthly repayment that you feel you can afford from your £500 benefits.  You can ring them up and ask what interest you are paying.  How do you make the minimum payments without your DH knowing?  Does he not look at your bank statements and ask what the payments are for? Be aware though that going down something like a DMP route will involve defaults in your name which may well appear to him too as you are financially linked so he may find out about the cards when applying for credit or remortgage in just his name or even just doing a credit search.  If you have savings also it would make sense to use that to repay the cards as the interest will be way more than you get on savings or pay on your mortgage. 

There seems to be a degree of financial secrecy between you and your DH so talking more about joint finances is important. 

Needles71

He never looks at the bank statements and never asks about the money situation 

TheAble

Would it be worth rewriting the SOA with all your partner's stuff stripped out of it? Since you're determined to tackle this alone it makes it confusing if his income is listed as well.

I would rewrite, just with your income, assets, debts and share of the expenses.