We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. See the Community Noticeboard for more info. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Xxxxxx

Options
1235»

Comments

  • kimwp
    kimwp Posts: 2,938 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    edited 8 December 2021 at 5:09PM
    Needles71 said:
    Sncjw said:
    I also think you need to have an honest conversation about your finances. 

    Surely he can't be that blasé about finances. You say the debts are from joint reasons so why don't you tackle it jointly and you also mention about joint accounts where does he think the money diapears too. 

    You say you are responsible for sorting out the household bills but surely its the admin side and not the full financial side. 

    There's enough income combined to service those debts and alsp for the mortgage to be just over 1k surely it means you don't have to worry about the mortgage in a way as its nearly paid off. 

    It may seem frightening to talk about it but you will just get overloaded with worry. You will get deeper and deeper in the hole too.

    Something had to give. 
    I have taken all your advice and approached the subject of the debt. It turned into a blazing row and my marriage is over. I will be living alone from Saturday. OH is leaving me
    Sorry to hear this. If it is final, there are plenty of experts on these forums who can advise on different areas that you might need to now deal with.
    Statement of Affairs (SOA) link: https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

    For free, non-judgemental debt advice, try: Stepchange or National Debtline. Beware fee charging companies with similar names.
  • shell16
    shell16 Posts: 1,354 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited 8 December 2021 at 7:37PM
    Needles71 said:
    I have taken all your advice and approached the subject of the debt. It turned into a blazing row and my marriage is over. I will be living alone from Saturday. OH is leaving me
    I'm sorry to hear this, but is it just me who feels you are in a controlling marriage? Your OH attitude to you appears to have you scared to death to mention anything? 
    I'm sure you mentioned the debt was joint? All assets are joint too. I also get the feeling you are totally on your own anyway.  Being bedridden for 18 hours a day and struggling to dress yourself??? 
    You can choose to answer or not but are you truly happy?? 

    I would also strongly recommend seeking legal advice too to protect yourself. 

                                                                                             

     Debt Free - 04/03/23.  Total LBM August 2021 £15410.70

  • EssexHebridean
    EssexHebridean Posts: 24,424 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    If the marriage is worth having you’ll work it out. It is a good example of - sadly - how lack of honesty and openness can cause issues though. 

    I hope you work things out, strengthen your relationship, and feel able to return here ready to fix the debt situation when you have your lightbulb moment. 
    🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
    Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
    Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
    £100k barrier broken 1/4/25
    SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculator
    she/her
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 351K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.6K Spending & Discounts
  • 244K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 598.9K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 176.9K Life & Family
  • 257.3K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.