Xxxxxx

TheAble

Needles71 said:

EssexHebridean said:

Lovely, with the best will in the world, unless you have some sort of miraculous plan for doubling your income, you cannot pay 50% of the household outgoings right now. Your OH does realise how low your income is now I assume? Does he have no grasp of how much your family expenditure is in a month? 

Disregarding the debt entirely - you need to sit down and work out a fairer split. That’s what a partnership is - sometimes one person contributes more, sometimes the other does - in finances and in other areas too. You can’t carry on under the illusion that you can continue to split the general spending 50/50 though - that’s unsustainable for either of you. 

You need to come up with a viable plan here - and without wanting to stress you further, you need to do it fast before it gets more difficult to sort. I know it’s hugely challenging, but the longer you leave it, the harder it is to sort. 

OH knows nothing about my income. My role in the household is to deal with the bills and groceries 
I am housebound so my income can't increase. 

Something's gotta give though right? At this rate you're just going to get further into debt. I know it's unpleasant but the longer you leave it the worse it's going to get. 

He doesn't need to be a genius to work out that if you're housebound and can't work then your income is going to be limited to a modest amount of benefits.

I think you need to work through this as a couple and sorry to say but you're going to have to have an honest conversation...

kimwp

TheAble said:

Needles71 said:

EssexHebridean said:

Lovely, with the best will in the world, unless you have some sort of miraculous plan for doubling your income, you cannot pay 50% of the household outgoings right now. Your OH does realise how low your income is now I assume? Does he have no grasp of how much your family expenditure is in a month? 

Disregarding the debt entirely - you need to sit down and work out a fairer split. That’s what a partnership is - sometimes one person contributes more, sometimes the other does - in finances and in other areas too. You can’t carry on under the illusion that you can continue to split the general spending 50/50 though - that’s unsustainable for either of you. 

You need to come up with a viable plan here - and without wanting to stress you further, you need to do it fast before it gets more difficult to sort. I know it’s hugely challenging, but the longer you leave it, the harder it is to sort. 

OH knows nothing about my income. My role in the household is to deal with the bills and groceries 
I am housebound so my income can't increase. 

Something's gotta give though right? At this rate you're just going to get further into debt. I know it's unpleasant but the longer you leave it the worse it's going to get. 

He doesn't need to be a genius to work out that if you're housebound and can't work then your income is going to be limited to a modest amount of benefits.

I think you need to work through this as a couple and sorry to say but you're going to have to have an honest conversation...

At the very least, you need to split the finances so that you aren't getting further into debt just taking into account your non-debt outgoings. Even if someone waved a magic wand and made your debt disappear, you'd be back in debt next month.

But you need to get serious about this - if you have no means of increasing your income, you need to ask your partner for help or take on some sort of arrangement with your creditors - but I'm not sure that's even possible with your outgoings higher than income as you wouldn't be able to pay them back (others are better placed to advise on this)

EssexHebridean

Ok - but you still can’t even pay your half of the household bills, let alone anything towards the debts from the income you have. Where do you plan to get the money from for the balance of your share of the household bills - further borrowing? 

I’m sorry if this seems blunt but an awful lot of people here are trying incredibly hard to help you - we can advise but what we can’t do is pay it for you, or change your income situation, and no, I appreciate that you can’t change that either. There IS enough income in the household to meet the outgoings, that is the key thing, and yes, as TheAble says above, an honest conversation is needed. 

If you are just going to stonewall every suggestion that is made there is nothing we can do to help. I asked previously - but will do again. With the numbers in black and white in front of you, what is your plan to firstly meet the monthly household outgoings, and secondly to deal with the debts? 

Edit to add: I previously made some suggestions about ways you could increase your income in spite of being housebound - how about trying those. It’s possible to make £50 - £100 a month from surveys and that sort of thing, so it would certainly help. 

kimwp

Needles71 said:

kimwp said:

I don't think you need to worry about whether to put the full value of the house and mortgage for here - it's good to know yourself and it can be useful to know if someone is renting or has a mortgage as to what options are available, but the value is rarely a useful number for assessing a budget.

Your water, gas and electricity seem high given those are halved, I am one person on a water meter and heat all but the 1.5 bedrooms of a not particularly well insulated 2.5 bed semi-detached - my water bill is less than £15 and my energy bill less than £50. 

I think the key point though is that your outgoings exceed your income significantly before paying anything towards your debts so I think you may be looking at something a bit more than simply searching for a better deal and cutting back a bit - others will be along to advise.

The amounts for Gas, Electricity and Water is half of is paid each money, which means we are always in credit.

I'm not sure what you mean by this, but I've also realised that the values for gas and electricity on your SOA for just you are very similar to the values on your first SOA, do you need to half these also?

I've also spotted an earlier comment that you made - that your benefits just cover your prescription and the groceries - what did you mean by this, is this all your benefits need to pay for and your partner covers the rest?

EssexHebridean

anyone else got recommendations of quick-paying survey sites that the OP could do entirely from home? 

kimwp

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/make-money-online/

But I think it might be worth looking for an actual job that could be done online, or maybe start an online business selling stuff you make.

kazwookie

Jobs working from home, you need to adjust the filters for your skill set, temp, full time, contract etc, as you are working from home, the job does not need to be local.

https://www.reed.co.uk/jobs/work-from-home-jobs?pageno=2&sortby=DisplayDate

Sncjw

I also think you need to have an honest conversation about your finances. 

Surely he can't be that blasé about finances. You say the debts are from joint reasons so why don't you tackle it jointly and you also mention about joint accounts where does he think the money diapears too. 

You say you are responsible for sorting out the household bills but surely its the admin side and not the full financial side. 

There's enough income combined to service those debts and alsp for the mortgage to be just over 1k surely it means you don't have to worry about the mortgage in a way as its nearly paid off. 

It may seem frightening to talk about it but you will just get overloaded with worry. You will get deeper and deeper in the hole too.

Something had to give. 

Needles71

kazwookie said:

Jobs working from home, you need to adjust the filters for your skill set, temp, full time, contract etc, as you are working from home, the job does not need to be local.

https://www.reed.co.uk/jobs/work-from-home-jobs?pageno=2&sortby=DisplayDate

My illness means 18 hrs a day I have to stay in bed. 
I struggle to get myself dressed alone most days. 
I hear what you are all saying but it isn't as easy as you make it sound

Needles71

Sncjw said:

I also think you need to have an honest conversation about your finances. 

Surely he can't be that blasé about finances. You say the debts are from joint reasons so why don't you tackle it jointly and you also mention about joint accounts where does he think the money diapears too. 

You say you are responsible for sorting out the household bills but surely its the admin side and not the full financial side. 

There's enough income combined to service those debts and alsp for the mortgage to be just over 1k surely it means you don't have to worry about the mortgage in a way as its nearly paid off. 

It may seem frightening to talk about it but you will just get overloaded with worry. You will get deeper and deeper in the hole too.

Something had to give. 

I have taken all your advice and approached the subject of the debt. It turned into a blazing row and my marriage is over. I will be living alone from Saturday. OH is leaving me