Gift giving at Christmas - how do you approach it?

Kim_kim

I think the only for children is a great idea.  When I was a child Christmas was
mostly about presents, when you are older it’s about other things. 

We should do that in my family!
having said that all I’m buying this year are my two grandchildren, my daughter & a secret Santa for work, so I’m almost there anyway.  Oh & some posh Tins of M&S biscuits for my team, you know those difficult to get lit up tins ones.  

NP09

Pixie5740 said:

Start this year with the no-gift-giving. It’s very liberating. Children get presents from me and I do the Giving Tree each year but I’ve reached the stage in my life where anything I want I could buy myself. It was something we started when we realised my sibling was getting into debt trying to keep up at Christmas which resulted in him selling all his presents in January to try and balance the books. An unnecessary palaver. 

Hi Pixie, what is the Giving Tree, please? :-)

Pixie5740

NP09 said:

Pixie5740 said:

Start this year with the no-gift-giving. It’s very liberating. Children get presents from me and I do the Giving Tree each year but I’ve reached the stage in my life where anything I want I could buy myself. It was something we started when we realised my sibling was getting into debt trying to keep up at Christmas which resulted in him selling all his presents in January to try and balance the books. An unnecessary palaver. 

Hi Pixie, what is the Giving Tree, please? :-)

It’s a charity where you take a name off a tree dotted around the city and buy a present for a child or teenager. 

https://www.instantneighbour.co.uk/the-giving-tree/

Spendless

kimwp said:

Spendless said:

I peel carrots too. I've never had them served in pubs/restaurants with their skin still on.

I'm intrigued with the 'only for children' presents. How does that work as the children grow up start working themselves, do they not buy for anyone other than a younger generation? If that's the case as I started work I would have only bought for my younger sibling for a few years, and she wouldn't have bought for anyone at all until we both had children of our own, a decade later.

Instead I was quite happy to buy for parents, grandparents and for a while continued with siblings and partners as well as Neices, Nephews and Godchildren. Most of what I call 'extended family' (eg not a parent/grandparent/great grandparent to child relationship) thave dropped off now. I've just got 1 on my present list that I think is time to remove but it's a bit family sensitive at the minute. That situation should  resolve in the next year or so. I'll also say as my kids grew up they didn't lack items, and always had plenty of toys, electronic games, clothes and make up (as DD grew older). If they'd grown up in impoverished circumstances it would have been different. The older generation however, was always happy to receive things that made their pension stretch further, gave them a luxury item they'd not considered before (buying my Mum some tweezerman tweezers being a perfect example, though tweezers are an item she doesn't live without, she was still buying the £2 ones she'd had when I was a teen. Could she afford a decent brand, absolutely, would she consider spending that much on them not knowing the difference they can make - highly unlikely. I bought her some as a gift and it was her favourite christmas present that year0  

"Still buying tweezers", you know they are re-usable, right? 🤔

I doubt she was still using the ones she bought for 31p in 1982! 

kimwp

Spendless said:

kimwp said:

Spendless said:

I peel carrots too. I've never had them served in pubs/restaurants with their skin still on.

I'm intrigued with the 'only for children' presents. How does that work as the children grow up start working themselves, do they not buy for anyone other than a younger generation? If that's the case as I started work I would have only bought for my younger sibling for a few years, and she wouldn't have bought for anyone at all until we both had children of our own, a decade later.

Instead I was quite happy to buy for parents, grandparents and for a while continued with siblings and partners as well as Neices, Nephews and Godchildren. Most of what I call 'extended family' (eg not a parent/grandparent/great grandparent to child relationship) thave dropped off now. I've just got 1 on my present list that I think is time to remove but it's a bit family sensitive at the minute. That situation should  resolve in the next year or so. I'll also say as my kids grew up they didn't lack items, and always had plenty of toys, electronic games, clothes and make up (as DD grew older). If they'd grown up in impoverished circumstances it would have been different. The older generation however, was always happy to receive things that made their pension stretch further, gave them a luxury item they'd not considered before (buying my Mum some tweezerman tweezers being a perfect example, though tweezers are an item she doesn't live without, she was still buying the £2 ones she'd had when I was a teen. Could she afford a decent brand, absolutely, would she consider spending that much on them not knowing the difference they can make - highly unlikely. I bought her some as a gift and it was her favourite christmas present that year0  

"Still buying tweezers", you know they are re-usable, right? 🤔

I doubt she was still using the ones she bought for 31p in 1982! 

My first pair of tweezers are still going strong 20 years later and I expect to have them for life. (Guessing) they were a couple of quid around the millennium. But 31p tweezers break maybe.

Spendless

Kim_kim said:

I think the only for children is a great idea.  When I was a child Christmas was
mostly about presents, when you are older it’s about other things. 

We should do that in my family!
having said that all I’m buying this year are my two grandchildren, my daughter & a secret Santa for work, so I’m almost there anyway.  Oh & some posh Tins of M&S biscuits for my team, you know those difficult to get lit up tins ones.  

maybe if you're still young enough, working, mobile, have a social life and enjoy good enough health.

Only buying for the children in our family would mean this year no gifts for anyone at all. Not

The 3 students who are struggling financially (my 2 kids plus the eldest's girlfriend)

My 2 grandmothers, 1 is 95, very reduced mobility so housebound a lot of the time. The other 96 in a Nursing home, she'll have no idea it's Christmas day but will recognise a brightly wrapped gift given her to open.

My FIL, having his 2nd Christmas as a widower after the unexpected death of my MIL last year. Lots of health problems and has been very down, dislikes going out due to physical struggles due to hiss trokes.

My parents - also older with health issues. I've based my Mum's present around the hospital stay she will have next summer (2nd replacement hip op) I bought because I picked up on certain things I thought would be helpful to her that she either hasn't got, won't think to buy or will save her spending money on them herself.

All presents to the above are thoughtful and suited to their own situations. 

I've only got one on my present list that fits the bill of being young, working professionally and has a good enough social life and health to not *need* a gift, not  what I call a 'direct line'  relative but as I mentioned earlier it's currently a bit 'family sensitive' trying to drop this one just yet, though will happen in next couple of years. 

Spendless

kimwp said:

Spendless said:

kimwp said:

Spendless said:

I peel carrots too. I've never had them served in pubs/restaurants with their skin still on.

I'm intrigued with the 'only for children' presents. How does that work as the children grow up start working themselves, do they not buy for anyone other than a younger generation? If that's the case as I started work I would have only bought for my younger sibling for a few years, and she wouldn't have bought for anyone at all until we both had children of our own, a decade later.

Instead I was quite happy to buy for parents, grandparents and for a while continued with siblings and partners as well as Neices, Nephews and Godchildren. Most of what I call 'extended family' (eg not a parent/grandparent/great grandparent to child relationship) thave dropped off now. I've just got 1 on my present list that I think is time to remove but it's a bit family sensitive at the minute. That situation should  resolve in the next year or so. I'll also say as my kids grew up they didn't lack items, and always had plenty of toys, electronic games, clothes and make up (as DD grew older). If they'd grown up in impoverished circumstances it would have been different. The older generation however, was always happy to receive things that made their pension stretch further, gave them a luxury item they'd not considered before (buying my Mum some tweezerman tweezers being a perfect example, though tweezers are an item she doesn't live without, she was still buying the £2 ones she'd had when I was a teen. Could she afford a decent brand, absolutely, would she consider spending that much on them not knowing the difference they can make - highly unlikely. I bought her some as a gift and it was her favourite christmas present that year0  

"Still buying tweezers", you know they are re-usable, right? 🤔

I doubt she was still using the ones she bought for 31p in 1982! 

My first pair of tweezers are still going strong 20 years later and I expect to have them for life. (Guessing) they were a couple of quid around the millennium. But 31p tweezers break maybe.

Then you found a decent pair and a good price. Ours have bent, gone out of shape, mis aligned. not had a good enough grasp on them even from brand new  and also lost sharpness (though I learnt the nail file trick later but by then I bought better quality ones).

seven-day-weekend

I tried to do a 'no gift' pact with my neighbour, but she bought us pressies anyway.

We buy for our son and his partner, my mother, my son's partner's mother and two lots of good friends, plus a friend of our who has no-one else.  We have no children in the family.

Our son and his partner are having a microwave between them, as theirs has conked out.  

Despite being a practising Christian, I am not keen on Christmas (too much commercialism and glitzy tat) and would happily not do anything other than go to church on Christmas day.  Mine and my husband's best Christmas was when we lived in Spain - Spaniards don't celebrate it until January 6th, so we took a roast chicken and a bottle of cava down to a deserted beach and just watched the waves.

MovingForwards

The retired family members get chocolate, booze and a token gift / voucher each, depending on what their interests are.

Middle ones (40s) get chocolate, booze and food treats.

Little one gets clothes and toys.

We tend to receive money, vouchers and food treats.

Savvy_Sue

olgadapolga said:

I get a lot of pleasure from watching my children open their presents and that's all I need, apart from someone to prep the vegetables as I detest peeling carrots! 

Anyone in the house on Christmas Eve is required to be in the kitchen at 3pm when the service of Nine Lessons starts on Radio 4. Pick a knife, veg peeler and chopping board, get prepping.

I supply treats and live accompaniment to the service.