Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

Chrystal

Hope you're enjoying today as much as yesterday, which sounds idylic.  XXX

ohdearhowdidthathappen

All sounding very positive SH  
I'm always a bit of a wuss at the seaside... I love looking out to sea, but don't like the mess of sand and spend too much time worrying about the kids getting lost plus I hate being in the sun too long.  I like it when it's 19-22 degrees which is quite specific!  
I've recently withdrawn completely from spending time with a few members of my family (including my brother) I found myself feeling angry and resentful when in his presence and life is too short.  I haven't cut him off and if he messages, I respond.  But I don't actively make any effort.  His wife is toxic and he's a weak little man.  I'm pretty much done.  Feel much better for it

ohdearhowdidthathappen

All sounding very positive SH  
I'm always a bit of a wuss at the seaside... I love looking out to sea, but don't like the mess of sand and spend too much time worrying about the kids getting lost plus I hate being in the sun too long.  I like it when it's 19-22 degrees which is quite specific!  
I've recently withdrawn completely from spending time with a few members of my family (including my brother) I found myself feeling angry and resentful when in his presence and life is too short.  I haven't cut him off and if he messages, I respond.  But I don't actively make any effort.  His wife is toxic and he's a weak little man.  I'm pretty much done.  Feel much better for it

MovingForwards

Beach and picnic are perfect, all in your control and very relaxing.

savingholmes

Thanks Blackcats and Elelantan said:

how is it your working out the savings rate ? 

El - I like these people's podcasts - although I sometime think you can lose sight of living in the moment too - so approach with caution. 
https://www.choosefi.com/how-to-calculate-your-savings-rate/

Merlin's_Beard said:

elantan said:

I am like you in that if I know I have something coming up that is going to ise a lot of energy I take it easy before so that I have the energy for what I need, so days out with skinty I tend to do little the day before

I find myself doing this as well, though I have to have different pacing depending on whether something is physically/mentally/emotionally/socially exhausting... 

I have to pace myself all the time - not so much due to physical fatigue but as part of managing overwhelm that can too easily come along side ASD. I find socialising - particularly with extended family - the most draining activity I can do. Not surprising when the simple greetings I used to get when out with the dog filled my social cup!

It's always interesting to read of other's similar experience. Obviously if I increase my physical activity - I need to rest afterwards too - but it is more the mental side of it I find hard. e.g. making myself go out in the first place which is why going away this weekend feels so special.

savingholmes

Sunshine_girl2 said:

Hope you are enjoying your break SH.

I've had a lovely time and avoided sunburn so all good.

@Moralpanic - I think I need to get back in the habit of using meals out as an exceptional treat - and having water with my meal to keep costs lower - so I appreciate them more too. I did a mix of eating out and buying morries hot chicken and salad. The latter beat the sit down meals every time!

powerspowers said:

Enjoy your break SH. Your diary has defeated me once more xx

Thanks for visiting. I sometimes try and post less to make it easier for others to keep up but that doesn't work either. I'm doing okay at the moment.

Chrystal said:

Hope you're enjoying today as much as yesterday, which sounds idylic.  XXX

jwil said:

That sounds lovely.  I'm glad you've had a good time.

Thanks Jwil and @Crystal Went back to the same beach today. Had a picnic again. Went in the water about 3 times -  with the ring and without so I could also swim. The water was a great temp today - it was about 27 degrees where I was - which is why I'd travlelled there.

Waves at MF too - it felt so good to be away - particularly on my own - free from responsibility or having to please anyone else!! My skin appreciated it too.

Merlin's_Beard

Weirdly I always find family the most draining as well. I think it's a combination of lack of script and the expectation that I will "just be myself" (for a given value of self depending on what they're expecting) plus consciously trying to not revert to responding in previous patterns that aren't the healthiest. It feels like a lot of ball to keep in the air compared to strangers or work interactions.

savingholmes

ohdearhowdidthathappen said:

All sounding very positive SH  
I'm always a bit of a wuss at the seaside... I love looking out to sea, but don't like the mess of sand and spend too much time worrying about the kids getting lost plus I hate being in the sun too long.  I like it when it's 19-22 degrees which is quite specific!  
I've recently withdrawn completely from spending time with a few members of my family (including my brother) I found myself feeling angry and resentful when in his presence and life is too short.  I haven't cut him off and if he messages, I respond.  But I don't actively make any effort.  His wife is toxic and he's a weak little man.  I'm pretty much done.  Feel much better for it

Hi - I really related to this. 

I don't like getting sandy - and have bottles of water to clean off sand if it gets stuck

I also found the seaside very stressful with family - especially young kids. It's a totally different experience going alone and just being responsible for me. That is lovely. When the kids were little - like you I panicked all the time where the kids were, squinting to make sure I knew where they were and that they weren't drowning.... They always seem to want to wander off don't they? Then when they make 'new' friends - they are even harder to keep track of and wander in opposite directions.

I also can't cope with over-heating - but my temp gauge in a sea to keep me cool - or my made for 2 sun shelter are again different to what they were when trying to use a windbreak or parasol!

I'm sorry to hear of the relationship breakdown with family. I find avoiding them entirely consumes too much energy - it's easier to plan to go but limit exposure. I aimed for 1 hour and stayed 2 but normally would have stayed 6-8 so it was still huge progress for me. I totally get how toxic wider family can be - put it this way I booked Friday and Monday off originally to compensate for seeing them for a few hours on Saturday. It's only at the last minute I turned it into a trip away.

savingholmes

I had a piece of mail waiting for me today. The good news was inside was £11 in MnS vouchers and some bonus points and money off vouchers. But the £40 I was promised before Xmas for taking out the card that they said would arrive in August still isn't there. I need to contact them tomorrow and try and get it sorted. I was really looking forward to it. I'm worried they may now try and make me wait until their next voucher run in November which Isn't acceptable... or worse never send it at all!! Why do these places make offers and not follow through!!!? It's so irritating.

LadyWithAPlan

savingholmes said:

I had a piece of mail waiting for me today. The good news was inside was £11 in MnS vouchers and some bonus points and money off vouchers. But the £40 I was promised before Xmas for taking out the card that they said would arrive in August still isn't there. I need to contact them tomorrow and try and get it sorted. I was really looking forward to it. I'm worried they may now try and make me wait until their next voucher run in November which Isn't acceptable... or worse never send it at all!! Why do these places make offers and not follow through!!!? It's so irritating.

Thats a fun mail
Where were the other vouchers from?

Your beach trip sounds lovely, especially in this weather
42% savings rate is very impressive and as you say what a great leap forward in the last year