Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

savingholmes

Thanks @Blackcats, Dancing, Beanie and Crystal, and MF

I found out tonight that Ex has been dating someone for a few months. I'm pleased about it but DD lied to my face about who it was when the GF turned up with Ex to pick her up for a meal... I went for a short walk and sat on a bench and journalled. I'm genuinely pleased for him - as the sooner he's settled the better - but I hate the hiding... Apparently he had an offer accepted on a house a month ago too. Makes me wonder if DD still hopes to move out... She keeps threatening to move out (promising?) but then it doesn't materialise

MF - I'm not sure how I'd cope on the plane never mind going on holiday abroad alone - so if I could have been met by my brother at the airport and stayed with him it could have made it easier. Now I need to rethink. I haven't booked time off as I've been waiting for my regrade to go through at work - and to see what happens with P1p. I'd genuinely hate to be the person having to make a decision on my case as some days I could score lots of points and others I wouldn't so it's just how they judge what % of my life I struggle versus not. I got dressed at 8pm today for example - and only because of the news... as I needed to decompress after my time with too many people yesterday.

I planted a few bedding plants in pots in the garden tonight. Need to buy some more as we gave some to my parents yesterday - which felt rather like taking tulips to Holland. They must use that miracle stuff as everything looked huge and perfect. My lavender plugs that I got in lockdown 1 are flowering so I have spread them out a little in pots still, given them some more compost and some water. I need to tackle the weeds. I also have a wall that needs some slab/toppers recementing on. If I do get some extra £ I may target getting someone in to help with that. I also want to get two trees cut down and another two cut back as they are overwhelming the garden. I'd rather plant some bushes like red robin or a smoke bush that are easier to maintain. Even rhododendron which I love or some acers.

I used to have a pond - and I'd love to re-instate it. There was a rill and a water feature. Currently that area is just marshy and weedy but if I got new pipes, a pond liner and someone to sort the pond and the electrics it may be possible to get it working again or something new. I used to love the pond and the water feature. I have a slippery decking path and a very slippery mini-bridge that I've slid down and hurt myself on a number of times - it's finally dawning on me that finances permitting - at some point I could opt to replace that with something else. It's as if I've still been waiting for permission or someone else to step in and do it...  I could potentially ask the people that laid our slate circle and gravel to come back and help. I may start by taking some photos and asking them to quote. I could also see if they could tame the jungle path that now lies behind the pond. It used to be a bark path but the weed membrane has obviously perished so it's not longer working really and potentially needs more bark - although I'd much prefer purple slate as I find that really pretty and it creates more contrast. I also need to decide what to do with my once veg plot but financially don't want to take on too many things at once. I bought some weed membrane a couple of years ago and some pegs but haven't actually laid it / had it laid yet... 

I'd also like some better outdoor lights. I need an electrician for that - perhaps to put some commando plugs in. I got given 3 sets of outdoor lights (worth £150 18 months ago) that still need to be put into use. While I'm dreaming.... I'd love a gazebo too - and would love to string lights around that like they seem to in films and in outdoor pubs... It can look so pretty.  

So anyone got a few grand spare to chuck at it?

Ah well. I feel very lucky overall. It's wants I'm missing out on rather than needs. The news re COL is scary at the moment with apparently kids self harming and going hungry due to parental stress. More people using the f00d banks while donations are declining... The gov are trying to step back and not take responsibility despite raking in huge amount of extra tax from payrises and increased prices. All we are asking for is more of our own money back in our pocket instead of the tax man's. 

Alchemilla

You've summarised the government perfectly.

Sorry about the ex and dd. Must be weird.

MovingForwards

I'd understand DD and ex if he called time, but not as he didn't. 

Garden plans sound great. Break it down into smaller (cheaper) sections and pick a bit off as budget allows. 

SuperSecretSquirrel

I'd give DD the benefit of the doubt that she was just trying to spare your feelings, or maybe even just felt a bit awkward about the situation.

Baileys_Babe

SuperSecretSquirrel said:

I'd give DD the benefit of the doubt that she was just trying to spare your feelings, or maybe even just felt a bit awkward about the situation.

Or perhaps dd didn't think you would be interested.

EssexHebridean

I'd echo those saying that maybe DD felt entirely uncomfortable with the situation, or perhaps Ex even hinted that she shouldn't mention it to you if HE feels a bit uncomfortable about it? 

Your Brother sounds like one of those family members that it is easiest to leave for them to contact you, rather than feeling as though an effort should be being  made and then pretty much getting that effort thrown back in your face. You have gone halfway and it seems as though he has declined to even attempt to meet you halfway - if it were me I'd be taking a step back again and seeing what he chose to do next. Completely agree with others that you don't need either the financial or personal stress of travelling to see someone who can't either empathise or alternatively Shut the "proverbial" up though! 

And Angel Delight - #TeamButterscotch here too - not had in in ages though! 

savingholmes

Thanks @Alchemilla EH @SuperSecretSquirrel @Baileys_Babe and MF

Thanks for helping me get perspective on Ex and my brother.

EH - #TeamButterscotch indeed

I struggle on Mondays to do my hours - but the problem is that then leaves me behind the rest of the week. I have a 10am meeting tomorrow which will help me get started and another that I have to travel for on Wednesday. I need to find some safety boots. No idea where I put them before Wednesday...

Off to SW tonight. Need to get back on plan this week. I'm still enjoying mackerel with salad - so think I will buy some more. I made a big batch of veg soup the other day - so can have some of that too. I also have both fridge and frozen turkey I can use. I need some more yoghurt and perhaps some spuds but other than that probably have enough food in. I have a £5 off £25 spend with L1d1 so will probably try that. Last time I went in though the queues were huge.

MovingForwards

It's the perfect weather for fish salad, soup and other light bites.

Hope you find the boots.

Alchemilla

I'm veggie but mackerel was the only fish I could bear as a kid.

ohdearhowdidthathappen

I think your ex put your DD in an awkward position.
Sorry your bro was so weird.  I'm offended for you that after months of not seeing you he decided to focus on perceived negatives and then scuppered a visit, pretty !!!!!!.
Angel delight.... proper childhood throwback there.  I made it for my kids a couple of years back and it was quite mank.  I don't know if it's been changed or my taste buds had changed - very sweet and cloying?  Butterscotch was still tolerable though