Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

mark55man

sorry to hear that about your brother SH - families are odd, and sometimes a bit of distance is good for everyone but don't let it become a break unless its worse than you have exposed 

jwil

Sorry to hear about your brother, that seems a bit abrupt!

You are really making the effort with the healthy eating and exercise, and every bit you do improves your health, even if it doesn't record on the scales. Keep on going at your pace, not what others think you should be doing.

savingholmes

Thanks @Tahlullah.H @mark55man and jwil

It was worse than I wrote - I edited the worst back out - but Mark - you are still right. Not worth breaking the relationship over. He had a go at me for applying for P1p too but then he also in the past denied that me and DD could possibly be autistic when we were seeking diagnosis. Also various members of the wider family are now being diagnosed with ADHD &//or ASD &/or Dyslexia &/or Dyspraxia... What is amusing with people like my brother - is you can identify various traits they have that are unusual too... He also forgets how much having IBS helps him and another sibling keep slim with little effort... I'd not seen him since xmas so for him to focus on those things to the exclusion of other stuff was painful.

Tahlullah - I think you are right - we would have clashed if I'd gone and visited. It was the fact he lives somewhere hot and sunny currently that was the main attraction - but yes not worth it... 

Jwil - yes my own pace is a good plan. I've had some fruit and soup so far today. Soon will have an SW roast. 

DD is meeting Ex later. I look forward to when he will no has any reasons to come to the house. He still hasn't got his own place and is still with MIL. Sometimes he waits in the car sometimes he comes to the door. Whichever it's awkward. BIL is hopefully coming over next weekend to do some DIY. DD will stay overnight with them at least one night. That will be nice for both of us.

DS's graduation is coming up in a month. That's the next thing I'm struggling with... I can't see how to avoid it being awkward and it requires travel. There are worse problems

At least I am coping financially which I wasn't sure I would. In two weeks is the first anniversary of my epiphany I wanted a divorce. I told him a week or two later. I think past self would be relieved at how well this last year has gone - with many of my biggest worries melting into nothing. Lesson in that for current self too. Future self should be grateful for the financial foundation - particularly pension-wise - even if the goals of MFW and health require a lot more work. We all do the best we can in the moment.

Blackcats

Sorry about the loss of your family member.  Brothers can be odd - mine are - his loss if you don't visit - you don't need the cost both emotionally and financially of a stressful trip. Still hurtful and thoughtless at the time though.  

Arriving late to the angel delight discussions I remember a celebrity come dine with me when a footballer's wife served delice d'anjou au chocolat as her dessert and the other footballer's wives loved it and thought it was a very posh pud.  Banana flavour for me - tastes absolutely nothing like a banana but is very yummy. 

MovingForwards

Blood family can be quirky and it's nothing to do with anyone what you claim, it's a benefit for people with health concerns. 

If you want a hot and sunny holiday, start saving and do a week somewhere. Outside of key dates there are bargains and it provides somewhere new to explore.

The year has flown by, look how much you've changed and what you've achieved.

WelshKitty85

Sorry for your loss SH. 

Alchemilla

Sending love. A graduation could be fun!

Chrystal

Sending ((((hugs)))) SH,  I have a brother like that in my family... my sister still goes on about his refusal 20 odd years later.  Thing is he just used to phone and say they were coming to visit, didn't bother asking, and there would have been world war three if anything had been said. 

As for your brother having opinions on what your are, or aren't, claiming what makes him think he has any right to an opinion, let alone vebalising it.  Sounds as though he thinks he's the big cheese??

 See less of him if you can, you don't need, or deserve, that kind of negativity.  And just for the record I think you're doing brilliantly.  XXXX

DancingInTheRain

Sounds like a testing weekend was well navigated by you so well done for that.

You've come so far in the last 12 months, you've got tons of people here cheering you on x

beanielou

Just to say that my DS's graduation went way better than I thought.
It was a worry & also the first time my maw had seen my ex-dh.