Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

savingholmes

The meal was lovely - Thanks @beanielou

@mickyh-s - good suggestion - we will try that.

MF - thanks for the encouragement. You are right I can't point to anything particularly wasteful - it just added up more than expected this month. I am probably being overly hard on myself.

Looking at my budget - I had my backpay so more money than normal - but from my last pay period

• I will have added £300 to my EF
• I put the government £150 to my gas bill
• I paid out £220 on brakes for my car
• Treated DD to a day out which cost around £100 if I include parking, the meal, £50 cash/clothes for her excluding fuel - probably close to £115 or £120 if I include fuel
• Spent £50 on birthday gift for DD
• Spent £57 on clothes (normal budget £30) 
• I had my holiday and ate out more than normal when I was home (at least double) and bought treat food and drink
• Plus spent a lot more than normal in 'miscellaneous'

Because it's my birthday soon I have more frivolous spend planned in May after which I plan to return to a tighter budget. I get paid the end of this week which will be fab. My HP trip and overnight stay is paid for - however I'm still debating whether to book another night somewhere.

I've just found out that DD is going to Ex/MIL on Sunday so I won't have my 100 mile round trip to do - further saving on fuel and my own energy levels. I do need to drop her off at the station at least twice this week though and potentially pick her up.

In MSE news - I just cashed out £2.63 for a mns voucher - so come the weekend - I will have a whole £4.63 of free £ to spend there! They have also sent me some vouchers.

savingholmes

Just changed my booking for my overnight stay to the night before my HP trip so that I travel down the evening before.  Only costing me £7 extra. That should hopefully make me less tired on the day. Unfortunately I have a hair appointment that evening starting at 4.30 - and while I could travel down afterwards - if I could move it to a different day / earlier in the day that would be better. Will try and sort that tomorrow and book some flexi off too.

I need to decide what to do the rest of my birthday weekend. I have relatives I could stay with but it would be more relaxing not to - and instead to just meet up for a meal - if we meet at all. I am debating whether to join the RHS - and instead of going to Kew - driving to some of the 'free' gardens instead. I've looked on the website for Kew - and it looks a bit overwhelming in scale. One of my relatives lives very close to one of the other gardens I am considering. Or I could rejoin NT for about £20 more per year and have far more properties to visit. They are offering a £15 gift card if I paid the annual fee upfront. I will need to come back no later than the Sunday so I can do a super early 100 mile round trip on the Monday so don't want to leave myself too wiped out. I want to find a way to incentivise myself to get out and about more - and feel like I am 'living' as well as becoming fitter and more active.

MovingForwards

Based on how you wrote posts and described your days out, in your shoes I'd find the extra for NT as it's varied locations covered for the membership.

Of course you're being overhard, you've scrimped and threw everything at being DF. Perhaps another look at your budgets to see if some money can be freed up and allow a little more flexibility.

powerspowers

You’ve worked so hard to be debt free SH, i think it’s normal to feel a bit strange once you get there. 2 thoughts, you don’t need to answer but worth reflecting on- 
1. do you feel you deserve to be debt free (just commented on another post re this) I think you/anyone else achieving this completely does deserve to feel good about this but sometimes our own feelings are complicated! 
2. Are you afraid of getting back in debt and struggling because of that fear? How can you balance that with living life a bit more freely?

enough psychobabble from me, hope you have a good week x

savingholmes

Thanks @MovingForwards and @powerspowers

Plenty of food for thought there. Love the psychobabble - bring it on.

• I think being debt-ridden has been part of my identity for a long time and it's hard to shake off now. I need to use different reasons to justify whether or not I want to do something rather than just can't afford to / I'm in debt.
• I am still struggling with feeling like I cheated at the end as I had help.
• I am scared of restarting a debt cycle. I don't feel I have any time to waste on 'restarting' if I mess up - if I want to create more time freedom for art and writing.
• The news headlines don't help although I minimise exposure to that. I don't know whether personally I am experiencing the high inflation rate as I am taking active steps to minimise the damage - e.g. by reducing energy use and using my car less - but the news creates a lot of fear.

I have written myself a list of things that future self would thank me for - which include health and fitness activities, art and writing and building social connection (family / friends / group activities) - as well as the 'simpler' financial management stuff that can be used to under pin my dreams.

In other MSE news:

My job has been re-evaluated and it has gone up!! It needs final approval - one more person has to comment but they don't usually object - which could take up to 2 weeks - but nearly there. I'm now negotiating to get it backdated and to try and get 2 increments rather than just one. I can only ask... Will let you know what happens. I am planning to use it to buy annual leave - if I got 2 increments I'd still have money left over - if I only get one increment - I'll take less home than now after accounting for the A/L.

I fell down the AVC pensions rabbit hole today. Need to know what my new pay will be and whether or not I'm getting PIP before I do anything too radical. So I think I will 'save' my planned pensions payments for now while I await new information. Could be another 2 months yet and that's if I don't have to appeal.  

I submitted my latest gas reading - and it looks like I only used about £22 of gas over the last month so that is hugely better. Waiting for the bill to show up properly on the site but the email said the amount. They are trying to raise my direct debit - by about £15 - but I may let them so that the shock in October of any further price increase is lessened.

My mortgage provider wrote to me - and congratulated me on being close to 6 months since I took out the mortgage and reminding me I could overpay if I want. Been doing that - at just £20 pcm since month 1. Even that knocks £1K off in 5 years and in theory 6 months off the term of the mortgage if I keep it up throughout. 

I've also had my payslip for this Friday's pay - and seem to have had some tax back from over-paying last month on the backpay - so will take home around £100 more than expected which is fab. I plan to just gently grow my savings for now.

I tried and failed to move my hairdresser's appointment. He's said he'll ring me if he gets a cancellation but other than that I'm stuck. I'm still debating what to do the rest of the weekend.

Hope you are all having a good week.

skint_spice

Great news on the job being reevaluated!

doingitanyway

Very good news about the job. 
Love the list your future self will be thankful for 

EssexHebridean

Excellent news on the job - fingers crossed you can get the two increments too! 

beanielou

Good news on the job 

mark55man

Great news @savingholmes.

There is a definite trend on the newly DF to feel a bit lost/unsettled - I know I'm oscillating at the moment - especially with it coinciding with lock down easing and more freedoms (=things to spend on)

You'll work through it, @footyfandan found treating his EF's/savings targets as debts to repay helped concentrate the mind