Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

savingholmes

Thanks @Chrystal MF @astrocytic_kitten @Bargainhunter30 @hugglemonster @Alchemilla

For a long time my symbol has been a lighthouse in a storm and it was unclear where I was in the picture - more recently I feel like Alice - believing six impossible things before breakfast and changing multiple times during the day. I refuse to make myself small for others anymore...

I've struggled to write fiction for the last year - due to various things that have gone on - but today I broke through and have added to my book 2 word count so I'm really happy. I feel more faith that I can carry on when I am off in a week or so's time - as well as over this extended weekend. So that feels a real milestone. I was also reassured that the quality of my writing is good - I just need to finish the story - edit it multiple times - and it will be fine!! I also have some ideas for some poetry I want to write. I think it's a combination of things settling down - and I've been reading more and watching more on Pr1m3 so my head has had new material to digest which has sparked things again.

I went out with DD last night in what was Ex's car. I think the clutch is going - so she did very well - but struggled to accelerate safely at junctions and on hill starts. I'm frustrated on her behalf - and debating whether to contribute towards fixing it or leave it with her. She has enough £ saved for that but it also needs its cambelt doing and a taped on mirror and electric window need fixing... However - it's going to be difficult to get the car to the garage unless a mechanic can come for it as she's away during the working week. I will ring round and get some quotes for her next week and then she can decide her next steps. I will see if the garage I'm thinking of would be willing to collect it. We're half a mile away so they might. They're the ones who charged me £100 less for the cambelt than they'd quoted which I took as a positive sign.

Happy Easter all!

Honeysucklelou2

Huge congratulations SH! That is wonderful news to read that you are debt free. Well done you 🥳. To have achieved that with all the divorce costs to contend with too, is amazing. Lovely to read that you had a break through with the writing🙂.

Happy Easter.

jwil

Great news that you've managed to do some writing

How experienced is DD with driving generally?  It can take time to get used to the clutch in a different car.  Is it definitely going or is she just not used to it on that particular car?  I drove a car with the clutch 'going' for years before it got to a stage where it actually needed doing.

Humdinger1

@savingholmes 'I refuse to make myself small for others any more'.  This, one thousand times, this defines your achievement.  You are heading for your best life in every way including creatively.  Isn't it amazing what a psychological impact paying off debt has.  Congratulations again love Humdinger xx 

SuperSecretSquirrel

Congratulations on the debt free milestone SH! 🎉 👏 💪

MovingForwards

DDs car is an older one, technology / equipment has moved on when comparing to your car; it may be the clutch is fine and bite practice needed.

Look on 3bay for a mirror housing, even if it's a manual one to replace an electric one, they bolt on / off and are fitted in minutes. If you mean internal mirror they're only stuck on and again takes a couple of minutes to sort out. 

Didn't ex have the cam belt done as part of the decision to keep the car, together with a service and TLC. I think it was near the start of the P, or just after.

Well done finding inspiration and putting pen to paper. Writing will flow freely as more stresses melt away.

Enjoy your long weekend.

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Amazing news on being DF SH, you're so supportive on this forum so it's lovely seeing you reach your goal (although I'm aware you probably have several more!) x

savingholmes

Honeysucklelou2 said:

Huge congratulations SH! That is wonderful news to read that you are debt free. Well done you 🥳. To have achieved that with all the divorce costs to contend with too, is amazing. Lovely to read that you had a break through with the writing🙂.

Happy Easter.

Thanks HSL. I had help from family with the final stretch - but you're right - I actually paid more in divorce fees than the help I received... I realised this week that I wrongly felt like I'd 'cheated' having a gift to get me over the final hurdle. I need to celebrate despite and because of the gift.

Hope you have fun with your creativity too and manage to sort the mortgage soon. Happy Easter and God's blessings on you too.

jwil said:

Great news that you've managed to do some writing

How experienced is DD with driving generally?  It can take time to get used to the clutch in a different car.  Is it definitely going or is she just not used to it on that particular car?  I drove a car with the clutch 'going' for years before it got to a stage where it actually needed doing.

Thanks Jwil for the encouragement as ever. DD has only ever driven her instructor's car before. The car we're talking about has a high bit point - I couldn't get it in reverse last time I tried. Ex and DS struggle with it too but they have mastered it more than her. Will see what the garage says.

Humdinger1 said:

@savingholmes 'I refuse to make myself small for others any more'.  This, one thousand times, this defines your achievement.  You are heading for your best life in every way including creatively.  Isn't it amazing what a psychological impact paying off debt has.  Congratulations again love Humdinger xx 

Thanks @Humdinger1

Thank you. I definitely need to focus on my best life. Because of DD - I've seen Ex 3x this week - all amicable. If anything I feel sorry for him. Each time I wonder how we were together for so long and why I didn't expect / demand more for myself. I accept he didn't have to give. I can't undo the past. I refuse to see them as 'wasted years' as they gave me my kids so I will always be grateful for that. I just refuse to 'settle' moving forwards.

savingholmes

aid - I need to be wary of pursuing too many goals at once. I think I do perhaps need to restate all my longer term goals though.

@MovingForwards No Ex never got around to doing his cam belt so that's still to do. Ex took her out in the car today so she's had a bit more practice. Will see how she goes.

ohdearhowdidthathappen said:

Amazing news on being DF SH, you're so supportive on this forum so it's lovely seeing you reach your goal (although I'm aware you probably have several more!) x

Thanks so much Ohsh... You are right on the goals - but that makes it even more important to celebrate the steps along the way. 

SuperSecretSquirrel said:

Congratulations on the debt free milestone SH! 🎉 👏 💪

Thank you. I wish we'd woken up to wise use of £ as early as you did in life. I don't really know how to work out my FIRE number - given so much of my 'wealth' is in DB pensions. It would also be different by each year of age - as my available pension reduces if I draw it early. I think as @Crystal said - though I should be wary of splitting my focus.

I'm doing what I can for my pension by being in a DB scheme and putting the odd bit extra into a private scheme. I'm paying my mortgage off aggressively anyway as I could only get a 22 year mortgage - and in reality I need it to be shorted. My focus therefore is on making sure I have savings - while being mindful that it is time in the market that counts. 

MovingForwards

We all wonder why we stuck around and didn't split sooner, but that's the benefit of hindsight and knowing how quickly we turned things around. I see it as it wasn't the right time until we believed in ourselves. That applies to a lot of things including FIRE.

Only when I was working out living costs, while still saving the deposit before buying the flat, did I realise ER was a possibility as the outgoings are negligible. That led me to calculating living on just my income and paying OHs NI instead of him working. Which in turn turned me to looking at my pensions. And so on, as each action does create a stepping stone for another area.

When you get payrises, bonuses, even P1P, split the money between current, future and retired you, the right things will go down and up over a year.