how to deal with Christmas after a death

gettingtheresometime

squizz11 said:

I lost my husband in September, it was sudden and quite traumatic as I had to CPR with my 14 yr old son,  now everyone is talking about Christmas and I just want to run.

we are also going through a no fault eviction and I can't even look for a house as finances aren't through yet.

I don't want a tree or gifts, I don't want to buy gifts but having three kids I know I have to.  my mum wants to come over but I don't want that either but if I don't she will be on her own with my unreliable brother and my sister is covid paranoid and won't go near anyone so I feel guilty if she doesn't come.

I don't even know what I want an answer to just need to see if anyone has been through this 😢

Squizz11

If it's any consolation I am in exactly the same boat as you - Husband died in October under the same circumstances, so I know exactly how you are feeling.

The only difference is that our son is of working age. How old are your children?

I did think that I would go to my sister's (I've told son to do what he had planned to do as I can't imagine anything worse than him, me and possibly my mum trying to have a Christmas Dinner) but tbh I've spent a couple of days with her and although I've been made to feel very welcome, I don't think she gets where I am and I don't think I could play at being cheerful for the few days I'd be here.

So I've tentatively decided that I'm going to stay at home, even if that means being on my own and as for dinner, I think I will have an alternative Christmas meal - Steak perhaps?

As for decorations, I know when FIL passed away in November, it was all still too raw for decorations but I had lots of candles lit and it was much more spiritual, but still Christmasy in a way.