Missy’s Surviving the storm so we can dance in the rain.

slm6002

You are doing well to keep going through so many pages of me rambling on.  I had a look back at the beginning of it the other night and feel like so much has changed even in the past year or 2.  Thank you for your kind words.

I am sorry you are not feeling right today.  Have a day of self care and then be ready to tackle everything else when fully rested tomorrow.  It is very frustrating having to wait for someone else to change your future.  Have a think and see if there are any little improvements that you can do (cheaply or free) whilst waiting.  Maybe there are some free online courses that might help your CV while you wait.  

When your head is clear (perhaps not today) you do need to work out some realistic figures that you will need to live on.  I would add in your top estimates rather than figures you think you might be able to reach.  So if you have been spending £50 a week on food, but you hope to spend £35, add in the £50 for now.  Any left over can always be added to the savings pot.  It is more difficult to find the extra needed.  If there is any left over at the end of each month add to the Christmas and birthday funds or car repair.  These things will always happen so if you can save some towards it each month it is less of a shock.

If the children are old enough make finding free activities part of the fun.  Give them a budget of £2 and see what activities they can come up with.  It is a good life lesson that they can use, knowing how to have fun for free or very little.  Maybe a cooking challenge on a tiny budget

missymoo81

Thanks @slm6002 I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. Im still working my way through your diary, I can relate to so much to it, as I went through a v similar situation. You’re doing so well.

and thank you for your kind comments. Have tried to be kind to myself today and do little bits and pieces without stressing. I’ve sorted my wardrobe and got rid of some things and gone through all the coats hats and scarves. 

Chased up about job as the guy I’ve been speaking to messaged me about something else. Apparently there are meetings being held today, so I should hear soon he said, meetings will prob go into tomorrow too I think. It’s not definitive as I would need to interview etc. Have got another days work next week which is good. This year if all days go ahead, I should earn another £6.5k from adhoc job which is good. 

I like your thinking @slm6@slm6002 I'm looking at budgets now, I always under estimate with food and spends so need to take actual numbers as you say. Some Good things though, my car insurance is coming up for renewal and I can save £12 a month, and £8/£13 a month on my phone bill depending which tariff I choose. I know OH has loads of things he can bring down so it will be a good exercise for him to do.

Went to lidl and spent £16, should get us through until next week hopefully, so I’m happy with that. Only went in for bare essentials and only came out with them even with children in tow, so all good.

Children are having cheap pizzas for dinner as is tradition with a movie on a Wednesday. Me and OH will prob have omelettes when he gets in.

Friday will be curry as OH can make that,

Tomorrow will be pork chops with potatoes and some sort of freezer veg or carrots actually. 

Saturday will be bolognese maybe or lasagne? 

Sunday chicken pie I think. 

Monday left over bolognese. 

Then shopping pick up on Tuesday 

it’s taken me ages to write this and I’ve realised it is now long past 1715 when I know the company I’m wanting a job at finishes for the day, so I know I won’t find out any more today. But at least things are a bit brighter than they were earlier.

Thanks for reading.

missymoo81

Sitting with OH now and looking at all bills and expenses, he’s being very good and telling me things he can cut down on. Our mortgage is so high, as Are bills and fuel costs. That our overall realistic amount we need for a month is huge. Not sure how we can manage it. But we’re in talks now to see what we can do.

RelievedSheff

Well done for sitting down and talking it through. It's a tough talk to have but it's better to have it and come up with a realistic budget rather than burying your heads in the sand.

missymoo81

Thanks @RelievedSheff it's eye opening and I have to say I feel pretty sick about it all if I’m honest. The money we spend on food is outrageous! Not just on shopping but on eating out as we work in cafes a lot doing all of the admin etc, and all the little top up shops and bits and pieces along with groceries is £600+. I did this calculation before and brought it right down. But convenience wins every time. But just adding my half up of what I and the children need to survive it’s £2000 a month. OH’s will be similar so we need to earn £4K a month….. 

missymoo81

was up super late last night, discussing things with OH. It is exhausting! Am super tired this morning because of it. But we’ve come up with some timescales that I think are workable, all involve me getting a different job within a year. And myself and OH really tightening belts whilst he trains for new career and works. It’s the first time ever the lightbulb has gone in his head about money. I think because this time, we need to make changes to allow him to train, it’s quite funny seeing his mind working and actually making himself a sandwich when he’s hungry instead of going to the shop. 

Am working tonight which I’m strangely looking forward to. But won’t be back until late, but then I’m not working tomorrow but OH is.

Made pasta bake last night didn’t fancy pork chops.

Right, speak later, let’s see if I can make today a NSD.

slm6002

It is great that you are working together, which will hopefully make things easier.  I never had that so fingers crossed for you both

jwil

That's great that you've managed to come up with a plan

missymoo81

Thanks @slm6002 and @jwil.

Am so tired and have such a busy week next week. Got some things done today, have hung 2 loads of washing out and sent a work email. Need to send another and send childminder a message and work next week. Feeling very anxious as have some voluntary work today and it’s going to take quite some hours and is due by midnight tomorrow. Really need to get a wiggle on with it. But it’s quite
complex.

I will try and do 2 hours later on today and then another 2-3 hours tomorrow and that should be enough hopefully. 

Need to give the house a good tidy but it’s actually been really nice to just sit and do not a lot this morning, it’s the first Saturday I’ve had off in forever. 

NSD yesterday and  I was trying for the same today but I managed to get May summer school summer dresses on Ebat for £14 including postage and Roo some shorts for £8, I’m happy with that. May needs some shirts to go under so I’m going to see if I can make some out of one of her old dresses. I’ve got elastic and a teeny sewing machine, should be worth a go. 

That’s the only money I have spent and I’ve realised it’s actually really hard to not just stop for coffee or get something from the shop. I didn’t realise how unconsciously and often I do it! But deep breath, I can do this! 

jwil

You can do it!