Estate Agents Blurb

Ms_Chocaholic

Thinking of selling our home in the next few months so I've been checking out a few of the local estate agents, there's several near us but one of them always uses this type of blurb on their listings - I find it cringeworthy, does anyone else? I know what they're trying to do but ...... sunbathing? Do they not realise what the UK weather is usually like.

Inside the main house venture into your large living
room, both of your comfy sofas sat waiting for you to
relax. Throw some logs on the log burner and get nice
and cosy, a film on and a hot chocolate in hand whilst
enjoying the company of your family.

Fancy a bite to eat? Head over to your open
kitchen/dining room to prepare some tasty food. The
smart kitchen is ideal for cooking up a storm, the gloss
cabinets are the perfect disguise for hiding all the
kitchen clutter away in. Your island counter is an extra
bonus to the kitchen, great for sitting round to enjoy a
quick breakfast and coffee before heading out for the
day.

Why not enjoy your tasty creations round the family
dining table? With room for six seats, you can chat
away about the day’s events over your evening meals.

You also have a shower room off the
utility, a great extra option if you're out and about
sunbathing or walking and need a quick freshen up
when you head back inside.

stressedout45

That's very cringe!

hazyjo

Oh the shame 🙈

How about:

Two reception rooms so you can get away from your partner when they're watching Love Island or football.

Separate kitchen so you can shut the door to hide the smell of burnt dinner (again).

Two double bedrooms, so you can get a good night's sleep without smothering your partner in their sleep for snoring.

A fully enclosed garden so you can shut the kids outside for a bit of peace and quiet.

***

Cynical? Me?

AFF8879

I also find it astonishing how 95% of properties are “recently refurbished”…

rexmedorum

AFF8879 said:

I also find it astonishing how 95% of properties are “recently refurbished”…

Does anybody read blurb for every property they look at?

Snuggles

Oh god, this is exactly the same as one of our local agents (are you in North Yorks by any chance?). It's SO cheesy, I really dislike it.

However they appear to be the best most proactive agents in our area so I will probably use them when we sell and just grit my teeth at the cringy blurb.

Thrugelmir

No more cynical than the vendor that has the log burner ablaze,  a number of reed diffusers dotted around, cooking bread in the oven. Then offers you a cup of tea and a piece of homemade cake while showing you pictures taken of them refurbishing of the property. 

MalMonroe

Oh, I don't know. It's given us a laugh anyway! I like an estate agent who can think a little bit outside the box. I would be tempted to go with them rather than the dull and boring ones.

FreeBear

Ms_Chocaholic said:Throw some logs on the log burner

One does not throw logs on a wood burner. To do so, will crack the fire bricks which can be an expensive repair.

Pixie5740

I think it is a game estate agents play amongst themselves....who can write the most outlandish property blurb.

Davesnave

The question is, 'Do they shift property effectively?'

Neither of the two most proactive agents near me uses such BS in their blurb and  their pictures are always non-arty and straightforward. They also supply floor plans. This suggests most people don't want, or need, guff.

Nevertheless, the majority here use a local lady, 'Because she knows the area' and every advert she does starts with the same long description of the town, so one has to scroll to find any text relating to the property itself. No one seems to notice she over-prices, so there's usually a reduction a month or two after the ads go live.

Many people who employ agents aren't very discriminating and we all like to hear our homes described in glowing terms, so nonsense like this will persist. Gone are the days of the EA in Glastonbury who used to have the gimmick of telling the truth with ads like: " A bog-standard semi-dee with a few rough edges and some worse bits if you look very closely. Hey, but never mind the quality, or lack of it, look at the price!"