A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni 22 September 2021 at 7:44AM in Debt free diaries 353 replies 34.9K views

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you have a lot going on.  My DDs are older than your DS and DD so we went through the exodus to university about 18 years ago now but I still remember it as a difficult time.  As my DH said though they keep coming back  .  I certainly would not take out an expensive contract for your DD until she starts looking after her stuff better and your idea to make her pay the difference is good.  She is an adult now so needs to take responsibility.  Great life lesson. 

Good luck for the car today and hope the bill is less than £500.  At some point it will need replacing though but it sounds like you have savings which is great.  

Spendless

Coxy11 said:

Oh no Spendless, so sorry about the phone! That's just so unlucky, but glad you still had DDs previous phone for her to use. Glad you enjoyed the play and how exciting to meet a celeb on the train! 

Thank you. Good news about a replacement. DH rang the phone provider up put the situation to them and was offered something but not entirely ideal. Looked into some other options. Then yesterday he rang the phone provider back, this time he said he wanted to cancel  on all our phones that were out of contract. He was then offered the following deal which has been taken  both mine and DS phone was reduced to £10 a month each. The saving exceeds the increased cost plus a new phone for DD.  Mine and DS contract is for 24 months so we have told DS that this is the final one we pay for and he takes over either when we finds f-time work after he graduates or at the end of the contract, whichever is sooner. We had talked about DS taking over earlier than this but currently him and gf aren't living off a great deal of money. Their online work has dried up a lot. Gf is job hunting. I'm in 2 minds about DS finding work too (other than his online stuff) though the money would be handy, because he's so close to finishing his degree and he has 'previous history' of not knuckling down to his studies, hence he ended up on a foundation year first (and not due to capabilities!). 

DD has gone and sorted out her p-time job and starts on Saturday. We are going to ask her for a £10 monthly contribution to her phone from her wages. That would knock our payment down to what we were previously paying for her (and still exceeds what we pay for her brother's phone) but also we want to focus her on the need to be more organised in what she does, such as take a safe bag for her belongings. 

Spendless

enthusiasticsaver said:

Sounds like you have a lot going on.  My DDs are older than your DS and DD so we went through the exodus to university about 18 years ago now but I still remember it as a difficult time.  As my DH said though they keep coming back  .  I certainly would not take out an expensive contract for your DD until she starts looking after her stuff better and your idea to make her pay the difference is good.  She is an adult now so needs to take responsibility.  Great life lesson. 

Good luck for the car today and hope the bill is less than £500.  At some point it will need replacing though but it sounds like you have savings which is great.  

Thank you. It's funny because 10-15 year ago I looked to this time as being easier as a parent than it was back then, but I remember asking my neighbour's elderly Dad at what point did kids stop driving you nuts and he looked straight at me and replied 'They don't. They just try you in different ways. '

The car passed it's MOT! I am both relieved and astonished! That gives me a plan. Update my CV with my latest work on and apply for jobs now I know I can get to them. 

Coxy11

Great news about the phone deal, and good idea to ask DD for a contribution each month. So pleased about your car too - whoohoo! Good luck with the job search - will keep my fingers crossed for you x

savingholmes

Great news on the phone deal and even better that your car got through the mot.

Spendless

Thank you Coxy11 and savingholmes. DD's new phone should arrive later today. I have complimentary tickets to see King Richard and am going with a friend, so my parents are going to house sit waiting it's arrival. We are currently looking into the cost using DH's hotel points of going to see DD and taking the phone. She is still ill with the bad cough/chest infection, managed to get a Drs appointment yesterday who said nothing they could do for it. 

Today I went through my collection of bags, carrier and shopper ones, as well as my tote bags. To my astonishment I discovered that if I exclude my handbags then I only own 2 bags that I now consider 'safe' (as in they can fully zip across) and both are too bulky for me to have taken to the theatre last week. I have no idea if this is because shopper tote type bags don't tend to come with a zip or just I've never looked for them. Going to drop some heavy hints to my Mum later about it that I could do with more suitable bags if she's struggling for ideas for me for Christmas. (as she usually is).

   

savingholmes

I would send pictures and links. I refuse to buy any handbags that don't zip shut - to make it harder for phone to be nicked. Where possible there's a flap over and a zip underneath...

Spendless

savingholmes said:

I would send pictures and links. I refuse to buy any handbags that don't zip shut - to make it harder for phone to be nicked. Where possible there's a flap over and a zip underneath...

I found something suitable so sent the link to DH instead. My Mum doesn't 'do' technology, has no email address and has only got a phone in recent years that you can text on - not that she knows how to do that either! 

DD was still unwell, so we made a last minute decision to go up there for 2 nights. On our way up (4.5/5 hr drive) we got a message from her saying she'd been sent home from college ill with the instruction to rest for the remainder  of the week and see how she was Monday. Due to the rehearsals they're currently doing if not back then they'd have to change (reduce) some of her scenes. We were glad we were already on our way to her and when we got there it was clear she hadn't been coping well. When we checked into our hotel room it also had a sofa bed, so we moved her in with us and she spent the whole time just sleeping. DH used his last AL day on the drive up, so worked from the hotel as she slept and I went back to her digs and straightened it up, fetched all the laundry up to date (2 loads and 3 driers cost around £15!). Astounded to find that for a private student hall that has 60 rooms there is only 1 washer and 1 drier (I checked with a staff member!). Was glad I was doing it on a weekday when most were at class. That's something I will question in future for student accommodation what the ratio for laundry facilities are!

We were able to use some of DH's loyalty points to offset the hotel cost. Not as cheap as initially thought unfortunately, DH thinks he only put 1 night in when getting the cost instead of 2. However, I'm classing this as 'emergency'. DD needed complete bed rest, us being there meant she could get it. She was also meant to start her job yesterday which had been delayed till she produced her ID. She felt she could manage to go in - just, but another day at least of bed rest would be more beneficial.   I said to put the problem to her employer, were they happy for her to go in with a cough even though she's tested negative for covid. They said No and to get a PCR which she had yesterday. That gave her the best of both worlds , could still rest this weekend and job held for her.

What she did have to miss out on though was the baby shower we were invited to yesterday for DH's cousin. Travelling and her health and potentially passing on whatever she's got (no idea, it's just not covid!) to the expectant Mum wasn't a good idea, even without she might have had to start her job anyway.  I've never been to a baby shower before and hit lucky with the gifts. A local lady was selling a new boxed knitted pram set (dress, leggings, bonnet) for £7. I checked the online price later and it's over double that. Then with DD not going I went to buy  something on her behalf  from Tesco and hit lucky. In a clearance basket, was a short sleeved  baby vest for 50p plus a sun hat reduced to £1.50. I bought these in a larger size so DD gave a summer outfit for £2, and I gave a winter one (baby due Jan) for £7. Under a tenner in total - result. It cost more than that to eat on the way home (baby shower 100 miles away) as only nibbles had been provided there. 

savingholmes

Glad you were able to help DD out. It's amazing how much young adults can eat your time and money. Speaking from experience. Worth it though.

Spendless

DD started her job on Friday at long last. It's a good hourly wage for the job/her age with bonus potential. See if she just caught the deadline for payday later this month though.


She has both a dress rehearsal and her main 'scenes' next week at college, so asked me to send up some drama clothes needed, which I sent via Hermes on Tuesday. They've still not arrived (have tracked it). If only she'd said when they were needed for I'd have paid the extra for next day delivery. Now she's going to have to find something 'just in case' they don't turn up, which will be dearer than me paying the extra couple of quid in the first place!

We had friends over last night, loads of spirits  in so suggested a rum and gin night. Set a budget for it. They no longer eat meat so we decided on chicken (for us) and veggie (for them) fajitas. Used plenty of what was in the cupboards, including a tin of mixed beans that DD had never fancied. However shopping for the bits we did need, at the checkout I only noticed then that DH has stuck 8 cans of beer in (4 JS, 4 Guiness). Asked him what the point of a rum night was if he intended adding beer. He'd put it in without me seeing him (his usual habit of wandering off in a supermarket!). I wasn't going to cause a fuss at the checkout and demand it taken out, but I can't say I was thrilled either. Don't think he 'got it' either when the total bill came under our budget with his beer - I pointed out that without it, we'd have come in around half price! Just now I have tidied away the cans left out and he only  drank 2 of them - his friend was happy to stick to rum! 

Edit - and I find I miscounted he only drank one and DD contacted him during the night, in a tizwas about needing the costume and he sent her money to cover it. To say I'm not happy is an understatement.