A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

Coxy11

Hi Spendless,
Gosh, sounds like a lot going on for you atm (((hugs))) Glad you realised about the food app before it got too out of hand. We had similar with !tunes back in the day with DS1 ordering stuff linked to DHs card! 
Hope DD is settling in. My DD came home on Friday for the weekend as it was her birthday. She had very little petrol but managed to find some at 8pm on Sunday night before driving back, thank goodness.
I hope you have a better week and that you find the motivation to do some of your jobs - maybe start with something small and build up to larger jobs.
Take care,
Coxy x

Spendless

Thanks Coxy11

Well I've been MIA because we went away for a few nights. I had no desire to go abroad due to the hassle and cost of covid tests but had for a while wanted to see the Northumberland coast. We had company for every night we were there, initially taking my parents with us and then on the day they went back, as DD doesn't have college at the end of the week and where we were staying was close to a mainline stop from where she is, came overnight and then when she went some friends came. We returned last night and I felt relaxed whilst away.

It is becoming gradually easier with DD gone (seeing her helped). The first 2 weeks she was gone were horrendous. DH has since told me that he thought I was heading for a break down.  What I never said on my last post because it felt too raw is that I bumped into DD's ex boyfriend the previous weekend - he has a job close to our house and is keeping that up for a while. We went for a coffee and I thought it cleared the air, accepting their relationship was over only to discover he went out that night and did something that was deliberately set out to hurt DD and against everything he'd said to me earlier that day. I can't say it's a pleasant feeling to realise you've been gas-lighted by a teenager you actually liked and had helped along their way.

On the money front - we ate out lots whilst away! However taking a dog with us instead of kids was definitely cheaper. He was content with a  stroll along the beach every day. 

I have 3 days work via the agency next week, but I think it will dry up after that. 

BellaLasagna2018

Whereabouts on the Northumberland coast did you go, if you don’t mind me asking? 

Coxy11

Hi Spendless,

Sounds like you had a lovely time away, and it's so good that you were able to meet up with DD too. I hope she's settling in okay and finding her feet.

I can sympathise with your feelings over DDs ex. It's so upsetting when you've welcomed someone into your home and invested in a relationship with them, and then they let you down with their behaviour. One of DDs exs (with him from 15-17) put really nasty stuff up online when they (amicably) split, which caused a lot of upset. He was here 3 nights a week for tea and actually tried to blank me in Te$co after they split - the cheek! She then went out with a lad for only a couple of months, he was very very unstable, so she let him down gently, only for him to rock up one night at 1am and put a brick through her windscreen. Couldn't make it up really - very Eastenders! Anyway the guy she's seeing now is 5 years older, but young for his age. He treats her well and they seem happy. That's what's important at the end of the day.

I'm sending DD a goodie box today. Did this last year too for the term she was actually away from home at uni. It's just a box with some sweeties, jellies, chocolate - total cost about £5 - and postage will be about £4. Just a little something to keep her mood up as she tends to get a bit low. I might mix it up with mini bottles of wine or little shower gels etc. but they weigh a bit more. Just an idea for your DD if you think it might help?

Hope the agency work leads to something else. Will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Have a good day
Coxy 

Honeysucklelou2

How are you Spendless? How is your DD doing?

Great idea Coxy11 - a treat box sounds brilliant.

Spendless

Sorry I've been MIA. I've been having PC problems. Mr S works in IT but I liken this to being married to a plumber who never gets round to fixing the leaky tap at home! It's sorted now though.

The other reason is we managed to go away o/night and see DD, taking her beloved dog with us. DH discovered he'd not been aware he'd signed up to a loyalty rewards scheme for a hotel chain, which also  allows dogs   and the points had amounted up to a night free, just pay for the dog, so he used up one of the AL days he has left and we went to see DD. Earlier in the week she had been admitted to hospital in the early hours of the morning with breathing difficulties. Having had tests run on here inc for pneumonia which were negative, they concluded she had covid and to go book a PCR, which she did, which was negative (as was the LF she did). IMO she has got a nasty chest/throat infection. I have to say when DD got this last minute place and wanted to take it, I wasn't overly thrilled at first and part of that reason was she'd be living in a different part of the UK to us, so subject to different rules when it came to things like covid restrictions. I have to say though, the experience she had from the health service, has been fabulous. She was taken to and from the hospital by paid for taxi. Only later did we hear from her that she had downplayed symptoms to us (for the 1st time in her life - she's a drama student for a reason - lol), if we'd been aware of the true situation we'd have been racing to get to her. 

Anyway it was lovely to see her and she's doing well, enjoying her course and starting to make friends. On the way back we dropped off a mini freezer at son's accommodation, which had become spare from FIL. Son and gf are in a sort of bedsit/studio flat this year that has it's own kitchen but the freezer part was within the fridge and not much space. This is better for them and is allowed at the accommodation. It was just a flying visit but nice to see DS too. As I hear from DD every day I'm not the emotional wreck I was at the beginning of her going. I totally agree @Coxy11, we had welcomed. accommodated, supported and helped the ex, his behaviour feels like a slap in the face to all we did. I don't expect teenage relationships to last forever, I'm aware most don't but the way this was done seems so wrong. 

The finances at this point in the month are healthier than they've been in recent months, which is really good considering as well as the overnight stop (which incurs costs even if the hotel was free) and have also been away. We went to Newbiggin by the sea @BellaLasagna2018 but also drove up the coast and stopped in a few places including Seahouses. If I'd known dogs were welcome I would have done one of the cruises there too, but was too late in the day before I found out.

I had 3 days work  this week, which has also helped the household money pot  but it now goes to ad hoc if/when they need me. I will give it a couple of weeks before looking for something else.



 

 

BellaLasagna2018

The finances at this point in the month are healthier than they've been in recent months, which is really good considering as well as the overnight stop (which incurs costs even if the hotel was free) and have also been away. We went to Newbiggin by the sea @BellaLasagna2018 but also drove up the coast and stopped in a few places including Seahouses. If I'd known dogs were welcome I would have done one of the cruises there too, but was too late in the day before I found out.

Thank you @Spendless for answering my question. I live in newcastle and love visiting Northumberland, just next door! There is a lovely old fashioned ice-cream parlour/ cafe in Newbiggin-by-the sea, and I love walking on the beach there. If you ever visit again, I would strongly suggest Walkworth, again lovely beach walk and ice cream parlour. I haven’t been to Seahouses for years now. I will have to go again! 

Spendless

BellaLasagna2018 said:

The finances at this point in the month are healthier than they've been in recent months, which is really good considering as well as the overnight stop (which incurs costs even if the hotel was free) and have also been away. We went to Newbiggin by the sea @BellaLasagna2018 but also drove up the coast and stopped in a few places including Seahouses. If I'd known dogs were welcome I would have done one of the cruises there too, but was too late in the day before I found out.

Thank you @Spendless for answering my question. I live in newcastle and love visiting Northumberland, just next door! There is a lovely old fashioned ice-cream parlour/ cafe in Newbiggin-by-the sea, and I love walking on the beach there. If you ever visit again, I would strongly suggest Walkworth, again lovely beach walk and ice cream parlour. I haven’t been to Seahouses for years now. I will have to go again! 

Is the ice cream parlour on the sea front? If so, we may have passed it. We were unsure with some premises if they had closed as we were slightly out of season (good for the dog though - he was allowed on the beach as it was October), they'd been a casualty of the pandemic as many businesses have or if we were just walking past at times/days when they weren't open.  

It's possible we may go back as the holiday home is owned by a friend's Mum. Said friend is a Vet as is her sister, which is how I knew the place would most definitely be dog friendly! Probably not do it whilst DD is still at college though as it's only a short course which now takes her over the remainder of Autumn and Winter months. 

Tonight we have some relatives coming for tea due to them currently being without a kitchen. Have decided on Shepherd's Pie, so need to pop out soon and buy mince. I have everything else in.  

BellaLasagna2018

No, it’s not really on the seafront @Spendless. I don’t think it is anyway, and I haven’t been since before COVID so my memory is a bit hazy. It’s got a little square in front of it. 

I don’t have a dog, but one of my most favourite things about walking on the beaches up here is meeting other people’s dogs! 

Spendless

Bellalasagna - Sounds like it *might* be the place we went for coffee every morning. I never went inside to order so never saw everything they did.

Well I did 3 days at the same place via the agency last week and at the end of my time the CEO came to see me asked if I'd be available for any work if anyone needed additional support, I said yes and reiterated this to the agency, who said they'd talk to them. Then yesterday when I was chased for my timesheet I'd accidentally forgotten to put in (due to going away!) amongst the emails I was sent was my P45, so clearly no more work via that channel. I am now going to give myself a couple of weeks break tog et the household jobs done that I just couldn't manage for the first fortnight of DD being away due to the state I was in and then update my CV and job hunt again. Will need to be done before next month finishes, I know from prior experience there's nothing job wise here in December or January! 

DD had more promising news though, she got offered a job in a fashion retail store yesterday, working Saturday and Sunday.  She is going to be busy. She does 4 full days (9-5/5.30)  at drama school and will be working all day Saturday and Sunday. Which is just going to leave her 1 free day plus weekday evenings to herself. I am glad that we found her halls on the same street as her college so she doesn't have to factor in a commute too and a flatmate she's become friendly with studies every evening late into the night and DD often joins him in the common room so she can do any homework etc then

This will be a huge financial help though. She had some small part time jobs prior to moving away, not much because it was difficult before she turned 18 to find something and  the lockdowns and tier restrictions made it worse.  So she had a little bit of money to take away with her, but she's mostly reliant on what we send her to live on as her course doesn't qualify for student funding.

Relatives came for tea. I did cottage pie which was a success. I had no mince and haven't cooked for 4 meat eaters for a long time (DD became vegetarian at 13, DS went to Uni 3 years ago and doesn't come home much). I thought the price of the larger packet too expensive -lol so bought the smaller and bulked it out with veg. Not only did it serve 4 I have 1 portion left for another day - not today though as I am out with a friend for a much needed catch up.