A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

EssexHebridean

So glad your DD has both you and her GM for support - its awful that she's gone through it but young brains heal remarkably well from traumatic experiences - if she can learn lessons from it and then move on with it in mind, but not constantly present, she'll be fine I'd guess. It does sound very much like it would be better for the world if her ex doesn't gain any success in his chosen field - sad to say but probably true! 

Glad also that we all have this space here to be able to "talk through" stuff like this - I love the openness that we find in conversation here. 

Spendless

I totally agree with you @EssexHebridean .. He also has a flair for another subject area, something one of his parents wanted to persue and had Uni places for, but turned down in order to follow his dream. Daughter said she's glad she steered him away from considering this alternative path as there he had the potential to be dangerous. DD's Godmother has also made the suggestion I keep an arms length loose eye on his career over the years to see which circles he's orbiting. Unfortunately during all of this I have uncovered something that DD has lied to us about. I've no intention of fetching it up with DD as it would be very damaging for her MH. It has flagged to me that she needs to return to therapy. We intend having a general chat to her about the importance of looking after her own well being as a priority.

The frosted glass on our downstairs loo has been smashed! We have CCTV on there but for some reason DH hadn't got the side of the house switched to alert on his phone. The plain glass of the window has held so we're not left exposed, just another expense to cover! 


My Xmas shopping is done. Waiting for the arrival of one or two bits and also have managed to mislay one of DH's presents. I finish work for Christmas tomorrow. I have so very rarely had a job where they close for Christmas that I'm looking forward to the break though being agency it means some of it will be unpaid. By then though DH will have had his wages, so manageable.  DH unlike many doesn't get paid early in December, instead it remains on the last working day of the month. It does make this time of year when additional and often unexpected or not considered expenses come up difficult thought January after a NYE payday is a doddle, so am glad I'm currently getting wages.

If you thought my hours were long (they are!) then I was rang recently about a job and not only it is 7.30-5 (identical to mine) for 6 months of the year that is for 6 days a week. For the remaining 6 months of the year (the winter months) it was Mon-Fri 10-4 to 'compensate'. I waited to be told something that gave a huge advantage to doing this which made it worth whilse eg a fantastic salary or 40 days annual leave and there wasn't any. I said the thought of doing long day with 1 day off a week throughout the summer just didn't appeal and the 'compensation' of reduced hours in winter meant though nice to finish at 4pm instead of 5pm, meant you'd still be going home in the dark, and I failed to see what advantage a 10am start gave, other than lying in bed longer, as it's not that you could do much with it. I then wished them well finding something and said it wasn't for me. 

Coxy11

Hi Spendless,
Glad to hear DD arrived home safely but what a lot for you all to be dealing with. The ex sounds very dangerous and DD is well shot of him. Definitely keep a eye on what he is doing - sounds like a repeat of the Me Too movement could be on the cards. I know from experience with our DD that MH is a tricky subject to bring up. She has medicated for a year now (we didn't know until quite recently) - not saying that's the answer for your DD though. 
Don't blame you turning the other job down - doesn't make any sense to switch for something with worse hours and same salary/holidays. Just nuts.
Hope you find the missing present!
Coxy

EssexHebridean

The hours on that job are just ridiculous - and for 6 hours a week, too?! Good for you for saying it wasn't for you! Frankly I don't think there is a salary or holiday entitlement out there that could tempt me towards that sort of working arrangement! 

What a pain about the glass - will you just be able to get a replacement unit rather than needing the whole window replaced do you think? 

savingholmes

Sounds like a lot going on. I wouldn't accept those working hours either - and for the hours you are on now - I would be looking for somewhere else than paid the same or more for less hours. Sure it must exist...

Spendless

It's my last day today before breaking up for Christmas. I have so rarely had a job that does Christmas closure and have worked in several places (and not as a store assistant) that ban any time at all in December off (even the 1st of the month!), so looking forward to it. I finish today rather than lunch time tomorrow when the place closes as I'm agency. I suspect the place doesn't wish to pay agency staff for what they know will be a quiet day.

I was rang then texted by another agency about other vacancies and I'm going to give them a ring back too, see what they say. Unfortunately I do live in a deprived area and with that comes poor pay and usually a lack of jobs. Daughter who studies in an affluent area told me of a conversation between on eof the students who is from there to an international student who queried the minimum wage and was told what it was but 'no where pays that, they all pay higher'. Daughter had to step in and correct this and point out where she was from at her age it would be rare to be higher. A new lady started at work this week. I was aware of this as I started, she was working her notice period. Though I'd initially been told 2 months temping work, I would have been finished last Friday prior to her starting though my lkine manager was unaware of this, but they changed their minds once I'd started and now I'm there till the end of Jan when it will be reviewed. Anyway I asked new lady what prompted the move and she told me the salary was better. From the amounts I'm being paid and also the amount being mentioned to me if I become a permanent member of staff, the salary is only good due to the long house and as I've already worked out without a rise will become minimum wage netted down from April, so I wonder if she's done the sums or not. DH has suggested I continue to look and then if I find something, may have a 'force their hand' decision to come to. If I have no work from Feb, I can at least save for the next few weeks to cover DD's costs for her remaining time at drama school

We have at LONG LAST got to the bottom of DD's not covid cough. They believe she has silent reflux. My mum has it (diagnosed) and DH (undiagnosed, because he won't go to the Drs, despite being a survivor of oral cancer - sigh!)  She has a prescription to collect, a saliva sample to give and has been referred fro a chest x ray. Looking it up, yes this makes sense. An unhealthy diet once she moved away from home - how many times did I complain about Ubereats on here! that has aggravated the condition. 

 

Coxy11

Hi Spendless,
I would definitely continue to keep options open regarding work. No harm in looking. 
Had to look up silent reflux - sounds awful. TBH I don't think most students have a healthy diet. My DD survives on the odd bit of brocolli, pasta, cheese - anything simple. I think there's an element of CBA but I told her to bulk cook and freeze portions, and she took that on board last term. She's here until end of January now as wants to be home for DS2's 18th. I will take her food shopping before she goes back. Hope your DD's symptoms improve.
Have a good last day at work - I'm working tomorrow too
Coxy

Honeysucklelou2

Sorry to read about your DD’s experiences. That’s good , that DD’s godmother had been able to flag up the signs she’d seen. 

Glad the dr has been able to get to the bottom of your DD’s cough...hope she feels better soon.

Hope your last day at work before Christmas goes well.

EssexHebridean

That's great that DD has an answer about the cough - it really is the last thing anyone wants right now isn't it - with constant necessary cries of "It's OK - it's not Covid!" 

Hope your last day at work ahead of Christmas is not too taxing! 

savingholmes

Glad your DD now has a diagnosis and treatment plan. Hope things pick up for both of you.